Adoption Sucks News

Yahoo! News - Chasing Glimpses of a Past

2004-08-29T04:23:00.000-04:00

Yahoo! News - Chasing Glimpses of a Past

Chasing Glimpses of a Past

Sat Aug 28, 7:55 AM ET Add Top Stories - Los Angeles Times to My Yahoo!

By Barbara Demick Times Staff Writer

KUNSAN, South Korea (news - web sites) — The clerk in the police station gives a quizzical look to the young woman in the short green sundress. She has Korean features, but something about her manner and even the sweep of her ponytail is distinctly American.

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He then looks down at the small black-and-white photograph of a baby who was found abandoned in 1975 in front of a nearby bank.

"It's very difficult. There are no records going back that far," the clerk says. "Nobody will remember you from that long ago."

Amanda Lowrey Silva isn't discouraged. The 29-year-old graduate student from Chicago already knows from the cautionary tales of other adoptees and a previous trip here that the search for the missing pieces of her life will be frustrating — and probably fruitless.

Silva has precious few scraps of information. She knows the date she was found, but she doesn't know her birthday. She doesn't know her original name, although the orphanage named her Kim Eun Ja.

Her memories are as precarious as dreams, or perhaps they are dreams after all — she can't be sure. She thinks she remembers a man who wore white-collared shirts and was frequently angry. A mother who comforted her after the fights and held her up cheek to cheek as they gazed at their images in the mirror.

"I miss my birth mother. I've always missed her," she says. "My adoptive mother, too, would hold my face up to hers in the mirror, but it was weird how different she looked from me…. When I was older, I would look in the mirror myself and say, 'God, do I look so Asian?' It was strange."

Since the 1950s, more than 150,000 South Korean children have been sent abroad for adoption, about 100,000 of them to the United States. Long before children began arriving in the U.S. from China and Russia — the two leading countries today for foreign adoptions — there were the Korean babies. Although the number of new arrivals has trailed off since the 1980s, they still make up the largest foreign adoptee population in the United States.

Increasingly, they're returning to their homeland as adults. Especially during summer holidays, the adoptees come by the thousands, often equipped with little more than phrasebooks and printouts from MapQuest showing the locations of towns with unpronounceable names where they might have been born.

Hwang Seung Yeon, a sociologist with Kyung Hee University in Seoul, estimates that about 20% of adoptees have visited South Korea in search of their roots and that eventually as many as 80% will.

There is deep shame about adoption in South Korea, where the subject carries connotations of poverty and extramarital sex. The first generation of adoptees in the years after the 1950-53 Korean War were sent abroad because their families couldn't afford to feed them properly, whereas recent adoptees are more likely to be children born out of wedlock, according to South Korean government statistics.

Last year, the number of babies born in South Korea reached a record low, but the country still sent 2,287 children abroad for adoption. One reason for this statistical oddity is the strong stigma in the country against unmarried mothers.

Adoption agencies here do not release names or addresses of birth parents but will forward letters to them.

"If the mother was unmarried at the time, in about half the cases they'll deny being the birth mother and say you've contacted the wrong person," says Seong Kyong Hee, who works with adult adoptees for Holt International Children's Services Inc., the largest agency handling South Korean adoptions.

At the same time, there has been an outpouring of public sympathy for the adoptees. In the last few years, a number of organizations have begun offering adoptees assistance, including accommodations and even instruction in making kimchi.

The returnees have become darlings of South Korean television. Numerous shows have been aired about their searches and even a few reunions, scripted with the same pathos of the reunions between separated North and South Korean families.

A database set up by the government in 1999 to help track missing children was quickly swamped by adoptees seeking birth parents and birth parents seeking adoptees. ("JiYeoung had beautiful ears," one birth mother wrote of a daughter who had been adopted 28 years earlier. "She was beautiful and voluminous," wrote another. )

This month, the first international conference of Korean adoptees to take place in the country was held in Seoul, attracting about 450 adoptees.

The government agency that oversees the missing-children effort began soliciting DNA samples from adoptees this month for a databank to be used in matching them up with their birth parents.

Eileen Thompson Isaacs, a social worker and adoptee, says that adoptees only recently have realized they have the right and ability to search for their birth parents.

"For us in the older generation, we were told there was no way we would ever see our biological parents again and don't bother," says Isaacs, who was adopted as a 2-year-old in 1959. "Now that we realize that we can, how can we not?"

For Silva, the trip to this small city 100 miles south of Seoul was a long journey, not just geographically, but also psychologically.

When she started the search last year, she had recently married and was working toward a doctorate in viral biology at Northwestern University. She and her husband were trying to decide where to move next, but somehow Silva's past seemed to hold her back from going forward. She became active in an association of South Korean adoptees in Chicago and started to think about her birth parents.

"You come to a point where you think about searching," she says. "You talk about it with your parents. You make the first call to the adoption agency. Each of these little steps takes a while, and there is a whole emotional cycle connected with each one."

Silva first contacted her agency in May 2003 and traveled to South Korea in December. At first, it was overwhelming to be around people with faces like her own, she says.

"On the train, I saw a woman and I thought, 'She really looks like me, she's the right age, could she be [my mother]?' " Silva recalls.

More frustrating was a nagging sense of deja vu that might have been her imagination. Or was it real?

"I had a sensation that I was here before in infancy and I recognized things. But how much of that is genuine and how much is synthetic, I don't know," Silva says. "I don't know which memories are real. That is one thing about being an adoptee — your past can be anything you imagine. It's like you are writing your own personal history."

That first trip left Silva feeling more confused than ever. So she recently came back, on an oppressive August day, accompanied by fellow adoptee Cori McMillan, who was also looking for information about her parents.

Her first stop was the Ilmaekwon Children's Home, a threadbare but scrupulously clean establishment surrounded by lush gardens. There was a maddening din of cicadas and a pungent aroma of dirty diapers.

Silva knelt on the linoleum floor of the nursery to play with some of the toddlers. She cooed annyeong, or "hello," one of the few Korean words she knows.

Silva lived for about a year at this orphanage, where she was brought July 9, 1975, a summer day perhaps much like this one. She was about 6 months old.

A black-and-white photo still pasted in the orphanage's scrapbook shows a baby with skinny legs wearing the flowered dress she is believed to have been wearing the day she was found. Another from the garden of the orphanage shows her dressed like a boy in a white shirt and trousers.

Then come more photos — these in color — showing her at about 18 months in a typically suburban American living room with a man and two slightly older blond boys. Those would be her new brothers and father, a nuclear physicist. The photos were taken in 1976 shortly after Silva's arrival in the United States and mailed by her parents to the adoption agency.

As Silva pores over the album, orphanage director Kim Kuk Jin serves glasses of ice water. He is friendly, eager to be of service, but he doesn't know much. His parents established this orphanage in the 1960s, but he has worked here just three years. Nobody here now has any memory of this particular baby.

Kim looks crestfallen when asked whether he thinks Silva has a chance of finding her birth parents.

"There was another young woman here, not long ago. She met her mother. It was a wonderful thing," he says gently. "But Amanda's case is different. She was abandoned. There are no records."

Kim pulls out a single sheet of paper that sums up Silva's life history until the time she came to the orphanage. Among the scant details: "Found on road in front of Seoul Bank in Kunsan City." "Abandoned." "Condition: weak."

He makes a photocopy and gives it to Silva.

Silva realizes that she has come to a dead end at the orphanage.

"You learn to be suspicious," she says. "Practically all the Korean adoptees find misinformation in their files. They're often told that they were abandoned when they were not or that the records were destroyed because your orphanage burned down. That's a common line."

She moves on to the Kunsan police station. At first, it doesn't seem very promising. The place is painted the pea green that was popular in American elementary schools in the 1970s. The files aren't computerized. The older male clerk, Kim Yeon Sul, who happens to be a retired detective, tries to cheer up Silva by telling her, "You must have been a very beautiful baby with no deformities or distinguishing marks that anyone would remember."

But then one of the clerks, reading through the photocopied sheet from the orphanage, recognizes the name of the woman who is listed as having found the baby: Moon Jeong Hee. A woman who used to work for the Police Department had the same name.

There is a flurry of activity as the retired detective tries to find out where she's living. He rifles through the telephone book. Unlisted.

They start calling around trying to find someone who they think is the brother of the woman's husband. No luck.

By now jet lag and exhaustion are clearly setting in for Silva. Just in time, her cellphone brings a respite. It is a reporter for a local newspaper, the Jeonbuk Ilbo, which Silva had contacted about the cost of running an advertisement for anyone with information about her case.

The reporter says the newspaper will run a story along with any baby pictures for free, another of the many random acts of kindness encountered by adoptees here.

She rushes over to the office in a taxi.

"I think about my mother all the time. I hope she thinks about me," Silva is telling the reporter when the phone rings again. This time, it is the retired detective from the police station. He's found the cellphone number for Moon Jeong Hee. The interview stops as an interpreter dials the telephone number.

No sooner has she started to explain who Silva is than the call is cut off. Everybody exchanges curious glances. Has she hung up?

But then the phone rings again as Moon calls back, apologizing that the battery on her phone ran out.

Yes, indeed, she is most likely the right person. In the 1970s, she worked in the police division responsible for lost and abandoned children. If there was nowhere else, she would often keep the children overnight in her home until the parent was found, and if that didn't happen, it would be her job to take them to the orphanage.

But no, she doesn't have any memory of this particular baby.

"You must have been very special to have been chosen to be adopted to the United States," Moon tells Silva through the interpreter.

As the day drags on, Silva's expectations are clearly lowering. There are no more leads. The trail is cold. She has a flight out in less than 48 hours. She knows that when she gets home to Chicago, her friends and family will ask her whether she found her South Korean family, and she will have to explain.

Silva visits the bank where she was found — more out of a sense of pilgrimage than hope. It is 5 p.m., and the entrance is covered by metal gates. She and McMillan, her friend, look around to see whether there is anybody who might remember a baby abandoned 29 years ago. Hardly. Everything looks like it was built in the last decade. There's a Baskin-Robbins, a Nike store. The name and ownership of the bank changed long ago.

"So this is the famous bank, huh?" McMillan asks.

"Yup," Silva says before posing for a couple of souvenir snapshots. "And it's probably as close as I'm going to get."

This time. She knows she'll be back.

"All I'm really looking for is closure. What is the story? I want to close that chapter of my life and move on," she says. "If I just knew my mother's name. My whole life history hinges on one name."

Abandoned Children Suffered Abuse

2004-08-22T23:12:00.000-04:00

Yahoo%21 News - Report%3A Abandoned Children Suffered Abuse

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Report: Abandoned Children Suffered Abuse

Sun Aug 22, 3:43 PM ET

DALLAS - Three of the seven American children abandoned at a Nigerian orphanage had suffered years of abuse, including broken bones and beatings with extension cords, before they were adopted by the woman who left them in Africa, a newspaper reported Sunday.

The oldest of those three children told investigators that her mother and grandmother often beat her and her two brothers with a black belt and an extension cord nicknamed the "persuader," according to court files seen by The Dallas Morning News.

The children's mother denied harming them.

"I gave them nothing more than a little whip on the behind to keep them straight," LaQuinta Teague told the newspaper. "I am a good mother."

Child Protective Services has declined to reveal details of the children's treatment or how it handled allegations of abuse before it approved their adoption in 1996 by Mercury Liggins, who is accused of abandoning them in Africa.

A judge in Fort Bend County sealed the court file containing information about the 1996 adoption of four other Houston-area children by Liggins. However, a juvenile court in Dallas allowed the Morning News to review files for the other three children.

The oldest Dallas girl told CPS caseworkers that her mother and grandmother often beat them.

"She whops (sic) us on our bottom, hips and on our hands," the girl, then 6, told CPS caseworker Kallie Capps.

The children, now ages 8 to 12, were so terrorized that one of the boys told school officials he could not go home after soiling his underwear because he feared he'd be beaten, according to the files.

"The next day, he came to the school with an abrasion on his lip, stating his mother hit him on the mouth with a belt," Capps wrote.

CPS caseworkers investigated abuse allegations at least six times. The children were removed from Teague's custody while she was serving a prison term for assaulting a police officer.

Liggins, the adoptive mother of all seven children, also has been accused of abusing them. CPS officials received several complaints of abuse and neglect, but a spokeswoman said the children always denied they were being abused.

Since they returned from Africa this month, however, the children have told of beatings with canes and switches by Liggins.

U.S. authorities believe the seven American children arrived in Nigeria last October with Liggins, but that she left within weeks. She later took a job as a food-service worker in military mess halls in Iraq (news - web sites), but quit in July, U.S. officials said.

Her attorney said she left the children with her brother-in-law.

The Morning News said Liggins received state child-subsidy payments conservatively estimated at nearly $250,000 between 1996 and 2004, yet her children often complained to neighbors of being hungry. A relative said Liggins treated her biological children well but was miserly toward the adopted children.

Liggins has declined to comment. Her lawyer said she will seek to regain custody of the children, who have been placed in two foster homes pending a custody hearing on Thursday.

Adopted by a priest

2004-08-20T19:09:00.000-04:00

Colombian%27s %27adoption%27 by priest too good to be true

SEATTLE POST-INTELLIGENCER
http://seattlepi.nwsource.com/local/187185_ariza20.html

Colombian's 'adoption' by priest too good to be true
An unwanted name, a life not of his choosing

Friday, August 20, 2004

By CLAUDIA ROWE
SEATTLE POST-INTELLIGENCER REPORTER

For years, Ariel Ariza believed that his name was Ariel Mitchell. It was listed on his birth certificate, passport and the papers he filed to enroll at Highline Community College. But it was not a name Ariza ever embraced.

Every time he wrote "Mitchell," it reminded him of the day that the Rev. James Mitchell arrived in his rural mountain village in Colombia -- half a day's walk from the nearest road -- with offers of a way out of poverty, an escape from violence. And, he says, it reminded him of what happened afterward: five years of sexual abuse under the guise of a caring, adoptive father.

Ariza has detailed his charges in a lawsuit, filed in May against Mitchell and the Roman Catholic Archdiocese of Seattle.

In 1982, Ariza badly needed help. He was 17 years old, and terrified. The priest's arrival in town coincided with his own homecoming from the hospital, where he'd been treated for a bullet wound to the chest. The guerrilla fighters who shot him had already killed his father and sister.

Although he had known the priest for less than a day, Mitchell's suggestion that Ariza leave home and enroll -- for free -- at the priest's school, El Camino, sounded like a godsend.

Almost immediately, Ariza said, Mitchell treated his newest student differently from the rest. At the school near Barbosa, a day's journey from home, he got special food and made private trips into town with the priest. Mitchell told him to consider himself a son, and within weeks, Ariza said, he was sleeping in the man's bed.

"There are so many things that come to your mind -- you don't know what is right and what is wrong," he said in an interview. "He was like my father."

About a year later, the priest offered to make it official.

"He said, 'I can adopt you and bring you to the United States,' " Ariza recalled. " 'You will be my son.' "

They traveled to the U.S. Consulate in Bogota -- to obtain adoption papers, Ariza thought, although what they got turned out to be merely a tourist visa. It was enough to get both men across the border and into California, where, Ariza said, the priest obtained a new birth certificate for him -- with a birth date showing the boy as 16, although he was actually two years older.

"He told me, 'This is the name you're going to be using -- Mitchell,' " Ariza recalled. "He told me the papers are going through, and you are my adopted son. He even gave me his name as my middle name, Ariel James Mitchell. But I was using a name that wasn't mine and claiming that I was born in the United States when I wasn't, so I had a bad feeling."

In 1984, they arrived at Mitchell's new assignment, St. John's Parish in Vancouver, Wash., where the priest had been specially hired to reach out to Spanish speakers. Another teenager from El Camino, whom Mitchell had also offered to adopt, was living there, too, Ariza said.

Together, the three set up house, the boys working in the priest's garden during the day and spending alternate nights in his bed, Ariza said.

"I was scared. First, he said he was going to be my father and take the role of my father, who had just been killed, then he was saying, 'I know you're scared but this is normal. This is what two men should do,'" Ariza said. "He'd threaten to send me back to Colombia if I disobeyed. That was the main threat."

The other boy, reached recently in Oregon, said the priest never harmed him.

Others at St. John's wondered about the new priest's unusual living arrangement. It didn't look right to the Rev. Michael O'Brien, the pastor, but when he learned about Ariza's past -- a father killed by guerillas, a boy rescued from poverty -- he put his misgivings about Mitchell aside.

"Because of the story that he'd actually adopted the boys and they'd come from situations where they were in danger for their lives, it seemed like a noble thing," O'Brien said.

O'Brien said he had a harder time ignoring signs of a drinking problem in Mitchell. He asked Ariza about it one afternoon as they strolled in a nearby park. What, exactly, went on in Mitchell's home, the elder priest asked. How were the boys getting on?

Ariza unloaded, telling all about the promised adoption that had never materialized and the nights of sexual abuse at El Camino. Ariza said he reported that the molestations continued at St. John's, although O'Brien recalls only allegations about Colombia.

O'Brien notified church authorities and, within weeks, Mitchell was summoned to Seattle, sent away for alcoholism treatment and, by 1987, had been removed from the archdiocese. Ariza never saw him again.

Ariza's attorney, Mary Fleck, believes that the church did too little, too late.

"The emphasis was to take care of the priest, not the child," she said. "There should have been supervision of this priest much earlier to find out what was he doing with the boys when he brought them here from another country. If they had looked into his behavior in Colombia, they would have known there were problems, and if they had paid attention to what was going on in Vancouver, they would have reacted a lot sooner."

Greg Magnoni, a spokesman for the Seattle Archdiocese, explained that Mitchell, who was ordained in Colombia, was operating here essentially as a freelancer and, as such, would have been subject to less rigorous oversight.

"He really was not one of ours, so there wouldn't be the same personnel record as there would be for one of our diocesan priests," Magnoni said. "We've made mistakes and apologized for those mistakes, but that's unfortunately not a sufficient response from the perspective of the victims. We recognize that."

Mitchell was gone from Ariza's life, but his problems were far from over. No one from the church helped him find a new place to live, he said, although a local family took him in. He supported himself with a series of odd jobs and eventually enrolled at Highline Community College in Des Moines.

Only years later, when attempting to transfer to the University of Washington, was Ariza contacted by federal immigration agents and informed that the papers he'd presented affirming his identity -- the ones that Mitchell had provided from California -- were falsified. His marriage to an American secured his status here in the early 1990s, but he continues to wrestle with questions of identity.

Mitchell has not responded to requests for comment.

Under the circumstances of his removal from ministry here, Magnoni said, the priest's prospects for serving in another diocese would be severely limited.

Nevertheless, a 2002 report in The Spokesman-Review in Spokane showed Mitchell in ceremonial garb, baptizing a Spanish-speaking family in his Pullman home. When informed last week, Spokane church officials reacted with surprise.

"He does not have any permission to function as a priest in the Diocese of Spokane," said Steven Dublinski, the vicar general there. "I know he's down in Pullman, but he does not function as a priest here in any way. We'll look into it."

Mitchell currently lives with two other young men from El Camino. Only one, Adelmo Leon, agreed to speak with a reporter, and he staunchly defended the priest.

In an interview, Leon recalled the day Father Mitchell arrived in his rural Colombian village, seven hours' walk from the nearest road, just as he had with Ariza. Throughout his nine subsequent years with the cleric -- beginning at age 16 -- Leon said, Mitchell had never made an inappropriate move. Ariza's sexual abuse charges are baseless, he insists.

"I'm 100 percent sure of it," he said. "I've been living with Father Mitchell since 1996, and I know him very well. He is doing such good things for so many people."

The priest's presence undoubtedly has been life-changing for Leon. Mitchell helped his student win a scholarship to Washington State University and put Leon up in his spacious home, where wall-to-wall carpeting pads his every footstep. On a recent Friday evening, the young man looked around at his new American life and smiled contentedly.

"I never could have achieved anything like this without Father Mitchell," he said.

THIS SERIES
Yesterday, the Seattle Post-Intelligencer reported that dozens of clerics across the country who were accused of molesting minors lived with children, often serving as legal parents or guardians. Among them were four priests in Washington, who were later removed from the ministry for sexual abuse. Today, two Seattle-area men describe abuse inflicted when they were children living with priests.

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P-I reporter Claudia Rowe can be reached at 206-448-8320 or claudiarowe@seattlepi.com

Mom mourns tiny baby kept in shoebox

2004-08-18T21:33:00.000-04:00

News - Post-Tribune %28Northwest Indiana%29

Mom mourns tiny baby kept in shoebox
Aug. 18, 2004

By Jonathan Lipman

Daily Southtown staff writer

An infant boy was found dead in a shoebox in the home of his 15-year-old mother in Lansing, Ill., on Monday.

That girl wants you to know she didn’t kill the baby. She wants you to know what really happened to her infant son.

How she hid her pregnancy from her family for seven months.

How she gave birth on her own, in a bathtub, at 4 in the morning last Friday.

How she slept next to the tiny body, born two months premature, for two days, without telling a soul, even though she knew her child was dead.

About his name — Raphael Pierre.

She wants you to know she was trying to do what she thought right. But she made mistakes.

“I would like people to know I loved him,” she said. “And I tried to do the most responsible thing I could do.”

The Cook County Medical Examiner’s office lists the child’s first name as “Baby Boy.” On Tuesday, the medical examiner ruled the infant died naturally because it was born premature. Police are investigating, but already have said they don’t believe a crime occurred.

The teenager, whose name is being withheld, nevertheless feels at fault. With hair pulled back by a headband and a black Snoopy shirt on her small frame, she looked at the ground and described what happened to “my baby.”

“He was born premature because I didn’t get any natal care,” she said. “And because I was so young.”

The teen said she got pregnant Feb. 4, by a boy she knew from school whom she had been dating for three months. She learned about the pregnancy in May and knew it was a mistake.

“I regret making that mistake, but I understood my pregnancy,” she said, her voice full of conviction. “I wasn’t going to have an abortion ... if I couldn’t give him away, I would have just left (with the baby).”

The girl lives with her parents and brothers in a two-story home on a quiet street in Lansing. Proud of her family, she was afraid of letting her parents down.

“I would rather be a missing girl than have me living off my family like that. Why should they provide for me and my mistake?” she said.

So she made a plan: She would conceal the pregnancy and would arrange for the baby’s adoption on her own. She started calling adoption agencies and settled on The Cradle, based in Evanston, in June. The agency agreed to work with her without telling her parents.

“I wore big shirts,” she said proudly. “And it was a small pregnancy. The day I tried on my graduation dress, that was the day I almost got caught.”

But her parents never figured it out. Last Thursday night, she was supposed to meet a counselor from the adoption agency at a nearby restaurant.

But she began to feel cramps and couldn’t go.

“I didn’t know I was in labor, I just figured I was cramping up,” the girl said.

Determined to keep the pregnancy secret, the girl crawled into the bathtub.

She had no medication, no medical help, and no idea what to do.

At about 4 a.m., she gave birth, all alone.

“It wasn’t bad. I figured it would be worse. I just kept that in mind.”

Right away, she knew the baby was in trouble. He came two months early, and the girl could hear no heartbeat from her new son.

“He didn’t cry. He just shook a little,” she said.

Within 15 minutes, newly named Raphael Pierre was dead.

“I just sat there, I didn’t know what to do,” she said. “I didn’t call police. I didn’t have a phone, and I still didn’t want to tell my parents. ... After watching him die in my arms, I just couldn’t do that to them.”

Instead, she took the body of the infant back to her room and curled up with him in her bed.

She kept him there for three days.

“Even though he was dead, I still wanted to be with him,” she said, crying. “Because he was so pretty.”

She spent as much time as she could with the little boy’s body, but still tried to hide what happened from her parents. On Friday, the day she gave birth, she spent the afternoon doing yard work. On Monday, she decided it was time to tell the boy’s father. She placed the baby’s body in a shoebox and went to meet him at school.

After he saw the child, the couple decided to call the adoption counselor.

The agency told them to call police, who came to the home, found the baby, and told the girl’s parents what happened.

She still hasn’t talked to her parents directly about the pregnancy. She says she can’t.

The girl’s parents declined to be interviewed.

The mother said this has happened too fast for her to explain clearly what she feels.

“My daddy, he was worried about my health, and my mommy, she was just confused,” the girl said. “She was so confused how I could go through labor and then smile the next day.”

The girl was hospitalized briefly with an infection, but was told she’ll recover. What she doesn’t know is how she’ll face her family again. She’s still afraid of what they may think.

And she doesn’t know how to make it up to Raphael Pierre. She said she know she owes him.

“I would rather be,” she said, speaking slowly and fighting back tears, “in his situation.”

Texas adoptive abandoned in Africa

2004-08-17T23:16:00.000-04:00

CNN.com - Seven%A0Texas%A0children%A0found%A0in%A0Nigeria orphanage - Aug 17%2C 2004

Seven Texas children found in Nigeria orphanage
Youths, thin and covered with bites, returned to state

HOUSTON, Texas (AP) -- Seven Texas children were discovered abandoned at a Nigerian orphanage, ravaged by disease and malnutrition, and have been brought back to the state.

Child Protective Services, which received emergency custody of the children Monday, is investigating accusations that the children's adoptive mother in Houston abandoned them in Nigeria in October while going to work in Iraq as a private contractor. The children returned to Texas on Friday.

Three of the children were hospitalized with malaria and later released, said CPS spokeswoman Estella Olguin. The youths were thin and covered with mosquito bites, infections and scars.

The three boys and four girls, ranging from 8 to 16, were discovered in late July by a visiting Texas missionary who notified American lawmakers.

"It's horrible, horrible," Olguin said. "I haven't seen anything like it. Seven children fending for themselves in a foreign country where they have no family members."

Now, they are living in two Houston foster homes.

Four siblings were adopted from Houston in 1996, followed by a set of three siblings from Dallas in 2001, according to authorities who interviewed the children and their adoptive mother.

The woman, whose name was not released, took all the children in October to Nigeria, where a relative of her fiance lived. The children were enrolled in school and the mother returned to Houston about 30 days later. She went to work in Iraq in April.

But the children were later removed from school because payment for their tuition stopped and lived in a wooden shack. Nigerian child-protection authorities found the children malnourished and sick and moved them to an orphanage in late July.

A minister from a San Antonio church who overheard the children speaking with American accents interviewed them, then alerted U.S. congressmen who called CPS.

State officials will determine whether criminal charges will be filed against the adoptive mother, who is due back in court August 26.

Find this article at:
http://www.cnn.com//2004/US/Southwest/08/17/abandoned.children.ap/index.html

Pregnant by Jesus?

2004-08-15T12:19:00.000-04:00

BBC NEWS | Magazine | Pregnant by Jesus?

Pregnant by Jesus?
They're called "miracle babies" and for some childless couples in Britain, they're a dream come true. But doctors and Church of England officials are worried the babies aren't miracles at all, but either a shortcut adoption process or a baby-trafficking scheme.

Down a telephone line from Africa, Charles Nyeko hears the worry in his wife's voice. When she speaks to him from Kenya, where she went to have their "miracle baby", Miriam Nyeko sounds just awful.

"Miriam is in a terrible state, with no idea what will happen," the product designer, who lives in London, says. "We don't know what to think."

The Nyekos are the latest couple who claim to have had a miracle conception. Members of one of Britain's fastest-growing churches - the Gilbert Deya Ministries - they say their three-week old son is a "miracle from God."

But the Church of England and Royal College of Obstetrics and Gynaecology are calling for an investigation into the so-called "miracle babies" being born to British women.

A BBC investigation looked into the births and discovered that the church's leader, Kenyan-born Gilbert Deya, prays over the childless women, and they are pronounced pregnant by Jesus.

Backstreets of Nairobi

The women then travel to Kenya where they apparently give birth in what are described as backstreet clinics in Nairobi.

Radio 4's Face the Facts discovered that one of the "miracle babies" has been taken into care after tests revealed that its DNA did not match either of its parents. Later, it was discovered the child's Kenyan birth certificate was a forgery.

"I believe in miracles, but I don't believe that people can have babies miraculously that have totally different DNA," says Dominic Walker, the Bishop of Monmouth. "I think it's very difficult when people are claiming something's a miracle when perhaps it's a criminal activity."

But Archbishop Deya - whose group has more than 36,000 members in Britain and which is building a £1 million church in south London - told the BBC that there was no explanation for the miracle babies. He said he wasn't surprised their DNA wasn't the same as their parents, as they came from God.

The Archbishop said he's seen post-menopausal women give birth, including a 56-year-old who has had 13 miracle babies over the past three years.

"The 'miracle babies' which are happening now in our ministry is beyond a human imagination, but it's not something that ... I can explain because they are of God and things of God cannot be explained by human beings," Archbishop Deya said.

"Unless somebody's blind, how can you say the woman is not pregnant?" he added. "We witness they are pregnant, they went to Kenya and they came with the babies, so we believe that where the tummy was big the baby has come out."

The ministry has 14 branches in Britain, as well as locations in Africa, Asia, and other parts of Europe, and Archbishop Deya has attracted the attention of authorities in the past.

Investigation

He was investigated by the Church of England after conducting exorcisms on young children, but no action was taken.

The Royal College of Obstetrics and Gynaecology echoes the Church of England's concerns, saying it's possible vulnerable people are being taken advantage of.

"Childless couples were very vulnerable and desperate that they would believe virtually anything," says consultant Patrick O'Brien, noting that medical evidence proved the women were not pregnant before the births.

"These are not miracle children, but someone else's children, and the authorities should find out whose."

But Charles Nyeko says the birth of his son, Daniel, is simply a gift from God.

"Now we have the proof - a miracle from God," he tells the programme. "We don't understand how it has happened. We are just grateful that it has. We have the son we so longed for and I am convinced that it is a miracle, a miracle I never thought I'd see in my lifetime."

But the couple is unsure that they'll be able to bring Daniel to Britain, as the Kenyan authorities are insisting on DNA testing to determine if he is the biological child of the Nyekos.

Along with the Metropolitan Police, the United Nations Children's Fund told Face the Facts that it will be launching an investigation into child exploitation and baby trafficking in Kenya in an attempt to get to the bottom of how babies born in Africa are being passed to foreign mothers.

"We want to know exactly what's happening," says Anna Miracow, a UN child protection officer. "What are the reasons, if it's happening, how are they being taken out, where are the loopholes?"

DNA bank project in Cincinnati could reunite adoptees, birth parents

2004-08-13T22:34:00.000-04:00

AP Wire | 08/13/2004 | DNA bank project in Cincinnati could reunite adoptees, birth parents

Posted on Fri, Aug. 13, 2004

DNA bank project in Cincinnati could reunite adoptees, birth parents

MITCH STACY

Associated Press

SARASOTA, Fla. - Linda Hammer remembers a caller to her radio show who told of spending $100,000 for medical tests trying to find the cause of a young daughter's mysterious illness.

The child eventually died, without doctors ever figuring out exactly what happened. It wasn't until two years later - when the girl's mother found her own birth mother after years of searching - that she learned of a rare genetic disorder in her biological family, a problem that likely killed her child.

If she had found her birth mother earlier, the woman lamented, her daughter might have been saved.

Hammer, a Sarasota resident who has helped thousands of adoptees find birth families through her people-finding Web site, weekly radio show and newspaper column, loves the warm, fuzzy side of those reunions. But she's also seen how profoundly they can impact lives.

Now the former private investigator is hoping to incorporate science into the effort with an ambitious new project: a DNA bank in Cincinnati where samples from adoptees and birth parents who are searching for one another can be added to a central database to be compared with other samples for possible matches.

The theory is that the genetic fingerprint could be the only way to reunite adoptees with birth parents in the many cases where names were changed, birth certificates were altered or babies were bought on the black market. Sometimes no paper trail existed, and adoption records remain closed in all but a handful of states.

"This isn't really about search and reunions, it's about knowing who you are," said the 50-year-old Hammer, co-founder of the nonprofit Touched by Adoption advocacy group, based in Walton, Ky. "A lot of this stuff is life or death."

Hammer, who is not an adoptee herself, wants the service to be free to everyone, which means her organization is starting to raise money for the project, to be based at DNA Diagnostic Center Inc. in Cincinnati. An initial fund-raising dinner is set for next month and others are planned. It's expected to cost more than $1 million to set up the project and bank the first 5,000 samples.

Adoptees and birth parents who want to participate will be sent a kit with cotton swabs to take three samples from the inside of their cheeks, said Jim Hanigan, a spokesman for DNA Diagnostic Center. The swabs are then mailed back to the lab, where 16 DNA markers will be extracted for comparison with other samples in the database.

While many labs offer DNA banking, paternity testing and various other services, Hanigan believes this is the first time the technology has been used to assist people searching for family members. DNA Diagnostic Center is one of the country's largest labs, handling about 75 percent of all DNA paternity testing.

"The opportunities for DNA testing are widening all the time, and it's more than the normal forensics things you see on TV," Hanigan said. "And this is a great one."

The National Council for Adoption, based in Alexandria, Va., estimates that 5 million to 6 million people in the United States have been adopted. Lee Allen, spokesman for the nonprofit advocacy group, said many states already have registries for adoptees and birth parents who are looking for each other, which is basically the low-tech method of doing what Hammer wants to do with DNA.

The organization welcomes any effort that will help bring together adoptees and birth parents who want to find each other, Allen said, but he questioned whether the cost will warrant the relatively few reunions such a project is likely to produce.

"I think it could be helpful," Allen said. "I think the difficulty will be promoting it and getting this kind of registry well known."

Hammer is undeterred by the cost and the legwork involved. She's trying to promote the project among health care professionals and others who realize the importance of people knowing their medical histories, and hopes to spread the word with public service announcements for TV and radio.

She even envisions being able to reunite babies who were airlifted out of Vietnam by the thousands in the 1970s with birth parents still in that country.

"They have a right to know who they are," she said. "I know who I am, and if I didn't I'd be jumping up and down and making ugly faces about it. It's just not fair."

Honduras prosecutor seeks arrest of US adoption rep

2004-08-13T22:19:00.000-04:00

Printed from kgw.com

Honduras prosecutor seeks arrest of US adoption rep.
12:48 PM PDT on Friday, August 13, 2004

Associated Press

TEGUCIGALPA, Honduras -- Prosecutors on Friday asked courts to order the arrest of a U.S. adoption organization's local representative, accusing her of participating in illegal adoptions.

The government's special prosecutor for children, Victor Fernandez, said a trial in the case had begun on Thursday in the northern city of San Pedro Sula.

The allegations involve Tatyana Tsybulskaya, who officials say was the local representative for Orphans Overseas, a Portland, Oregon, based organization that says it operates in at least six other countries.

First Lady Aguas Ocana last month accused the organization of offering at least six Honduran children for adoption for US$11,550, despite the fact it lacked an operating permit.

She said she was offended that it offered price estimates, as if the children were for sale.

Fernandez said that Tsybulskaya left the country on July 23. He said she has passports from Kazakhstan, Romania and Russia, "so we have solicited the help of the International Police," or Interpol.

The government in February rejected the organization's request to operate in the country, but as of July, it still listed some Honduran children on its internet site.

On Friday, the site read: "Our Honduras Program is currently in the development stage. Check back for updates."

A recording at the organization's telephone number said the office was closed on Friday.

Last month, a representative for Orphans Overseas said the agency was still seeking permission to carry out adoptions in Honduras.

"We're certainly not offering any child for sale or even adoption over the Internet," said Tad Kincaid, the director of operations.

But the site at the time carried photographs of smiling Honduran children and said, "We have several children available that are in the 2-5 age range."

The organization founded by Jordi Kincaid, herself an adoptee, describes itself as a Christian adoption agency that is "committed to helping orphan children worldwide."

It said it had helped in more than 600 adoptions and listed operations in China, Kazakhstan, Kenya, Russia, Ukraine, and Vietnam.

Anti-Adoption Activist

2004-08-06T22:50:00.000-04:00

Newhouse A1

Anti-adoption" sounds ludicrous. Who could oppose placing an unwanted child into a loving home?

An entire movement, it turns out -- fighting with a primal passion to expose what activists insist is adoption's darker side: The lifelong trauma of women coerced into surrendering babies. Adoptees denied their heritage. And, they say, a billion-dollar industry that focuses more on money than youngsters' welfare.

Some leave careers to write letters, track legislation, research articles and books. They work in anti-adoption nonprofits. They educate "vulnerable mothers" and provide baby supplies and financial resources.

The activists insist a mother should first be helped to keep her child. In cases in which that is impossible (say, the woman is incapacitated), a family member or other caring adult should have guardianship. The child should be aware of that relationship. Money should not be exchanged.

Adoption supporters say that logic is flawed.

"The fundamental problem with anti-adoption folks is their lack of recognition that parenting is vastly more than conceiving and giving birth," said Thomas Atwood, president and CEO of the National Council for Adoption in Alexandria, Va. "It takes the full-time, selfless commitment of a mature person. If a woman is not ready to parent, her most loving and responsible decision may be to make an adoption plan."

Psychotherapist Joe Soll, himself an adoptee and longtime anti-adoption activist, disagreed.

"There will always be babies who need new homes," Soll said from his Congers, N.Y., office. "But why must names be changed, records sealed, why must children lose contact with their family?"

Soll has spent 20 years counseling single, pregnant women for free. Thousands of anti-adoption activists share his zeal.

"I've been in children's welfare a long time and I've never seen this level of volatility in other issues. Feelings run very high," said Madelyn Freundlich, attorney and author of the book "The Impact of Adoption on Members of the Triad" (triad being mother, baby and adoptive couple).

Anti-adoption groups confront a public puzzled by their cause. Some 94 percent of adults polled either held "very favorable" or "somewhat favorable" opinions of adoption in a 2002 national survey by the Evan B. Donaldson Adoption Institute, a nonprofit focusing on adoption policy and practices.

But people don't know the whole truth, said Jessica DelBalzo, who runs Adoption: Legalized Lies, from Flemington, N.J. It's an Internet-based support and activism nonprofit with about 250 members worldwide.

"Offering up fake parents is not serving the best interest of a child," DelBalzo said.

Adoption, she said, centers on money, not the child.

Revenue statistics are elusive. Adoptions are handled at the state level through thousands of licensed and unlicensed public and private agencies, as well as independent attorneys; fees vary widely. Marketdata Enterprises Inc., a research firm in Tampa, Fla., estimated in a 2000 national report that adoption services are "a $1.4 billion business."

Nor is the number of adoptions systematically compiled. Estimates from agencies and experts range from 60,000 to 138,000 in the United States each year.

DelBalzo, 24, mother of a 21-month-old, was first troubled by adoption after writing a paper in high school. Her research since has put her in contact with hundreds of mothers who surrendered children, "and 99.9 percent," she said, "did so without full information." The majority later regretted it, DelBalzo said.

She said women report feeling pressured to do the "best thing" for their children and aren't advised of other options: seeking financial assistance (WIC, welfare, food stamps), asking a relative or father of the baby for help, aborting the pregnancy. (There are both anti-abortion and abortion-rights advocates within the movement, DelBalzo added.)

Some anti-adoption activists surrendered children during the so-called "baby scoop era," the 1940s to 1970s. Then, pregnant, unmarried women often were sent to "maternity homes" run by social workers or religious groups.

Karen Wilson Buterbaugh became pregnant as a high-school senior in 1966 in Annandale, Va. Her parents sent her to a maternity home in Washington, D.C. She gave birth and her daughter was taken 10 days later.

"We're trying to educate society about what occurred then and what's happening now with adoption," said Buterbaugh, of Richmond, Va. "It benefits those who adopt, and people with money and power backed by religious groups and the adoption industry."

Buterbaugh, 56, is co-founder of MORE (Mothers for Open Records Everywhere) and OriginsUSA, working toward a federal inquiry into "illegal, unethical and improper adoption practices."

Activists like Buterbaugh "are raising legitimate issues in regard to the way adoption is provided," said Freundlich, policy director for Children's Rights Inc., a legal advocacy and child-welfare watchdog group in New York City. "There are ethical concerns we should all be thinking about."

Carnegie Mellon University cultural anthropologist Judith Schachter first encountered the anti-adoption movement in the 1980s.

"I thought they were extremely logical," said Schachter, whose books, written as Judith Modell, include "A Sealed and Secret Kinship: The Culture of Policies and Practices in American Adoption."

"We've been a wee bit too cavalier to think that a birth mother will give up a baby and forget," said Schachter, an adoptive mother. "We're becoming more focused on the birth parent, and that's been a real and important change."

But that's not enough, said Soll, the psychotherapist. He heads Adoption Crossroads, a nonprofit with 475 adoption search and support groups worldwide.

"I've never seen anyone more scared and vulnerable than a pregnant woman without resources," he said. The problem is, "if they ask for help, more than likely they are advised to give up their child."

Activist Laurie Frisch, 42, of Marion, Iowa, sees herself as "protecting the rights of mothers and natural families -- fathers, grandparents and siblings -- as well as adoptees." A longtime avionics systems engineer, she resigned her job in January to tackle the issue full time.

Due to family pressures, Frisch unwillingly surrendered two babies in her 20s. "I was never advised of alternatives, never advised of legalities -- such as whether there was a revocation period -- never offered help," she said. "I was told I would soon `get over it' and `feel good about it."'

She never did.

She became active in several groups after noticing newspaper classified ads "soliciting mothers to separate their children from them and not telling them anything about the reality."

That reality, she said, can be long-term emotional pain. "The whole thing is so psychologically complex."

For instance, adoptees often are told their mothers made a loving choice to give them a better life. "But a lot of adoptees have said they feel like a nine-month abortion, which is exactly the opposite of what their mothers wanted," Frisch said.

Susan Caughman, editor and publisher of Adoptive Families Magazine, in New York City, said anti-adoption activists "represent the extreme manifestation of the belief that blood trumps everything else. And there is something to that, what can you say? It is good to know who your people are."

However, Caughman added, "There are larger social welfare issues at work: medical insurance, minimum wage, education. Mothers are giving up children they can't afford, and that's a dreadful concept.

"In a just world, there'd probably be no adoption."

August 5, 2004

430 Adoptees meet in Seoul

2004-08-04T17:16:00.000-04:00

INSIDE JoongAng Daily

430 adoptees meet in Seoul

About 430 ethnic Korean adoptees from 15 countries gathered in Seoul for a convention that began yesterday with a reception.
The Korean Adoptee Gathering 2004 is the third of its kind, but this is the first time for the convention to be held in Korea.
Organizers said the attendees come from the United States, Europe, Canada and Australia. They also said their gathering here in Seoul was aimed at establishing relationships between Korea and their adoptive countries.
Before attending the welcoming reception yesterday, participants talked about how South Korea can improve its policy on overseas adoption.
“In Belgium and Luxembourg, there is no place to learn Korean language and culture,” said Denis Van Cauwelaert, a 35-year-old bank employee. “When my friends asked me what I know about Korea, I often could not find anything to tell them.” Mr. Cauwelaert was adopted by a Belgium family when he was 6.
He said international adoptees have a thirst for information about Korea. There is no way to learn about their motherland when they begin thinking about their roots and identity, he said.
Most of the adoptees attending the gathering told the JoongAng Ilbo that they would love to see a Korea center in their countries. They also provided suggestions for the Korean government and society.
“I hope there is a DNA database for the people who want to find their biological families,” said Hope Payne, a 27-year-old from Oregon who was adopted when she was 6. She said she had encountered many difficulties in finding her biological parents.
Another adoptee also pointed out the Korean government’s lack of support in their search for their families. “Public servants had no interest and showed no support,” he said.
Kathy Sacco, a 33-year-old living in Connecticut, said Korea should require adoptive parents to visit the country to pick up the baby. Such travel is mandatory in China and Russia, and Ms. Sacco said the adoptive parent, by conducting such travel, can not only bring the baby home, but also understand Korea’s culture through such a visit.
The official opening ceremony of the Korean Adoptee Gathering 2004 will be held today. The convention runs through Sunday.

by Park Hyun-young, Ser Myo-ja

Northwest Indiana News: nwitimes.com - News: Born of confusion

2004-08-02T09:54:00.000-04:00

Northwest Indiana News: nwitimes.com - News: Born of confusion

This story ran on nwitimes.com on Sunday, August 1, 2004 12:04 AM CDT

Born of confusion

BY JERRY DAVICH
Times Staff Writer
She was just a kid, hiding her belly's bulge for nearly all nine months.

Mom found out.

Adoption ordered -- that's how it worked back then.

Blindfolded during delivery, the teen mother held her baby just once before it was whisked from her arms.

The years peeled away. A phone call out of the blue. Mother? Daughter? They cried.

They met, hugged, played catch-up, celebrated holidays and even a wedding.

Happily ever after?

Not so fast.

Another woman, another call out of the blue. Same state, same county, same hospital, same day, same yearning for a birth mother.

"Hello? I think I'm your daughter."

Once upon a time ...

Our story begins at 1:23 p.m. May 31, 1972.

The scene: Porter Memorial Hospital in Valparaiso.

Blindfolded and strapped to a bed, 15-year-old Terry Grishka, of East Gary, gives birth to a baby girl. Six pounds, 4 ounces, 21 inches.

That evening, a nurse laid the baby in the girl's arms. Minutes later, another took her away. That was the last Terry saw of her first-born child.

She named her anyway -- Kimbra.

Terry grew up, married, had other children, lived life in the region. She never forgot Kimbra, remembering each birthday, each imagined milestone -- first steps, first words, adolescence, high school proms, everything.

"I celebrated in silence," Terry said, touching her heart, "here inside."

In 1990, when Kimbra turned 18, Terry contacted the state registrar's office to make her whereabouts known. If Kimbra ever wanted to find her birth mother, Terry made it easy as pie.

A decade went by, nothing.

Terry, whose last name is now Fisher and lives in Calumet City, bought a computer to surf through sites that matched birth mothers and children. Still nothing.

Until a phone call Nov. 28, 2001, from Rockford, Ill.

Kimbra is now Jill Gazouski.

On a late-night whim, Jill entered her birth information into an Internet search engine. Ten minutes later a match popped up. Twelve hours later she spoke to the woman who gave her life.

Terry and Jill met in Rockford -- a dreamlike, tearful Oprah moment.

They knew they were blood.

"We just knew," Terry said.

"Instantly," Jill said.

Since that November day -- a new milestone for Terry -- she and Jill have shared memories and families.

They also discovered that Jill's birth father was a firefighter and so is her husband, and that her father-in-law is a cop and so is Terry's husband, now Jill's stepdad.

Jill, who has three young boys, even attended the wedding of Terry's second daughter. Her name is, you guessed it, Kimbra. A new blended family was born.

But wait ...

On June 4 of this year, Terry got another call.

The woman on the other end said, according to state records, she is Terry's birth daughter, also born at Porter Memorial on May 31, 1972, and given up for adoption.

Stacie Brown, of DeMotte, first learned the news May 17 after requesting her birth records from the state -- the same information given to her adoptive parents 32 years earlier. After all those years of keeping an empty space in her heart, Stacie waited two weeks to make the call.

"I was a big chicken," said Stacie, who has a 2-year-old girl and is pregnant.

Terry, now 47 and a grandmother of seven, met with Stacie. Terry shared the news about Jill, the physical resemblance, the Internet match, the 2001 reunion.

Stacie shared her birth records. On paper, she is Terry's daughter. Period.

Terry, confused, arranged for Stacie to meet her possible birth father this past Father's Day.

All this prompted Jill to arrange for DNA testing of her and Terry.

"It was the only way to know for sure," Jill said.

They all lived ...

The $550 DNA test came back July 12. The probability of maternity is 99.9997 percent positive. Deep down, Jill and Terry knew it to be true.

Stacie, who didn't want to take such a test, was devastated: "I felt like my world was ripped out from beneath me. I'm still numb."

Much like Terry felt on that lonely night of May 31, 1972, when these three lives not only diverged down separate paths but, by accident, became entangled forever.

On that day, both girls were born and given up for adoption. Unfortunately, the baby and the birth parents records given to the adoptive parents didn't match. That's what led Stacie to Terry, even though she's not Stacie's birth mother.

"Either the babies or the paperwork were switched at birth," said Jill, who has not sought an official copy of her birth records.

"I think it was the babies," said Stacie, who hasn't entirely ruled out a blood connection with Terry. "I still see a physical resemblance."

In the state's eyes, Stacie has found her birth mother, and she is on her own to get things straightened out.

Problem is, Porter Memorial, now known as Porter Valparaiso Hospital Campus, destroys all birth records by law after 15 years. Both the county and state said they are not responsible for any mishandling.

The only thing Stacie can do, according to Indiana State Registrar Barbara Stultz, is go to court to correct the problem. The state already has 18 filing cabinets full of would-be adoptive matches and the process is still done by hand, Stultz said.

Stacie, Jill and Terry feel that's not fair.

"We didn't make the mistake," Terry said.

"And now I'll never be able to find my birth mother," Stacie said.

"How many other adopted kids and birth mothers has this happened to?" asked Terry, who plans on keeping both women, blood relation or not, in her family.

Jerry Davich can be reached at jdavich@nwitimes.com or (219) 933-3376.

PRESS RELEASE: The Adoptee Experience - California Comic Provides Adoption Insight

2004-08-02T00:18:00.000-04:00

PRESS RELEASE: The Adoptee Experience - California Comic Provides Adoption Insight

The Adoptee Experience - California Comic Provides Adoption Insight
"A child needs two married parents." "Your child will be better off." "A baby adopted at birth won’t know the difference." These are the words many young pregnant mothers hear from well-meaning friends, relatives and especially from those who profit from adoption. But are they right?

Van Nuys, CA(PRWEB) July 28, 2004 -- Born in 1965 in a maternity home in Richmond, VA to a 17-year-old unmarried mother, Tricia Shore received a luxury kittens get, but many human babies who are being adopted-out today are denied: She got to stay with her real mother for four weeks before taken away by a social worker. However, four weeks is not long enough for a kitten much less a human child.

Now married with two children of her own and expecting a third, Shore has come a long way. She has a Bachelor of Arts in Speech Communication, a Bachelor of Science in Mathematics, and a Master of Arts on English and Creative Writing. A few nights a week she enjoys being 'Comic Mom,' a comedienne. She has performances coming up at the Ice House in Pasedena, the Berubian Second Stage Theatre in Anaheim, the Aztec Hotel in Monrovia as well as the Laugh Factory Showcase in Hollywood. To find her writings or her next show, go to her website at www.comicmom.com.

Shore is still affected by her adoptive experience and the loss of her mother at such a tender age. She tries to convey what the adoption experience is like to those of us who've never been there: "I missed knowing about myself, knowing my roots, so much that I would not have a child myself until I knew that I could tell my child who they were. I want people to know that having a young mom is better than losing your mom. People who can't have children have no right to separate a child from her mother, family and heritage."

Being reunited with her mother and father as an adult has helped Shore. She learned more about herself, got to see someone who looked like her, and also to see where many of her talents come from. But as with most adoptees, the reunion is a bittersweet experience. In Shore's case, her mother was extremely happy to see her again, yet she was so affected by the cruel shaming she experienced as an unmarried mother in the 60's that she could not bring herself to introduce her daughter to other people. When Shore made the mistake of referring to herself as her mother's daughter to a co-worker of her mother, her mother reverted into her shame and broke off the relationship.

In adoption reunion, rejection like this is horribly traumatic. But with so little realistic counseling available here in the United States for moms and adoptees to process their feelings in advance, it's not unusual for misunderstandings to occur. Reunion is not the simple event as shown on television. Many moms and adoptees find they need to pull back at times, sometimes for years, to process their intense emotions before communicating again. This loss of contact after so many years apart may be devastating for the other person and for siblings and others as well.

Shore sometimes works through her feelings with her comedy act. "In my comedy I talk about being a mom and right now about being pregnant. If I feel really comfortable with a crowd, which I usually am, then I'll do my adoption material. In comedy, the audience will laugh if you're honest; If you're not, they won't." Asked what's funny about adoption, Shore says: "Good comedy is often based on tragedy. Comedy's a great way to get the message across to people about what adoption is really like."

Speaking as an adoptee she says: "I always believed I should feel good about being adopted. I was often told how lucky I was and how special it was that I was 'chosen.' The people who said that to me weren’t adoptees so I wish I'd asked them 'Really? So I guess it's too bad you stayed with your parents.' Maybe I should ask the next parent who tells me such nonsense: 'Hey, well, which child are you going to give away?' or 'Maybe my sons would have a better life being brought up by some celebrity'. I just imagine my son coming to me around age 25 and saying, ' Mom, I could have gone to private schools and Harvard if you'd given me away.' That's the bizarre logic used to promote adoption, as if someone would trade their mom for some luxury!"

"Don't get me wrong. We adoptees all love our adopters. But no one can replace parents, ever. Parents are made when a child is conceived." Shore now refers to her adopters by their first names: Ann and Beauford. "The main problem which adoptees face is the pretense of family. If adopters did not pretend to be parents and if they honored a child's parents as such, many issues with adoption would resolve themselves. I like to think some of us have integrity about parenthood. This stuff about having 'two moms' and 'two dads' is not only incorrect, it's insulting to real parents. Please don't use the ugly 'birth' words. My mother is my mother is my mother. She is not my breeder; She is my mother."

"Every time I think about adoption, or someone tells me about someone who is adopting, I think of that mother and baby being separated. It's horrible." Like many adoptees, Shore is considering incorporating her mother's maiden name into her own name to regain that part of her identity. "My children's names are already true family names with the middle names taken from my mother and father," she says.

Shore is a mom's mom, a woman who puts motherhood ahead of her other endeavors. "As a society we try all kinds of ways to separate moms and children, from daycare and bottle feeding to adoption. Especially during the first year, a child needs his or her mother more than ever. Sometimes a mom needs to work, but so often moms throw their kids in day care all day and don't breastfeed because the so-called experts say it’s okay. Then kids grow up disconnected from mothers and home and who knows how many problems that causes."

But don't get the idea that Shore’s self-esteem is derived from motherhood alone. Her favorite quote is from Carl Jung: "Nothing has a stronger influence psychologically on their environment, and especially on their children, than the unlived lives of parents." A writer and a comedienne, Shore is an example of a mom who embraces life.

Contact Information:

Laurie Frisch
(319) 373-7479
laurie_frisch@hotmail.com

Reunion story

2004-08-02T00:09:00.000-04:00

Welcome to Gazette.com

FINALLY A FAMILY

By ANDREA BROWN - THE GAZETTE

Ruth Pate finally got to hold her twin sons for the first time — 45 years after they were born. Thorsten and Claus Shultz came from Germany to meet their mom, who until recently had no idea they existed.

The Falcon woman was told the twins were stillborn at birth in 1959 in her native Germany.

In fact, they were adopted by a German family.

“I was in a German home for bad girls,” said Pate, who then was Ruth Wuttke, an unwed teen.

She went on with her life. She married an American serviceman, had two children, Mary Anne and Donald Jr., and moved to Colorado Springs in 1971.

Pate never questioned the lie the doctors and her father told about her twins’ deaths, nor did she hide her past from her family.

She said she “always got melancholy in May,” the twins’ birth month.

She was startled when a Berlin missing persons agency contacted her last year with the news the twins were looking for her.

Mother and sons since have been in constant contact, sharing words and pictures, but that doesn’t lessen the emotion shared face-to-face.

The twins arrived Saturday in Colorado Springs, accompanied by a German TV crew shooting a five-part documentary about happy reunions.

Even members of the film crew teared up as the sons hugged the woman they had all but given up on finding.

“I had to cry. It is the most unbelievable case,” said German producer Marian Kiss.

The TV crew is staying a few more days. The twins are staying three weeks.

“I’m still numb, but it’s nice,” Pate said Sunday in her Falcon living room. “Once in awhile I pinch them, and they kind of look at me.”

She patted Claus on the head. In response, he covered her hand with his and smiled. Two of Pate’s little dogs sprawled on his lap as if he had lived there for years.

Pate’s husband, Donald Sr., joked about becoming a father again — at 83.

“We are all happy these two guys are here,” he said.

For Thorsten and Claus, the search started 35 years ago after finding a birth certificate while riffling through their parents’ stuff.

“When we snoop, we find this paper and wonder what this name Ruth Wuttke means,” Thorsten said.

When confronted, their parents admitted the boys were adopted. “Before, they tell us nothing about it,” Thorsten said.

They grew up in the same region where Pate lived.

Pate said her pregnancy was deemed a disgrace, and her father made her go to the “bad girls” home, even though she was 18, worked as a cook and lived on her own. She planned to keep her babies, not put them up for adoption.

She had no reason for doubt when told the twins were stillborn.

“I never held them, I never saw them. I was very sick. I was not allowed to get out of bed. Stillborn means dead. I had to deal with that. All I remember was signing a whole bunch of papers,” she said.

“I had to think of two male names, Robert and Roberto. It was supposed to be for the funeral, for their records.”

She turns to Claus, a bachelor motorcycle mechanic who speaks little English.

“He looks like a Bob to me.”

To Thorsten: “He kind of looks like a Rob.”

That is as far as it goes. She honors their given names.

“The parents who adopted them gave them that name, and I respect that. Thorsten is the god of thunder, and Claus, well, we can think of Santa Claus,” she said. “I wouldn’t take that away from them. I am grateful they didn’t get separated. I am glad they were nosy.”

Thorsten, a coffee factory worker, led the search to find Pate, but gave up after years of dead ends.

His wife, Suzanne, encouraged him to try one more time with a Berlin agency she saw on TV.

Pate dismissed it as a crank call when a woman from the agency said her son was looking for her.

“I said, ‘My son is here. I don’t have a son in Germany.’ She said, ‘Yes you do.’ I said, ‘Look lady, I don’t have anybody in Germany. A long time ago I had twins, but they were stillborn. Stillborn means deceased.’ I was angry that somebody was trying to pull a stunt on me.”

The caller persisted. “She said, ‘He has been looking for you for a long, long time.’ ”

Minutes later, the phone rang again. It was Thorsten.

“He said, ‘I know you are my mom.’ I just went to pieces.”

She was skeptical until he sent her the birth certificate listing her maiden name.

Nothing can replace the 45 years they were apart.

All she has of their childhoods is a stack of black and white pictures, showing boys in school uniforms, smiling shyly for the camera.

Sure, she feels cheated, but she tries to focus on the future.

“I have a life with them now,” she said.

Copyright 2004, The Gazette, a division of Freedom Colorado Information. All rights reserved

Black Market Adoption

2004-08-01T23:57:00.000-04:00

Desert Dispatch - Full Story

The Desert Dispatch is a daily newspaper serving the communities of Barstow, Dagget, Fort Irwin, Hinkley, Lenwood, Newberry Springs and Yermo

Sunday, July 25, 2004

Sold out: A.V. woman learns she might have been bought just after birth
By EMILY BERG/Staff Writer

APPLE VALLEY -- Diana Lancaster was 40 years old when she realized she wasn't who she thought she was.

The parents who raised her -- and who she had cared for in their old age until they died -- were probably not her real parents.

Her birth parents apparently sold her to William and Eileane Lancaster or possibly traded her for a washing machine just hours after she was born.

"My whole life was based on lies and major deceptions," said Lancaster, 46.

The Apple Valley woman doesn't want to find her birth parents, especially if they were capable of selling a baby.

Her adoptive mother, Eileane, was a nurse in Orange County in the late 1950s who used her position to sell at least three babies for a poor family in need of cash.

Eileane Lancaster died in 1987 and William Lancaster died in 1985. At the time, Diana Lancaster didn't know about the family's secrets.

It turns out that Eileane Lancaster had been cashing fraudulent Social Security checks for years, and the resulting investigation uncovered many secrets.

Social Security investigators were told by a niece that Diana Lancaster was "abducted from the hospital." Diana later heard about it from her lawyer. And two aunts confirmed the story.

"Supposedly, in exchange for me, my mother and dad were supposed to purchase them a washing machine," Diana said.

Diana Lancaster's birth certificate appears typical at first glance. It has her name, birth date of June 30, 1958, and her adoptive parents' names.

But the ages for her parents are wrong, Diana said.

It lists her father as 39 and her mother as 38. But her mother was born in 1911 and would have been about 47 years old at the time. Her father was eight years younger than her mother, Diana said.

It also doesn't list a hospital or doctor. She was told she was born in Garden Grove at Palm Harbor, which is now Garden Grove Medical Center. The hospital only kept birth records for 11 year, Diana said.

Diana has five older half brothers, but one died about six years ago. The oldest, David Lancaster, was about 16 when their parents brought Diana home.

David Lancaster never told his sister about her sudden appearance into the family until she asked, and he said there was no sign that Eileane Lancaster had been pregnant before they brought Diana home.

"We were just naive enough. We took it for granted she was our sister," he said.

Another brother, Jerry Lancaster, was about 11 years old when Diana entered the family. He tipped Diana off to the fact that Eileane Lancaster had been in the baby-selling business. He also referred her to an article in the Orange County Register printed in 2002.

The Register article described how Eileane Lancaster had sold Rose Morelock and her twin brother for $1,500 in 1959. The brother, Monty, died in 1983. Rose had recently been reunited with her birth mother.

According to the story, Eileane Lancaster had even tried to extort an additional $10,000 for the children.

Another brother, Jerry Lancaster isn't sure that his step-mother was selling babies. Abortion was illegal at the time, and she may have been placing babies for women who couldn't afford to keep them, he said.

"As far as I'm concerned, (Diana) is my sister and I don't care who her parents are," he said.

Friends who have watched Diana try to work out her life history said she's grown up a lot because of all that has happened.

Donna Brotherton met Diana in 1977. She described Diana's upbringing as sheltered, which made her naive. Now, she said, Diana is in a good place and doing well for herself and her 9-year-old son.

"She's a survivor -- a naive survivor -- but a survivor," she said.

Judy Gonzalez has known Diana for about 10 years, and she's seen her grow up a lot in that time.

"She's a very strong and determined person," Gonzalez said.

Six years have passed since Diana first learned that she was probably sold as a baby.

She has dealt with a lot of confusion, hurt and disappointment, but now she said she often laughs about the absurdity of it all.

"It sounds like something some Hollywood writers made up out of their head, but it's not -- it's my life," she said.

She's grown tired of crying about it.

Now, she can laugh at it all.

"I don't know of anyone else who was traded for an appliance," she said.

Emily Berg can be reached at emily_berg@link.freedom.com or 955-5358.

Albuquerque Tribune Online

2004-08-01T23:47:00.000-04:00

Albuquerque Tribune Online

July 24, 2004
Faux father Barry Smiley out of jail, back in city

By Joline Gutierrez Krueger
Tribune Reporter

An Albuquerque man was expected back home today after serving nearly two years in a New York prison for kidnapping a baby and raising him as his own son more than 20 years ago.

Barry Smiley, whose bizarre saga of hoodwinked fatherhood made national news when the story and the secret broke in 2001, was released Friday morning from the Mid-Orange Correctional Facility in Warwick, N.Y.

His wife, Judi Smiley, waited back at the family's West Side home for his return later that day.

"I want to just let him come home in peace," she said.

She declined to elaborate on her husband's homecoming or whether Matthew Propp, the son they were both accused of absconding with in 1979, was there to accompany him on the journey home.

"I'm not well," she said about her reluctance to speak. "I'm not up to it."

New York newspapers have reported that Propp, 25, kept in close contact with the imprisoned Smiley, postponing his planned wedding until September so that both Smileys can be there.

"I'm glad this is finally coming to an end," Propp said in an interview with the New York Post earlier this week. "My dad's coming back."

Propp could not be reached for comment in Albuquerque.

Smiley, 58, served 23 months of a two- to six-year prison term after pleading guilty in June 2002 to second-degree kidnapping.

Judi Smiley, 57, served six months in jail at Rikers Island in New York after her guilty plea to first-degree custodial interference. She returned to Albuquerque in September 2002.

Both Smileys had faced lengthy prison sentences had they been convicted of first-degree kidnapping, the original charge against both.

They agreed to plead guilty to lesser charges in exchange for shorter incarceration terms in light of their poor medical conditions.

Judi Smiley has rheumatoid arthritis and uses a wheelchair to ease the burden on her two replaced knees. Barry Smiley deals with maladies related to longtime diabetes, including kidney failure, eye problems and numbness in his feet.

The Smileys, who sold jewelry on the Santa Fe Plaza before their arrests, also agreed to pay $100,000 restitution to Propp's biological father, Anthony Russini, a Long Island, N.Y., plumber, who had spent thousands of dollars in search of his son.

New York newspapers report that after a brief relationship with his biological family, Propp opted to sever ties.

"He's as dead to the family as if he passed away," Russini's attorney, Fred McGovern, told the Post earlier this week. "That's how pathetic it is."

Propp's biological mother and Russini's ex-wife, Deborah Gardner, did not involve herself in the Smiley case except to publicly praise the Smileys for how they raised Propp and to ask that they receive lenient sentences.

The Smileys have said the adoption was arranged by Gardner's father when she was an unwed teen mother shortly after the birth on March 8, 1979.

But in 1980, a New York judge ruled the adoption illegal because Gardner had not given her consent and Russini was never notified.

The Smileys, who had already moved to Albuquerque because of New Mexico's more liberal adoption policies, assumed the names Bennett and Mary Propp and began a new life, saying they had to protect Matthew, a sickly child, from an uncaring judicial system and an inexperienced mother who hadn't even swallowed a prenatal pill.

"We felt that what we did was the right thing to do," Judi Smiley said in a 2002 interview with The Tribune. "It would have been irresponsible and dangerous for us not to."

Amador Ledger Dispatch

2004-08-01T23:42:00.000-04:00

Amador Ledger Dispatch

Son put up for adoption returns to mother, siblings 39 years later

Friday, July 23, 2004

By Jim Reece (jreece@ledger-dispatch.com)

From left, Kelly Abbott, Rich Mills, Veronica Bonilla and Paul Abbott were a family celebrating being together for the first time this Sunday at the St. George Hotel in Volcano. Bonilla, of Pioneer gave up Rich for adoption in 1964. Last year, Kelly paid an investigator to find him and Saturday, mother and son were reunited after 39 years, while the siblings met for the first time.
Photo by: Jim Reece

Kelly Abbott, left, of Castro Valley, looks through a family photo album with her brother, Rich Mills and his wife, Jayne of Evansville, Ind.
Photo by: Jim Reece
A mega-celebration ensued Sunday at the St. George Hotel in Volcano when a Pioneer woman celebrated a reunion with her son whom she gave up for adoption in 1964.

Veronica Bonilla of Pioneer met her son, Richard Mills and his wife Jayne, from Indiana on Saturday, bringing them together for the first time since she put him up for adoption when she was 21. Mills also for the first time met his brother Paul Abbott, 32, and sister Kelly Abbott, 29, the latter whose dogged determination made the moment and the weekend possible. He also met his step-father Bob Bonilla and step-siblings, Maria, Tom and Jonathan Bonilla.

The meeting took place Saturday at San Jose Airport, followed by the celebration at the St. George Hotel, also marking Veronica’s retirement as a special education teacher, with 80 friends and family attending.

“It’s the best retirement I could have ever, ever, ever had. And now my circle is complete,” said Veronica, bursting into tears, evoking tears to the eyes of Kelly as well.

Giving her newborn son up for adoption was a hard decision for Veronica, who was planning to marry Carl Abbott, her baby’s father and Kelly and Paul’s father, Kelly said.

But Kelly’s parents decided the timing was not right for a baby and put him, Baby Boy Krajewski as he was listed on birth papers, up for adoption.

Veronica and Carl married the following year and had two more children, Paul and Kelly. About 1991, 27 years after Baby Boy Krajewski was adopted, he was living in Evansville, Indiana, with his own large family. His name, she would later learn, was Richard D. Mills. His younger sister, Kelly Abbott, somehow detected that she had an older brother because her middle brother was not named after her father, unlike other family members, named after their fathers.

Veronica finally relented, telling Kelly about her brother being put up for adoption, Kelly said. This was about the time the Internet was growing and developing, so she used that to search for him, without much luck, she said.

“My daughter’s been looking for him for 10 years,” said Veronica, earlier this month. “It’s been near impossible because we had nothing.”

Rich, however, knew he was adopted, having been told, as was his brother, Rusty Mills. Their parents told them when they were 12 or 13 years old that they were adopted.

“We knew who they were. We never looked them up,” Rich said.

“We just didn’t think about it. We’ve got a huge family as it is,” Rich said. “If I knew I had a brother and sister, it would have been different.”

Kelly, meanwhile, was frustrated.

Then she then found a company, Third Eye Investigations of Florida, which told her they could find him for $350.

“I got my tax refund so I was like, hey, it’s time to do this,” she said and hired them last March. A day later, they called to tell her they found her brother.

Rich, a machinist and punch press operator at Silgan Closures in Evansville, Indiana, said it came out of the blue for him.

“I was watching a movie one night and she called,” Rich said, nodding to Kelly. He said she recited his birth information and location and gave their parents’ names, but Rich kept telling her he would have to talk to his parents, who had the paperwork which he could check against her info. He said he wanted to have some proof for her as well. This came from the papers, his mother’s maiden name, given to him as Baby Boy Krajewski.

Rich’s wife, Jayne Mills, said he was excited when he got off the phone, saying it was a girl, saying she thought was his sister. Kelly said he was equally excited when he called her back with the news that he might be her brother.

Kelly said photos exchanged via e-mail made her cry and “flash back” to when she was 7, looking at a photo of their father, with whom Veronica split when Kelly was 2.

Kelly showed Rich and Jayne’s wedding picture and more current photos of her father, indicating the noticeable familial resemblance.

Rich also noted the siblings shared an inclination toward mathematics and science, which Kelly teaches in a high school in Castro Valley, while Paul is in the biotech industry.

Rich said his brother, Rusty, noted the similarities too, when seeing a picture of Kelly and saying, “now I know what you would look like as a girl.”

Veronica and husband Bob Bonilla, of Pioneer back on July 7 were readying to sell their Castro Valley house, so to move to Pioneer, while planning the party and reunion at the St. George Hotel in Volcano. They sold it last week and are now Pioneer residents. And Sunday, 80 friends and family came to the party, including Bob’s parents from Albuquerque and Veronica’s brother from Nebraska.

“It’s quite something,” said her brother, Andy Krajewski, an engineer from Smithfield, Neb., who said he did not even know about Rich being put up for adoption until last year.

Rich said his adopted mother, Leigh Valley, had urged him to come to meet his family and have a good time, though she asked to not see the photographs when he returned, after seeing the early pictures Kelly sent.

Kelly said she did not want to hurt Rich’s adopted family, though she realized “mom stepped back and let me push this,” for which she was grateful. She also was pleased with how Rich was fitting in.

“I’m just overwhelmed at how receptive he’s been,” Kelly said.

After the party, with music by the Fender Benders of Ione, the family planned to go to Yosemite, spend time in San Francisco, see the Lion King and go hiking.

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allAfrica.com: Kenya: Girl, 4, Seeks Review of Act

2004-08-01T23:39:00.000-04:00

allAfrica.com: Kenya: Girl, 4, Seeks Review of Act

Girl, 4, Seeks Review of Act

The East African Standard (Nairobi)
NEWS
July 23, 2004
Posted to the web July 23, 2004

By Standard Reporter
Nairobi

A four-year-old child has filed a suit seeking to strike out a section of the Children's Act, saying it is discriminatory.

The girl, through her mother, wants a constitutional court to strike out Section 24 (3) of the Children's Act, saying it discriminates against children born out of wedlock. She has further enjoined the Federation of Women Lawyers (Fida) in the suit.

According to the said section, if a child's father and mother are not married at the time of the child's birth, the mother assumes parental responsibility. The father can only acquire parental responsibility if he applies to the court. Alternatively, the father and mother may strike "a parental responsibility agreement' providing for the father to take responsibility for the child.

Two years ago, in what was seen as a landmark suit, the same girl sued the Attorney-General. Her mother says she conceived in the year 2000 through a relationship with a man with whom she was cohabiting in Nairobi.

Through lawyer Tom Kajwang', she told a two-judge bench that there should be no discrimination against women.

She says she is speaking for thousands of females who have been discriminated against because of their disadvantage, orientation or sex.

The woman says that at the time she conceived, she had a thriving business selling clothes while the alleged father was employed at SDV Transami Kenya Limited as a mechanic.

The man's attitude changed and her efforts to seek financial assistance from him were thwarted by guards at the SDV Transami Ltd offices.

The child is challenging various sections of the Act, which she says are inconsistent with the Constitution of Kenya in respect to protection of fundamental rights and freedoms of an individual.

The case was adjourned to September 21.

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Copyright © 2004 The East African Standard. All rights reserved. Distributed by AllAfrica Global Media (allAfrica.com).
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Sperm donor loses appeal on child support

2004-08-01T23:36:00.000-04:00

Sperm donor loses appeal on child support

Sperm donor loses appeal on child support
Friday, July 23, 2004
BY REGGIE SHEFFIELD
Of The Patriot-News
The state Superior Court yesterday ruled that a man must pay child support to a woman who conceived twin boys with his sperm through in vitro fertilization.

The opinion upholds a Dauphin County Court order filed in 2002.

Joel L. McKiernan now must pay up to $1,500 each month, but he argued that an oral agreement he had with Ivonne V. Ferguson protected him from any payments, according to court papers.

When McKiernan agreed to be a sperm donor for Ferguson -- a co-worker with whom he had had an affair between 1991 and 1993 -- she promised she would never seek support payments from him, court documents said. But in 1999, she began seeking support.

Superior Court Judge Patrick R. Tamilia wrote that the oral contract between McKiernan and Ferguson is essentially worthless, because the rights for child support belong to the twins, not to either parent.

"The oral agreement between the parties that [McKiernan] would donate his sperm in exchange for being released from any obligation for any child conceived, on its face, constitutes a valid contract," Tamilia wrote in a six-page decision.

"Based on legal, equitable and moral principles, however, it is not enforceable," Tamilia wrote.

Efforts to reach Ferguson and McKiernan were unsuccessful.

According to the court papers, Ferguson persuaded McKiernan to donate his sperm for in vitro fertilization in 1993, when their relationship waned. Ferguson was married, but her husband filed for divorce on the day she underwent the IVF procedure, court papers said.

On Aug. 25, 1994, Ferguson gave birth to the twins. She listed her ex-husband, not McKiernan, as the biological father on the birth certificate, according to court papers.

McKiernan had little contact with Ferguson during this time, other than visiting her in the hospital when she was in labor and spending an afternoon with her and the boys two years later, court documents said.

Elizabeth Stone, a family law attorney, said that Pennsylvania law very clearly holds that the right to child support belongs to the children and not the parents.

"Even though the child is a minor, he cannot in any way extend that right to the parent," Stone said. "So even a contract can be immediately invalidated by running to the court and filing for support."

With in vitro fertilization, a sperm cell and egg cell are combined outside the woman's body, and the resulting embryo is placed in her uterus. About 1 million children have been conceived through in vitro fertilization, which was first done in 1978.

The issue of child support and in vitro fertilization has found its way into court in other jurisdictions.

REGGIE SHEFFIELD: 255-8170 or rsheffield@patriot-news.com

Copyright 2004 PennLive.com. All Rights Reserved.

ZIMBABWE: Reform of birth registration law urged - OCHA IRIN

2004-08-01T23:32:00.000-04:00

ZIMBABWE: Reform of birth registration law urged - OCHA IRIN

UN Office for the Coordination of Humanitarian Affairs
Monday 2 August 2004

ZIMBABWE: Reform of birth registration law urged

© WFP

The lack of a birth certificates increases a child's vulnerability

HARARE, 23 Jul 2004 (IRIN) - Child rights campaigners are looking to amend current Zimbabwean legislation to make birth registration easier, as nearly a third of all children do not possess a birth certificate, restricting their access to public services.

Zimbabwe has ratified the Convention of the African Child, which emphases a child's right to a name and nationality, and makes registration immediately after birth compulsory. But neither the Zimbabwean constitution nor the Births and Deaths Registration (BDR) Act expressly state that a child has the right to be registered.

An estimated 50 percent of Zimbabwean orphans and 95 percent of children living in institutions do not have birth certificates. Without proof of identity, rights activists say, children find it hard to access health and education services, and are prone to child labour, sexual abuse and early marriage.

The Child Protection Society (CPS) wants to reduce the number of unregistered children from the current 30 percent to five percent of total births by the end of 2005. They are pushing for amendments to the BDR Act, arguing that the legislation currently makes for an over-centralised registration system, with overly stringent requirements causing vulnerable children to remain unregistered.

"We were working on the assumption of 30 percent unregistered children, but this figure may be even higher because of the continuing AIDS crisis and the impact of the land redistribution programme, which displaced many children," CPS advocacy manager, Busi Bhebhe, told IRIN.

Following a number of consultative workshops with interested parties in 2003, the CPS presented the Ministry of Home Affairs with a series of proposed amendments to the act. The ministry "was taking the proposals seriously", said Bhebhe, and had promised to facilitate a meeting with the CPS and the Office of the Registrar General before presenting the proposals to parliament.

Among the reforms urged by the CPS is automatic registration at birth. Currently, the mother receives a birth record for later registration of her child, but the card is issued only if she produces her identity card and her maternity fees are fully paid up.

"Collection of maternity fees for the health ministry is a separate issue, and should not be allowed to interfere with the home ministry's mandate of facilitating birth registration," said Bhebhe.

The CPS has proposed a special arrangement allowing children aged over 15 to facilitate their own registration "so that in the future, there will be fewer adults without identity cards and fewer mums unable to register their children immediately after birth," noted Bhebhe.

Under the BDR act, children "born out of wedlock" are registered in the mother's name, unless the father is physically present at registration and has agreed to the inclusion of his name on the birth certificate. Included in the definititon of children born out of wedlock are those from unregistered customary law marriages, where lobola or bride price was paid for the mother but there is no documentation to prove it.

According to Bhebhe, 80 percent of Zimbabweans are married this way, and many of their children remain unregistered because the provision makes for paternity wrangles. Rural women, in particular, are not keen to register children under their own names as, culturally, the children belong to the father.

President Robert Mugabe, in a speech opening parliament last week, said the harmonisation of marriage laws - putting customary union on a par with other legally recognised marriages - would be one of the priorities of his government. In the interim, however, the CPS has proposed that the BDR Act be amended to allow maintenance orders to be used as proof of paternity, and for fathers to be allowed to register their children born "out of wedlock".

[ENDS]

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DenverPost.com - LOCAL NEWS

2004-08-01T23:28:00.000-04:00

DenverPost.com - LOCAL NEWS

The Denver Post

Adoption expert doubts "safe-haven" law
By Chuck Plunkett
Denver Post Staff Writer

Friday, July 23, 2004 -

Denver should think twice about promoting "safe-haven" laws in trying to prevent the abandonment of babies, an adoption expert said Thursday at a meeting of The Denver Forum.

"I think as a social signal to tell girls it's OK to abandon your children - it's not a safe message," said Adam Pertman, a former Boston Globe reporter who was nominated for a Pulitzer Prize for his work in reporting on adoption issues.

Pertman's book "Adoption Nation: How the Adoption Revolution is Transforming America," is highly regarded in the field. He serves as the executive director of the Evan B. Donaldson Adoption Institute in New York.

Pertman discussed the "safe-haven" question before his appearance at the Oxford Hotel in Denver. His comments come in the wake of a string of abandoned babies in Denver. Three newborns were found dead or near dead within two weeks in late June and early July. The babies were left in a trash bin in an alley, a trash can in a bar restroom and a shed.

The incidents attracted extra attention because Colorado passed a law three years ago that allows women to turn over babies within 72 hours of birth to hospital or Fire Department officials without penalty.

The sponsor of the law, Rep. Gayle Berry, R-Grand Junction, says nine babies have been saved as a result.

Pertman counters that money spent advertising the availability of havens and the haven law should be spent to bolster the work of health care officials, schoolteachers and counselors and others to advocate personal responsibility and the promotion of safe adoptive measures.

Promoting havens, Pertman says, has the effect of further stigmatizing young women already in denial or depression over an unwanted pregnancy.

Reached by phone, Berry said the programs Pertman supports already exist, and yet the phenomenon of abandoned babies continues to occur.

She says the haven law provides a last chance. "It's important for them to know that they have other options," Berry said.

The issue is part of a broader societal problem concerning perceptions of adoption, Pertman said.

The secrecy surrounding adoption built a wall that has been slow in coming down, Pertman said. He said haven laws bolster old prejudices.

Staff writer Chuck Plunkett can be reached at cplunkett@denverpost.com or 303-820- 1333.

Herald Sun: Teen mother's dog killed baby [22jul04]

2004-08-01T23:15:00.000-04:00

Herald Sun: Teen mother's dog killed baby [22jul04]

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Print this page
Teen mother's dog killed baby
By Adam Morton
22jul04

THE death of a baby girl killed by her teenage mother's dog moments after birth was a tragedy without blame, a coroner found today.

Coroner Phil Byrne found the 14-year-old mother did not know she was pregnant before giving birth in the backyard of her Ballarat home early on May 11 last year.
The girl told police she felt the dog, Rex, grab something from between her legs as she lay on the ground suffering severe stomach pain, the Victorian Coroner's Court heard.

She said she later picked up an unidentified "wet item" and left it in a disused fridge.

Mr Byrne rejected the girl's claim she still did not know she had given birth when taken to hospital later in the day, finding she suffered dog bites on her arms trying to protect her child.

"Having said that, I accept she was in all likelihood utterly confused, highly stressed and physically drained by the birthing experience," he said.

"Whether she was drifting in and out of consciousness, as is claimed, is undetermined. I accept however, she was clearly severely anaemic and quite unwell.

"The death represents a tragedy that almost defies description."

A post-mortem exam found the baby, posthumously named Caitlyn, died from about 25 injuries consistent with dog bites.

A police search of the house found a placenta hidden in the girl's bedroom and Caitlyn's body in the fridge.

The court heard the girl's family and friends had no idea she had fallen pregnant after a month-long sexual relationship with a 15-year-old boy the previous year.

Mr Byrne criticised the girl's father, who left her unsupervised with her 11-year-old brother three nights a week while driving trucks interstate.

The court heard he refused to take her to hospital in the hours before the birth, twice telling her to go to sleep after finding her rocking on the floor in pain.

"It is difficult to resist the temptation to attribute some blame and responsibility to (the father) for the demise of this hapless child, but ... that is not my role," Mr Byrne said.

privacy © Herald and Weekly Times

NCM > The Point Of Seoul Return

2004-08-01T23:10:00.000-04:00

NCM > The Point Of Seoul Return

The Point Of Seoul Return
KoreAm , News Report,
Anna M. Park, Jul 21, 2004

Within the last five years, Korean Americans are getting a distinctly warmer reception in their motherland. They have given us a special moniker, gyopo, for ethnic Koreans who have emigrated abroad, which distinguishes us from other foreigners. They’ve granted us our own special visa status. Koreans have realized that the gyopo possesses a special power— not only do we speak perfect English, but we also help bridge the gap between U.S. and Korean business cultures.

So it’s no wonder that more and more gyopos are returning to Korea.

While companies in the United States were laying off people by the hundreds, companies in Korea couldn’t find enough native English speakers. Again and again, the abundance of business and career opportunities is adduced by gyopos as a reason for giving up residence — at least temporarily — in some of the world’s most powerful nations for life in this tiny but up-and-coming peninsular country.

With native English teachers in high demand and locals willing to pay upwards of $50 an hour for private lessons (which sometimes consists of simply conversing in English over dinner, coffee or drinks or, in some extreme cases, while traveling), it’s no wonder that many a gyopo have been lured by the call of the Korean won.

On the flip side, young professionals seem to make less in Korea than they did back home. But don’t start feeling sorry for them yet — because of their Western education and language ability, gyopos are often given greater responsibilities and opportunities in a shorter period of time, enabling them to rise through the ranks that much faster. And because of the plethora of perks (free or cheap housing, free meals and company-sponsored entertainment), it seems that these gyopos have more disposable income than they did in the States. Entertainment and food is relatively inexpensive in Korea (unless you’re buying foreign luxury goods, in which case it is often double the price), so gyopos find it easier to live it up.

Of course, it’s not all about the bling bling. Economic opportunities are often an incidental perk for gyopos seeking to reconnect with their heritage.

For Nicole Sheppard, a 26-year-old Korean American adoptee who grew up in Minneapolis, coming to Korea and gaining fluency in the Korean language was a means not just to further career goals, but to communicate with her birth mother. After finding her biological family in 1997 — something she says she needed to do to “move forward and become who I am supposed to become” — Sheppard returned to Korea in 2002 to help other Korean adoptees find their birth families.

Helen Sung , 33, resigned from her position as an attorney at a lucrative firm in San Francisco and left for Korea without a job, intending to stay in a relative’s home just outside of Seoul. She didn’t know what she would do to sustain herself, only that she was compelled by the need to know. “[I don’t know] where we come from. I don’t know the stories. I want to understand my roots.” Within a week of her arrival, she landed a job as a travel writer for an English-language magazine published by an all-Korean staff. The position requires her to research and write about Korean culture, everyday life in Seoul and travel destinations throughout the country. This couldn’t have been a more ideal fit for Sung, who plans to fully immerse herself in the culture and explore her “Korean-ness.”

Indeed, for many gyopos, it’s the people that make working in Korea so singularly invaluable. “Everyone’s a family,” said a 40-something-year-old president of a European bank. “It’s like living in your own home. In the States, I felt like I was living in someone else’s home.”

While some may argue that the Korean concept of jeong (loosely translating to “emotional attachment” or “bond”) is now a mere shell of its former self, others find the ethos alive and well. “There’s something palpably different about the relationships between co-workers in Korea,” observed one Microsoft employee in his late-20s who recently visited friends living in Korea. “They have a closeness I could never have with my colleagues in the States.”

RUDE AWAKENING

While Korea may have become more palatable to expatriates, it is still essentially a Confucian-based society with deep roots in paternalism and hierarchy that the old guard tenaciously clings to with a vengeance. This is a country where résumés require not only your age, but a recent photograph; job descriptions for administrative positions often specify the gender (female) and age (usually 23-24) of the ideal candidate; and one of the initial questions employers ask prospective female employees is their marital status. It is not uncommon for the women to be expected to get coffee in the workplace, if not for the boss, then for guests. Male receptionists are unheard of; in fact, one prestigious “membership club” in Seoul regularly holds “Secretaries and CEOs” parties in which older male executives mingle with young, attractive women in their early 20s hoping to land an admin position with a top company. Needless to say, the 52 percent of Korean women who work still receive less pay and are without certain benefits enjoyed by their male counterparts.

One of the things Sung has some trepidation about in contemporary Korean society is the sexism; she is concerned about how Koreans will react to her as a 30-something-year-old female attorney who is still single. Indeed, in almost every social interaction with Koreans (from taxi drivers to co-workers to new friends), one of the first exchanges is of one’s age and marital status. And if a female is over 25 and not married, they either ask you why not or tell you to hurry up and get married. “There’s that pressure of having to do something at certain times of your life, having to fit into a mold,” said Sheppard. “You do a lot of explaining of who and what you are.”

How does all this translate for gyopo women working in Korea? According to Bialas, “A lot of the local males I know are somewhat intimidated by [gyopo women] because they know full well that any gyopo worth her stuff won’t take any chauvinistic sh-t.”

Indeed, while Korean women have to fight a long history of second-class citizenry in one of the most Confucian countries in the world, gyopo women are viewed almost as different creatures, as their “foreignness” and fluent English belie their Korean features. “I feel like I have a ‘free card’ because I’m a gyopo,” said Sheppard.

DUDE AWAKENING

Of course, the male domination inherent in the culture makes it difficult for our gyopo men as well. Difficult? Yes — difficult to resist. There is a dark side to too much money, too much power, too much of too much, and its name is wangjabyeong.

Literally translated to “Prince Disease,” wangjabyeong refers to a highly contagious, difficult-to-cure malady that afflicts a good number of male gyopos in Korea. Also known in Latin as “Thinkus Oneis Godus,” the term originally appeared in the Korean lexicon to describe a condition of egotism that usually arises in the following context: an ordinary Korean American man, most likely with some academic or professional success, moves to Korea to work for, say, a law firm or multinational company. He is given plush accommodations in a land-scarce city with a population of over 11 million, wined and dined by employers and clients on a daily basis, and paid handsomely, allowing for no shortage of disposable income. Add to that a local business culture where after-hours consists mainly of post-work “office meetings” (read: drinking), client dinners (read: drinking and song rooms), and business development (read: drinking and room salons). Toss all that into a society obsessed with marriage, money and beautiful women (and not necessarily in that order), and these gyopo men instantly rise to the top of the country’s most eligible bachelors list.

Myth? Hyperbole? Hysteria? Perhaps. But after the exploits of one Peter Chung were documented in a nefarious e-mail-heard-’round-the-world, Korean American men have become hyper-sensitive. (Chung, an investment banker who sent a colorfully worded e-mail to friends in the United States about “every hot chick in Korea” and his need for more condoms, was fired by his employer, the Carlyle Group.) Case in point: not a single Korean American male gyopo interviewed for this article would allow their name or picture to be printed. It was hard enough to get gyopo men to talk about living in Korea. And the saddest part of all is that many of these men are decent, honorable guys without a single symptom of the malady. But they’ve learned their lesson, however vicariously, and the damage to the reputation of Korean American men in Korea has been done.

In fact, when asked, many gyopo men will admit that wangjabyeong does exist. However, as John (not his real name), a 28-year-old consultant, rationalized, “It’s not that these guys are bad guys. It’s the society that makes them that way. You can’t help yourself in the beginning.”

Of course, there are many men who don’t fall prey to wangjabyeong. And even if they do to some degree, there seems to be a hard line between those who adopt the wangjabyeong as a lifestyle and those who recognize the dangers of getting mired therein. For those who end up staying in Korea longer than two years, the polarization is more evident. These long-termers are usually well established in their careers, involved in a serious relationship or married, and invested in the country, whether professionally or emotionally. These gyopos either end up conforming to the fast-paced life of the well-heeled and single (one 30-something gyopo in the Internet industry admitted that much of his values and beliefs about women changed in the two years he had been in Seoul and now calls his thinking “warped”), or somehow manage to avoid that licentious recipe for alcohol, women and money. While one hopes that the former is more the exception than the rule, many do agree that it would be difficult for gyopos to give up going from the “lower 20 percent of the social caste system [in the States] to the top 5 percent [in Korea] overnight.”

On the other hand, those Korean Americans who have yet to reach the two-year mark are wary about staying in Korea for too long. Remaining marketable in the United States is a big factor cited by a number of 20-something professionals. This is especially true for gyopos who come to Korea to teach English, whether to “ride out the storm” of recession back in the States, or to take a break from a dissatisfying career path.

But perhaps more importantly, short-term gyopos witness the toll that Korean culture takes on their intimate relationships. “After a while, the assembly line of girls becomes meaningless,” said John. “The gyopo men want to find someone they can relate to — a gyopo woman — but the pool is limited. And they can’t leave Korea because they’re so professionally invested now.”

“I’ve seen so many gyopos in Korea who, in their moments of least resistance, will admit that they are profoundly lonely,” said a 33-year-old attorney who lived in Seoul for 18 months. “They are constantly surrounded by people at bars or restaurants or wherever, but they are lonely.”

Indeed, one is hard pressed to find a gyopo who feels that monogamy and fidelity among the moneyed and powerful in Korea is more the rule than the exception. “I think it’s just the environment,” said the attorney. “While at first you may experience some cognitive dissonance with your American self, you eventually get used to it and conform to society.”

TRUE AWAKENING

Like anything, living in Korea as a gyopo obviously has its ups and downs. It’s safe, it’s financially rewarding and it’s even ego boosting. But it also has horrendous traffic, old-school, male-dominated business practices and, as Bialas put it, the torture of “watching colleagues and clients slowly drink themselves to liver cirrhosis because it’s a necessary part of attaining business objectives.” So what continues to draw Korean Americans to this tiny country?

“For me,” explained Sheppard, “it’s the direct experience of living, breathing and feeling the heartbeat of the country.”

And whatever their motivations, goals or attitudes, gyopos in Korea are doing just that.

more at http://www.koreamjournal.com/FeatureStories1.asp

AP Wire | 07/21/2004 | Woman accused of taking infant loses bid for reduced bail

2004-08-01T23:05:00.000-04:00

AP Wire | 07/21/2004 | Woman accused of taking infant loses bid for reduced bail

Posted on Wed, Jul. 21, 2004

Woman accused of taking infant loses bid for reduced bail

Associated Press

PHILADELPHIA - A judge on Wednesday refused to lower bail for a woman charged with kidnapping an infant during a 1997 house fire and raising the girl as her own for six years.

Judge Carolyn Engel Temin refused to lower Carolyn Correa's $1 million bail, telling attorneys that bail is "very high" but "justified."

Assistant District Attorney Leslie Gomez had argued that Correa could flee prosecution or present a danger to the child if she were released on bail.

"What we have in this case is an extremely unusual history of deceit and manipulation going back six years," Gomez told Temin.

Earlier this month, Temin dismissed arson charges against Correa because experts could not conclusively say the blaze in the city's Feltonville section was deliberately set. The judge upheld a kidnapping charge.

Shortly after the 1997 fire, investigators concluded that 10-day-old Delimar Vera had died. This year, however, a DNA test revealed Delimar was alive and had been raised with the name of Aaliyah by Correa, of Willingboro, N.J.

The birth mother, Luzaida Cuevas, has said she instantly recognized the child as her daughter at a Jan. 24 birthday party given by a sister of Delimar's father. To obtain possible DNA evidence, Cuevas said she used the ruse of gum in the child's hair to remove several strands and place them in a napkin.

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Haaretz - Israel News - Not all children of mixed marriages are created equal

2004-08-01T22:56:00.000-04:00

Haaretz - Israel News - Not all children of mixed marriages are created equal

w w w . h a a r e t z . c o m

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Last update - 01:57 22/07/2004
Not all children of mixed marriages are created equal
The biological child of an inter-married couple is recognized as an Israeli citizen by virtue of the Law of Return. An adopted child, however, receives a temporary permit to stay, and when that expires, is likely to be expelled.
By Relly Sa'ar

B., 20, lives in Jerusalem with her adoptive father, A., 72, and her biological mother, G., 52. B. says her adoptive father met her mother around 10 years ago and the two married in Ukraine when she was 13. According to her, "Since the marriage, I've had no contact with my biological father and my adoptive father has become my real father." A. adopted B. in Ukraine when she was 14 years old. A petition that attorney Reut Michaeli of the Israel Religious Action Center submitted to the High Court of Justice on behalf of B. states that in 1998 the Ukrainian court recognized her adoption and amended her birth certificate to feature her adoptive father's name.

Five years ago, A. immigrated to Israel and received Israeli citizenship; his wife and adoptive daughter joined him. The Interior Ministry recorded B. in A.'s identity card as his adopted daughter, but according to the petition, she was not recognized as his daughter for the purpose of the Law of Return and was issued a temporary permit to stay that must be renewed every year. After being here for around two years, the family went to the Interior Ministry with a request to recognize B.'s right to immigrant status. According to the petition, the Interior Ministry has yet to respond to B.'s request, despite the five reminders sent to it regarding this matter.

One year ago, she was even summoned to a hearing at the Jerusalem Population Registry office and shortly afterward, her temporary permit to stay was extended, but Interior Ministry officials refused to address the repeated requests to arrange the status of a citizen for her. "Because I have no status in this country, I can't enlist in the IDF," says B., "and I feel different from all my friends." Attorney Michaeli argues the Interior Ministry's handling of the matter is illegal: "After the Interior Ministry recorded B. as A.'s daughter in the Population Registry, it in effect recognized the validity of the adoption and now cannot refrain from granting her civil rights."

According to international law, the State of Israel must recognize court rulings issued abroad as valid in Israel. Therefore, for example, when someone from the CIS who immigrates here under the Law of Return marries a non-Jewish woman and adopts her children from her previous marriage in a court in his native country, prior to immigrating to Israel, the Interior Ministry must recognize the adoption.

The Population Registry Law stipulates: "If a child has been adopted, the adopters shall be recorded as the parents in the registry and any document required by this law, and the adopted child shall be recorded as the child of his adopters and under the name issued to him in the adoption order." However, the Interior Ministry's recognition of the adoption of a non-Jewish child abroad may entitle him or her to an Israeli identity card and the status of a new immigrant. Perhaps for that reason, the Interior Ministry is in no hurry to recognize the civil rights of children adopted abroad by those eligible under the Law of Return who have married non-Jewish wives. Consequently, an absurd situation has been created: In Israel, the biological child of the mixed-marriage family is recognized as an Israeli citizen by virtue of the Law of Return, whereas the adopted child receives a temporary permit to stay and when that expires, is likely to be expelled.

The Interior Ministry even came up with its own term - "fresh adoption" - used by the ministry and its representatives at foreign missions, which in practice rescinds the civil rights these children are entitled to in Israel. To correct this discrimination, the Israel Religious Action Center has in recent weeks submitted three appeals to the High Court of Justice with the goal of obtaining the status of Israeli citizen and new immigrant for children adopted in the CIS by immigrants eligible under the Law of Return.

Armed with documents

The status of V., 23, is more complicated. When she was nine, her biological parents were killed in a road accident in Ukraine. Because her grandmother suffered from severe health problems, she was sent to the home of her parents' friends, N. and K., where she lived but was not legally adopted; this was done in order not to deprive the grandmother of the government allowance she received for raising the orphan.

Six years ago, the family sought to immigrate to Israel. The petition to the High Court of Justice, submitted by attorney Nicole Maor of the Israel Religious Action Center, notes that the Israeli consulate explained to them that prior to their immigration to Israel they must legally adopt V. In 1999, the Ukrainian court approved the adoption, when V. was 17 years old.

They came to Israel armed with numerous documents but not including the Ukrainian adoption order. The Ukrainian child welfare department confirmed that G. lived in the home of her adoptive family. The school she attended confirmed in a document that N. and K. were the acting guardians of the girl throughout her school years. Friends of the family also testified in signed affidavits, that N. and K. essentially fulfilled the role of parents for the girl. But despite the slew of documents, the Israeli consulate in Ukraine advised the family, according to the petition that "since this a matter of a fresh adoption, done in the year prior to immigration to Israel, the family must immigrate to Israel with their biological child and from Israel invite V. to join them."

Four years ago, V. arrived at her family's home in Petah Tikva and her adoptive parents began their efforts to formalize her civil status. In 2002, the Interior Ministry informed V. they were rejecting her request for citizenship. According to the petition, the Population Registry's legal adviser, attorney Galit Lavi, explained the refusal: "The adoption was done a short time before she turned 18 and the members of the family did not prove they had raised her since the death of her parents." V. is in the country illegally since her tourist visa was not renewed and she is likely to be expelled. "My heart is torn," says her adoptive mother. "My son served in the army and is enrolled to study at Tel Aviv University. V. is my daughter. I've been raising her for 14 years. She is smart and should go to university just like my son. What kind of country is this that throws out my daughter just because she's not Jewish?"

The third petition was submitted in the matter of another family also coping with a refusal to grant Israeli citizenship. "The adoption law does not relate to adoptions done abroad," explains attorney Reut Michaeli, "and that creates a lacuna. Therefore, according to international law, the State of Israel must recognize the legal validity of rulings issued by legal authorities abroad."

Closing the loophole

To close the loophole, the state has proposed a two-section amendment to the adoption law. The first section, drafted by the Justice Ministry, stipulates that in cases where the Interior Ministry "is concerned" that the foreign adoption order "is contrary to the child's best interest or to public regulations," it can, after consulting with a welfare official, make the recording of the adopted child as the daughter or son of the adoptive parent contingent on the acquisition of a ruling from the Family Affairs Court in Israel. "The legal term `public regulations'," explains attorney Nicole Maor, "covers cases where the adoption abroad clashes with the values of the State of Israel, i.e., may affect the religious, moral and social values of the state."

According to the second section - added in recent weeks by the Interior Ministry - "whoever is authorized to decide on a request for granting status in Israel to a child (i.e. the Population Registry), can, by virtue of the adoption done prior to the submission of the request (for obtaining Israeli citizenship), refuse the request if convinced the adoption was done specifically for the purpose of obtaining the desired status in Israel."

Maor believes the Interior Ministry is acting illegally by refusing to recognize foreign adoptions and now, via an amendment to the adoption law, is trying to legitimize its illegal actions.

In a Knesset Labor and Welfare Committee discussion of the proposed amendment to the adoption law around a month ago, prior to its first reading, the Justice Ministry representative, attorney Moriah Bakshi, cited an example of the types of foreign adoptions that prompted the amendments in the law. She told of two different petitions submitted to the High Court of Justice on behalf of two Israeli citizens, Arab women, who had married Palestinians who were residents of the Palestinian Authority and who afterward sought to adopt their children. "Clearly the object of the adoption was to obtain a legal status in Israel," she said. Attorney Michaeli, who was at the discussion, raised this issue: "It turns out that a family that wants to come to Israel must, while still abroad, start legal proceedings in an Israeli court, that will prove its eligibility to reside in Israel." The Justice Ministry representative responded: "What can I do? Do I have to automatically approve a candidate?"

The Justice Ministry position on all matters relating to adoptions done abroad is likely explained by the words of the supervisor of inter-country adoptions at the Labor Ministry, Nehama Tal, who said at the Knesset discussion: "In Eastern Europe, it's easy to do all sorts of adoptions and arrive with all sorts of documents, but it turns out that it never happened." Chair of the Knesset committee, MK Shaul Yahalom, backed up her remarks: "Just as you say, Mrs. Tal, across the Soviet Union, forgery is at the height of popularity."

The Interior Ministry has no data on the number of children adopted in the CIS by those eligible under the Law of Return whose requests for Israeli citizenship have been rejected. The ministry said in response: "According to the law for enforcing foreign rulings and Supreme Court rulings, a foreign ruling is not valid unless it was absorbed according to Israeli law. A foreign adoption order that was not issued in accordance with the Israeli adoption law cannot be recognized and the government-proposed amendment aims to sort out this matter. However, when reviewing a request to obtain legal status for a child adopted abroad, sometimes close to his immigration, the Interior Ministry will review the family circumstances as a whole. If the adoption order indeed reflects a family structure that has existed over time, the child will receive a legal status in Israel by virtue of that. On the other hand, if there is concern that the adoption was done solely for the purpose of obtaining a legal status in Israel, the registry clerk does not record the adoption and the matter is referred to the courts."

The Globe and Mail

2004-08-01T18:49:00.000-04:00

The Globe and Mail

Natives abandon child-custody battle

By CHRISTIE BLATCHFORD

UPDATED AT 6:47 PM EDT Tuesday, Jul 20, 2004

One of the most significant child custody battles in Canadian history is all but over, and the two little girls at the centre of it now appear destined to remain with the foster families who want to adopt them.

The youngsters, the progeny of a native mother and a white father, have been in limbo for 18 months as their birth mother's home band, the Squamish Nation of British Columbia, supported by the Hamilton Children's Aid Society, fought to have them returned to the band.

But yesterday, band lawyer Ian Mang told Mr. Justice George Czutrin of the Ontario Superior Court that the band was abruptly abandoning its application to have the girls moved across the country.

The unexpected move came just three days after the band learned that its proposed caregiver for the girls has moved in with her boyfriend and away from the Squamish reserve in North Vancouver.

The woman is 52 and, like the two sets of foster parents, is white. As with all the other parties in the case, she can't be named to protect the identity of the children.

She had been touted by the band and the CAS as the best answer for the youngsters. She already acts as a paid foster parent for the girls' little brother, and until the recent move to a B.C. town east of Vancouver, lived near, though not on, the Squamish reserve.

The band's "plan of care," as it's called, emphasized that by living with the woman, the girls could "grow up Squamish" and be fully exposed to their native heritage.

But the plan came under withering attack by lawyers for the two foster families, Jeffery Wilson and Yolanta Lewis, over the past few months. In cross-examination of witness after witness, including the proposed caregiver, the lawyers revealed that the real focus of the plan wasn't the best interests of the children, but rather the flexing of the band's cultural muscle.

By withdrawing its application, the band effectively now supports the immediate adoption of the little girls, who are almost 4 and 5, by the two sets of foster parents. So does the Ontario Office of the Children's Lawyer, whose lawyer, Catherine Bellinger, has been among the most articulate advocates in court for the girls.

Inexplicably, the only holdout -- and the lone party now stalling the adoption -- is the Hamilton CAS, the very agency that originally had supported the foster parents, only belatedly switching horses when the band at the last hour announced it opposed the adoption, and apparently then only out of fear the agency could be accused of "cultural arrogance."

CAS lawyer David Feliciant told Judge Czutrin yesterday the agency would not agree to the adoption before a home study is done on both sets of foster parents, but that he would not be calling any evidence.

Mr. Wilson then tried to call CAS executive director Dominic Verticchio, but he is on vacation in Italy, and Cecilia Taylor, the agency's former director of children's services, who was also unavailable. The two CAS staff in court, the communications director and the current director of children's services, were then summoned to the witness box. But neither one had any firsthand knowledge of the case and had never even met the two little girls.

In the end, a furious Mr. Wilson renewed his application for the judge to make a summary judgment -- basically, to end the evidence-hearing part of the proceeding and order the adoption to go forward.

Judge Czutrin reserved his decision, but promised to release it by week's end.

At bottom, the developments yesterday mean the CAS is, if not supporting a plan that no longer exists, at the least is still stubbornly resisting one that the Squamish band now endorses.

Also before Judge Czutrin now is an agreement that would see the two families and band representatives hold a "healing circle" to restore the dignity of the various battling parties and ensure that the Squamish have regular access visits to the youngsters.

Yesterday, the youngest girl's would-be adoptive mother tearfully embraced one of the band's hereditary chiefs, who has been in court monitoring the case.

For the foster parents, the case has seen their lives put on hold and subjected to enormous stress. One couple, who have had the youngest girl with them since she was eight days old, have been brought to the brink of financial ruin, forced to sell their house and move to a smaller one.

The other couple, in whose care the older girl has by all accounts done wonderfully, told The Globe and Mail yesterday they could not have continued had Mr. Wilson not been working for them for free.

"I don't know why he's stuck around," the foster mother said gratefully, "because we sure haven't been paying him. He's [Mr. Wilson] like 10 men rolled up in one little guy. He's like Superman, and there's no kryptonite for him."

The foster father, meanwhile, said yesterday that the court battle "has consumed us, to some extent, as much as we tried to keep it from the kids. And as much as we had a lot of people cheerleading for us, it just seemed like it wasn't going to happen. It seemed like we weren't going to be able to do it." His voice thickening with emotion, he said, "We look at this little girl, and how much she's blossomed -- she's what kept us going forward."

Both sets of foster parents are ordinary working people who had no idea when they first began that they were up against not only the enormous bureaucracy of the agency, but also a wealthy native band -- its settlement with the federal government was worth $92.5-million -- whose leaders testified that they would spend basically whatever it took to get the little girls. At one point, the band even proposed flying the judge and the lawyers to visit the reserve.

The children's natural parents, both of whom have severe alcohol and drug problems, never showed up at the court proceeding that, in the fall of 2001, saw the older girl declared a Crown ward. Neither did any representative from the band. The girl had been seized by the Hamilton CAS about a year earlier, when she was about a year old. Her baby sister tested positive for cocaine at birth, and was also apprehended by the agency. Their little brother was also later removed from the mother's care. And at trial, Judge Czutrin learned that the woman had recently given birth to a new baby in Alberta -- and that though the band learned about the new child last February, had still not alerted authorities there.

Always driving the case was that the foster parents are white and that adoption of native children by white families is considered "cultural genocide through assimilation."

Against that were two stable families, filled with love, and the only homes the little girls have ever known and where it now appears they will stay.

cblatchford@globeandmail.ca

© 2004 Bell Globemedia Publishing Inc. All Rights Reserved.

Safe-haven legislation: Don't abandon it again

2004-08-01T18:45:00.000-04:00

Safe-haven legislation: Don't abandon it again

Safe-haven legislation: Don't abandon it again
Tuesday, July 20, 2004

Massachusetts is one of only five states without a law allowing a mother to abandon a newborn at a hospital, fire station, police station or other designated safe haven without fear of prosecution.

Critics argue that a safe haven law makes it too easy for mothers to abandon their babies; that it denies the parental rights of fathers, makes it difficult to trace the infant's medical history and robs the child of any sense of personal history.

These are rational and intelligent arguments that have effectively blocked passage of a safe haven bill in Massachusetts since 2000, when the legislation was first introduced.

When any of these arguments are made by a lawmaker from the floor of the House or Senate in Boston, it is difficult to deny the logic.

Then there is the argument made by a newborn baby girl abandoned outside the Southampton Fire Station last week. Only a few hours old, the infant may have died if her cries had not been heard by a passer-by.

Those cries made from the steps of a volunteer fire station resonate louder than any argument made by a legislator from the floor of the Statehouse.

They demonstrate once again the need for safe haven legislation allowing a parent to abandon an infant as long as the child shows no sign of abuse.

A bill is awaiting final approval by the Legislature, and some believe legislators have finally gotten the message now. Many thought the same two years ago after a University of Massachusetts maintenance worker found the body of an abandoned newborn in a dormitory trash can. But the bill was abandoned.

Legislators should not wait for another tragedy before acting.

A mother who abandons a newborn is usually a teen-age girl who is alone, desperate and unprepared emotionally for the responsibilities of caring for a newborn. It should be noted by legislators that many of the programs and services designed to help unwed teen-age mothers were cut out of the budget in recent years.

In recent years, five newborns have been abandoned in Western Massachusetts. Two were dead. There are likely dozens of teen-age girls in Western Massachusetts with unwanted pregnancies. Lawmakers should not abandon them.

Copyright 2004 MassLive.com. All Rights Reserved.

PRESS RELEASE: Adoption - Is Heritage A Human Right?

2004-08-01T18:43:00.000-04:00

PRESS RELEASE: Adoption - Is Heritage A Human Right?

Adoption - Is Heritage A Human Right?
With the adoption industry promoting the illusion of adopters being the real parents of the unrelated children they are raising, adoptees are being denied basic knowledge about themselves. Who are they really? Who are their ancestors and what is their health history?

Marion, IA (PRWEB) July 20, 2004 -- In the movie "Roots II", the African man Kunta Kinte newly arrived in America and auctioned as a slave, submits to being whipped almost to death before he will acknowledge the new name given to him by his owner. This determination to maintain our identity is something most people relate to; fortunately most people will never know what it's like to have their own identity unacknowledged.

In adoption, the true identity of a human being is obliterated, beginning with the issuance of an amended birth certificate. The amended birth certificate lacks the adopted person's name at birth and her parents' names, instead identifying the adopters as having given birth. In some states, even the place and date of birth on these official documents are false. In spite of the Freedom of Information Act, even adoptees who are adults are denied access to their original birth certificate in most of the United States.

Adopters have been told by those who profit from adoption that if they love a child enough, the child will not need his true family. Many people probably think that for someone adopted as a baby, their identity forms based on those who raise them. Identity is often confused with developing good values. But is it the same?
In the Harry Potter books by J.K. Rowling, Harry's parents are the basis of his identity. This is true despite the fact that Harry’s parents died when he was an infant and Harry was raised by his Uncle and Aunt Dursley.

Harry's experiences living with the Dursley's are similar to those of many adoptees. The Dursley's try to suppress Harry's inherited tendency toward magic, which they can't understand. They lie to Harry about his parents telling him they died in a car crash. Questions are discouraged. While the Dursley's dote on their real offspring, Dudley, they can’t relate to Harry. Despite their concerted efforts to suppress it, his talent for magic becomes apparent anyway even before the Wizard world reconnects with him. His hair grows back in one night after Uncle Vernon decides to cut it all off. He is transported mysteriously to a rooftop while being chased by Dudley and his gang.

The Dursley's denigrate Harry’s true parents, insulting not only his parents, but Harry in the process. At one point in his anger over the insults he uses his magic to blow Mrs. Dursley up like a balloon which then floats away into the sky. Many adoptees find the denial of their true family by their adopters and others in society to be an insult.
Heritage and the family bond is essential to the identity of all the characters in the Harry Potter books. Harry's rival, the bully Draco Malfoy, has inherited a dark nature from his father Lucius. The Weasleys are a poor but prominent wizard family. Neville Longbottom, whose parents were tortured and driven insane, do not even recognize their son. But when his mother recognizes him as someone she likes and gives him the gift of a gum wrapper, he saves it. And while Hermione Granger's parents are Muggles, they at least have a bond with and appreciate their daughter as herself and allow her to develop her talents as a witch.

Those who truly care about Harry make it a point to keep his parents memory alive for him. "You look just like your father, but have your mother's eyes," Harry is told. It seems this simple statement is a great comfort to Harry. Even when Serius Black, Harry's godfather, asks Harry to live with him, Serius does not mention changing Harry's name and pretending to be his father. Serius respects Harry's heritage.What does an adoptee think when viewing this movie? The comfort of natural belonging is something that adoptees lack. They are "special," in that they are different from everyone around them. Whether their true mother is dead or alive, adoptees surely can’t help but wonder about her.

On an internet discussion board, Dave Staplin, a 48-year-old adoptee, introduces himself as "Mark (my real name, given at birth)." He states: "I played the role I was assigned faithfully for decades. I played the "as if" (born to my adopters) game as well as anyone, and like Sleeping Beauty, I stayed asleep and untouched. One day about 2 years ago, I began to wake up, and realized that what was important to my adopters was not me as I really am, but their image of the child they wanted. I was a stand-in, a representation of their dream of children and family."

In a message titled, "Why We Would Want to be Adopted Back By Our Parents - An Adoptee's View," he states: "We who have been adopted have been sentenced to carry out someone else's wishes, carry on someone else's name...When I began searching for my mother, every manipulative trick in the book was pulled to dissuade me from doing so. Again, concern only for what THEY want...Why would we want to be adopted back by our real parents?...We are NOT your children...no loving god would let happen to children what happens in closed adoptions... As to the adopter's pain, it doesn't begin to compare to the pain created by the way our lives have been manipulated."

While many people have been led to believe that adoption is caring for a child in the best way possible, inherent in adoption is the denial of a human being's own identity and heritage. While adopters claim they have a lot of love to give, it's what they don’t give that is harmful: Respect for the true family of the child they are raising as his family.

Adoptees sometimes do not even know whether the people they are dating or marrying are their own cousins or siblings. This may be especially true for Donor Insemination adoptees and Embryo-adopted adoptees who may guess at the truth but are less frequently informed of their adoptive status. For those adoptees who do know, adopters control them using measures such as guilt, material possessions and the lure of an inheritance. After having searched in vain for decades for their true family, many adoptees discover after their adopters have passed away that the adopters had in their possession identifying information that could have helped the adoptees locate their parents. And the adopters withheld it.

There are other methods of permanency for a child that do not deny him his heritage such as natural family preservation, custody, guardianship and kinship care. These methods require no lies about family relatedness and they put the child's interests first.
It's not in the best interest of a human being to be treated as the property of adopters. Even many of the people who have adopted agree that their adoptees deserve to have identifying information about themselves. And nearly all moms whose sons and daughters were adopted-out would love to know how their children are. Yet the National Council For Adoption, representing agencies which profit from selling the fantasy of "real parenthood" to prospective adopters, stands in the way.

We must have justice for all adoptees. In the future, no child should have her identity or any other information changed on her birth certificate. No child should be subjected to having his own heritage disrespected and denied. With adoption, not only the adoptee but each successive generation is cut off from their heritage. What right could be more basic than the right to your true identity? What could be more demeaning than to have who you are ignored or denied? Is Heritage a Human Right? It most certainly is.

Contact Information:

Laurie Frisch
(319) 373-7479
Laurie_Frisch@hotmail.com

# # #

Contact Information
Laurie Frisch
http://www.geocities.com/counting_to_ten/index2.html
(319) 373-7479

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New York Post Online Edition: commentary

2004-08-01T18:12:00.000-04:00

New York Post Online Edition: commentary

'FATHER-SON' REUNION

By ANDREA PEYSER
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July 19, 2004 -- WHEN he steps out of an upstate prison Friday, Barry Smiley will walk into the loving embrace of his "son," Matthew — a child Smiley stole from his real parents 24 years ago, gave a new name and raised as his own.
To Matthew, he's just "Dad."

"I'm very excited to have him coming home," Matthew Propp told me from his home in New Mexico, where he lives with his fiancée, Jacey Schuette.

Smiley spent two years in the slammer for kidnapping Matthew, a boy he loves and who loves him. So eager were Matt and Jacey to have Smiley participate in their wedding, they postponed the ceremony to September. "I'm glad this is finally coming to an end," said Matt. "My dad's coming back."

But for Matthew's blood father, who lives on Long Island, Smiley's release marks but another in a string of days steeped in grief. After spending two decades searching for his firstborn, who is 25, Anthony Russini has lost him again. After being briefly reunited with his blood family in 2001, Matthew — named Anthony Jr. at birth — today has no contact with his birth father.

"He's as dead to the family as if he had passed away," said Fred McGovern, Russini's longtime lawyer. "That's how pathetic it is."

But as Matt sees it, his relationship with his biological family was poisoned by their bitterness. "I felt that if they didn't have me just for them, they didn't want me at all," said Matthew, who works as an emergency medical technician. "I couldn't be happy with the fact that they hate my parents," he said. By "parents," he means the Smileys.

This epic and pathetic tale began in 1979, when 18-year-old Debbie Gardner gave birth out of wedlock on Long Island. Her father handed the boy to Barry and Judith Smiley of Queens, hoping they'd adopt him.

But when Anthony Russini, a 19-year-old plumber, got wind of this, he fought for his son. He and Debbie married. They went to court. After a year of delays, a judge ordered the boy back to the Russinis.

That's when the Smileys fled New York, changed their names to Mary and Bennett Propp and settled secretly in New Mexico. Anthony Jr. — "Matthew" — was 15 months old.

The Russinis hired private detectives. Debbie and Anthony had two more children, later divorcing. For years, Russini scanned faces on the street for his son.

Then, in March 2001, came incredible news. Matthew was found. Reports have said his identity was revealed during a background check, conducted when he applied for a job as a cop. But Matthew insists that when he turned 21, the Smileys told him the truth, then turned themselves in to authorities.

Matthew came east to meet his father, mother and siblings, but the reunion was short.

In October 2001, another blow hit the Russinis. A younger son, Christopher — Matthew's brother — died from carbon-monoxide poisoning as he dozed in his car. "I wish I could have got to know him better," Matthew said sadly.

By then, the rift between the biological family had grown into a gulf. Anthony Russini says Matthew never responded to his message about Christopher's death. Now he accuses Matthew of attempting to enlist his sympathy so the Smileys might get leniency in their kidnapping case.

Matthew, however, stays in contact with his biological sister and talks to his blood mom, who lives in Florida. As for his father, he has not slammed the door.

"Hopefully, one of these days, he'll realize there's still potential for us to have something," he said. "Being upset and mad and vengeful is not the way to do it.

"I still hope if he gets past that, we'll have something."

The guest list for Matthew's wedding is still incomplete.

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Sun.Star Cebu - Illegitimate kids can now use surnames of fathers

2004-08-01T18:06:00.000-04:00

Sun.Star Cebu - Illegitimate kids can now use surnames of fathers

ILLEGITIMATE children may now use the surnames of their fathers and have their birth records updated in their local Civil Regis-trar’s Office.

The Office of the Civil Registrar released the implementing rules and regulations (IRR) of RA 9255, which amended the Family Code of the Philippines when it was passed in February this year.

Before RA 9255 was passed, fathers with illegitimate children had to file for adoption in court so the child could use their surname.

“We can see the wisdom of the law. These children did not have a choice. They should not carry the stigma of being illegitimate,” said National Statistics Office (NSO) 7 Director Lilia Tandoc.

Tandoc said processing of the document will only take a day and NSO 7 will hold this week a seminar with all the local civil registrars in the region to brief them on the IRR.

However, lawyer Cheryl Cabutihan of the Children’s Legal Bureau said the passage of RA 9255 is only “half the battle won” since the illegitimate child still gets only half of the share of the legitimate child.

“But we are glad at least one form of discrimination against illegitimate children has been removed. What was done before was a violation of their right to identity,” Cabutihan said. She added that the amended law also ensures the illegitimate children of support from their fathers.

Under RA 9255, the father, mother, child (if of age) or the guardian may file the public document or affidavit to use the surname of the father, in order for the child to use the father’s surname.

For those born in the Philippines, the affidavit and a public document, which is an affidavit of recognition issued by the father, will be filed at the local Civil Registry Office.

If the birth occurred outside the Philippines, the public document or affidavit has to be filed in the registry office in Manila.

For those using the names of their mothers, they only have to submit a private handwritten instrument (where the father expressly recognizes paternity), the affidavit and supporting documents, showing clearly the relationship between father and child.

These include the father’s employment records, SSS/GSIS, insurance, statement of assets and liabilities or income tax returns.

Paper trail

For those unregistered yet, they need to present a public document, which could be either the certificate of live birth, where the father acknowledges paternity, or a separate document.

If the admission is made through a private handwritten instrument, the child or guardian has to submit the affidavit and documents that establish the relationship.

Those unregistered could use the surname of their father in the certificate of live birth and in the register of births.

If admission of paternity is done at the back of the birth certificate or through a separate public document, annotations will be made in the certificate of live birth and the register of births.

Tandoc said the processing will not take long except if the local registry requires other documents.
Cabutihan said, though, that the annotation of birth records is faster and cheaper than the processing done previously.

In filing petitions for adoption, the father has to hire a lawyer to handle the publication of the petitions and set it for hearing.

Aside from a trial custody, where a social worker assesses if the father is qualified to adopt the child, the issuance of the adoption decree from the Office of the Solicitor General takes months and sometimes, even years, Cabutihan said.

The process will also cost the father from P25,000 to P30,000. CYR

(July 19, 2004 issue)
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Kansas City Star | 07/18/2004 | Internet ends search for long-missing sister

2004-08-01T17:59:00.000-04:00

Kansas City Star | 07/18/2004 | Internet ends search for long-missing sister

Posted on Sun, Jul. 18, 2004

DAVID EULITT/The Kansas City Star
DAVID EULITT/The Kansas City StarJudy Flynn (left) of Greenwood in Jackson County recently met with her siblings. Flynn's half brother, John Burke (center), and Pamela Hackney had searched for Flynn for 20 years, and an Internet site was the icing on the cake. The families met at a Shawnee home on Saturday. Burke is the father of Carolyn LaCombe (right), who held Luke LaCombe.

Submitted photo
Submitted photoJudy Flynn (from left), John Burke and Pamela Hackney met for their first reunion earlier this year at a casino in St. Louis.

‘I know you are out there'

Internet ends search for long-missing sister

By MARÁ ROSE WILLIAMS

The Kansas City Star

“I would advise anyone trying to find someone…don't give up, and don't be surprised if they are looking for you, too.”

Judy Flynn

John Burke remembers seeing his youngest sister briefly, once. He was about 5 years old. She was an infant with one leg in a cast.

“It always stuck with me,” Burke said. “That isn't something you see every day. I was told the baby was born with a clubfoot.”

That memory proved crucial in the happy end of a 20-year search for the sister he never had known. He and another sister, Pamela Hackney, grew up together in Kansas City. They worked over the years to find the half sister who had been given up for adoption more than half a century ago.

They found her earlier this year.

Like Burke, Judy Flynn had lived and worked her whole life in the Kansas City area. She attended Liberty High School and later Raytown South. Ultimately, she settled in Lee's Summit.

Close enough, Burke said, that the siblings might have brushed past each other on the Country Club Plaza, at a festival, in a grocery aisle.

Perhaps they had sat back-to-back in restaurant booths.

On Saturday, Flynn, her husband and two grown children got together with Burke, 60, of Shawnee and Hackney, 59, of Delavan, Ill., and met other relatives Flynn never knew existed.

“Even though it is sometimes overwhelming, a very good thing has happened here,” said Flynn, 55. “I would advise anyone trying to find someone … don't give up, and don't be surprised if they are looking for you, too.”

So little knowledge

The three siblings doubt they would have found one another without the Internet. But their search began in the 1980s, before the Internet was accessible to most people. Their task was arduous, sometimes tedious.

“Let me just say, you have to be something of a detective to do this kind of thing,” Burke said, as he leafed through a stack of documents and papers on which he had jotted notes, names and phone numbers gathered during the search. He singled out a copy of his mother's marriage license and held on to it while he explained.

Burke and Hackney were raised by their grandparents in the Westport area. They knew only that when they were toddlers, their mother divorced their father, remarried, moved away and had another baby.

“I remembered my mother would bring her to my grandparents' home occasionally,” Hackney said. “And I remember climbing into the crib with her. I was so awed by having a little baby sister. We called her ‘The Baby.'? ”

But Hackney's mother visited only a few times with the baby. Hackney wondered what had happened to her sister, but a child's curiosity can be short-lived.

“You know, sometimes you get to living your life and you forget about these things until you get older, and then you start wondering, like I did, ‘Whatever happened to the baby? Is she still alive? Did she have a good fate in life?'?” Hackney said.

The search was difficult because neither Burke nor Hackney knew their mother's last name at the time the baby was born. Their mother died in 1960.“When we got started on this, there wasn't anyone alive who knew anything,” said Burke, who is retired from the Treasury Department. “The only thing anyone remembered was that our mother had given the baby up for adoption. I don't know why.”

Burke started at the Jackson County court system and learned that adoption records are permanently closed.

“We figured our sister had to be born around 1948 or 1949,” Burke said.

They don't remember having met her biological father, but they did know the name of their mother's third husband, who also had died. They contacted his sister.

“Luckily she remembered her brother and our mother had been married in a little town in Arkansas,” Burke said.

Burke requested their marriage license, providing his mother's first name, her date of birth, her Social Security number and the name of her groom. He received a copy of the license with her maiden name listed as Norma Phillips.

The baby, they figured, was born a Phillips.

“That was a very big piece of information for us,” Burke said. “Now we could try to find her date of birth.”

For months the siblings searched public library microfilm for newspaper birth announcements from 1948 and 1949.

In 1999 Hackney's husband, who had joined the search, stumbled on to a baby born to Norma Phillips in December 1948, but it was listed under announcements published March 7, 1950. The baby's name was blocked.

“We figured that was because the adoption was pending,” Hackney said.

Months — years —went by. Every now and then Burke and Hackney tackled a new lead.

In old directories from the late '40s and early '50s, the siblings found an address for John and Norma Phillips in Kansas City and learned the name of their landlord at the time. They worked the telephone, calling anyone they could find who lived in that neighborhood then.

The landlady, they were told, adopted Norma Phillips' baby.

Two-way search

In 2002, in another part of the metropolitan area, Judy Flynn's daughter persuaded her to register with the online service Adoption.com. Flynn, curious about her biological family, wondered why no one had tried to find her.

Soon, Hackney and Burke would consult that very service.

For Hackney, one particular afternoon stands out. Her daughter called to say she had been surfing adoption Web sites and had found three women in the area whose birthdays matched the lost sister's.

Judy Flynn was among them.

“I was afraid to call,” Hackney said. “I was afraid of rejection. You never know what you might run into.”

Their first conversation lasted several hours. Both asked and answered a lot of questions. A few things proved key. Both women's birth certificates listed the same obstetrician and the same hospital.

Flynn's adoptive mother's first name matched that of the landlady. Most important, Flynn was born with a clubfoot. She remembers wearing a brace on her foot when she started elementary school

“I had put that piece of information — about my foot problem — on the Web site, because I thought for sure it would stand out.”

Flynn wanted someone to find her.

“There had been times when I would think to myself, ‘I know you are out there. Why aren't you looking for me?'?”

Still, after the moment arrived, it took Flynn about a week before she could call Hackney back. It all was a lot to digest.

“I thought I would never hear from her again,” Hackney said.

But she did.

The presumed siblings met for the first time at a St. Louis casino. Burke and Hackney were certain Flynn was their sister.

Flynn believed a DNA test could quash all doubt.

Test results indicated, with 85-percent certainty, that the three are siblings. Without samples from a parent, the best certainty possible was 90 percent.

It's all the proof the siblings needed. Now, not a week goes by that they don't call each other.

And some mornings, Hackney said, Flynn will call long-distance and say: ‘I thought I'd have coffee with you. Over the phone, of course.”

And then the sisters talk as if they have known each other their whole lives.

To reach Mará Rose Williams, call (816) 234-7801 or send e-mail to mdwilliams@kcstar.com.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

First glance
Search aides

• John Burke and Pamela Hackney searched for 20 years before finding their sister.

• The missing sister, Judy Flynn, lived in the Kansas City area. An Internet search and a birth defect helped them find her.

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Safe haven sought for babies

2004-08-01T17:57:00.000-04:00

Safe haven sought for babies

Safe haven sought for babies
Sunday, July 18, 2004
By PATRICK JOHNSON
pjohnson@repub.com

SOUTHAMPTON - The newborn baby found outside an empty volunteer fire station here Friday morning - the 13th such case statewide in four years - demonstrates the critical need for safe haven legislation in Massachusetts, two advocates for the law said.

Michael D. and Jean L. Morrisey of Lexington called a press conference yesterday in front of the Southampton Fire Station to urge the state Legislature to immediately approve a safe haven bill before another child is put at risk.

The proposed legislation allows parents to legally abandon a newborn by giving it to someone at a hospital, police station or manned fire station. As long as the child shows no signs of abuse, the parent or parents may remain anonymous.

The bill was first introduced in 2000.

"The Legislature is acting very irresponsibly," said Michael Morrisey.

"Four years is too long," Jean Morrisey said.

Southampton police are searching for the mother of a baby girl who was left outside on the steps of the town fire station on Route 202 sometime Friday morning.

The baby, hours old, was wrapped in a purple towel.

The volunteer fire station was empty at the time. A woman on her way to work heard the baby crying and stopped to investigate, and then called police.

Police report nothing new in the search for the mother.

The baby, suffering from hypothermia and blood loss, was taken to Cooley Dickinson Hospital in Northampton and has since been transferred to the neonatal unit of Baystate Medical Center in Springfield, where she was expected to remain at least a few days.

The newborn was initially listed as in critical condition but stable, and that condition was upgraded to stable yesterday, said Denise Monteiro, a spokeswoman for the state Department of Social Services, which has custody of the child.

"We believe she's going to pull through," Monteiro said.

Standing in front of a granite memorial at the station depicting a firefighter rescuing a baby, the Morriseys said the state needs to act quickly before another baby is put in danger.

In many cases, a distraught parent leaves the child somewhere isolated, such as a cemetery or an empty fire station or even a trash bin, because they fear they will get in trouble, Michael Morrisey said.

Michael Morrisey said there have been 13 cases of child abandonment since 2000, and in six of those cases the child has died.

Included in those statistics is University of Massachusetts freshman Jennifer L. Paluseo, who put her son in a trash bag after giving birth in a dormitory bathroom. Paluseo pleaded guilty to involuntary manslaughter and was sentenced to a year in jail.

The bill has been before both houses of the legislature since 2000. The Massachusetts House and Senate have approved differing versions of the bill but now must hash out the differences before it can go forward.

The Morriseys say the legislature has dragged its feet long enough.

If the legislature does not act within 72 hours, the Morriseys said they will launch a lobbying campaign leading up to the Democratic National Convention in Boston next week.

They said they plan to urge district attorneys to pledge not to prosecute in future abandonment cases where the child is not harmed, and will also lobby individual communities to seek home-rule legislation.

The Morriseys have so far persuaded 19 communities to support safe haven legislation.

Also, they said they intend to seek signatures to put a safe haven referendum on the ballot in 2006.

Material from the Associated Press was used in this story

IVF Child Conceived With Dead Man's Sperm is Ruled by Court to be His Child

2004-08-01T15:52:00.000-04:00

IVF Child Conceived With Dead Man's Sperm is Ruled by Court to be His Child

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Source URL: http://www.lifesite.net/ldn/2004/jul/04071606.html

LifeSite Daily News
Friday July 16, 2004

IVF Child Conceived With Dead Man's Sperm is Ruled by Court to be His Child
TAKAMATSU, July 16, 2004 (LifeSiteNews.com) - The moral labyrinth created by the IVF industry is producing some of history's more memorable legal decisions. A Japanese court has ruled that the child born of IVF using a dead man's sperm is, in fact, the man's child. The child was conceived in a lab after his father died of leukemia. When the child's mother tried to register the birth, the local government refused to allow it on the grounds that the father had died more than 300 days before the birth date. The normal length of human gestation is about 270 days.

The woman filed a lawsuit to have her son legally recognized as the child of his father. The first court denied the suit on the grounds of "common sense" saying it was impossible to recognize the father-child relationship in such a case. The Takamatsu High Court overturned the lower court ruling.

Gillian Long, Research Director for Campaign Life Coalition who monitors the Japanese scene said, "The situation is so convoluted now with all the re-defining of what a human being is, what marriage is, what a parent is, that we now need court decisions reached by lawyers with no scientific competence to tell us what ought to be obvious to any fifth grader."

The deceased man had signed a statement that he did not want his sperm used to impregnate his widow after his death. Under the Japanese Civil Code a child has a right to be recognized as the child of his father up to three years after the father's death. However, the law makes no provision for the problems created by the new technologies.

"What is so hard to understand about all this, is that tomorrow a different court somewhere is going to decide that some other IVF child has no rights at all," Long said. Japan has just decided that with cloning for stem cells, those people are not people either. Some time, the law is going to have to make up its collective mind about what a human being is and what human rights really are."

Further coverage from Mainichi Daily News:
http://mdn.mainichi.co.jp/news/20040716p
2a00m0dm009000c.html

ph

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gfn.com - Daily News

2004-08-01T15:48:00.000-04:00

gfn.com - Daily News

Married Lesbian Couple First on Birth Certificate
July 16, 2004
Gfn.com News

A lesbian couple from Massachusetts may be the first-ever same-sex couple in the state recognized as parents on their child's birth certificate, reports The Boston Herald.

Cora Roelofs and Liz Steinhauser, who were married in Massachusetts June 3, are named as mother and second parent'' on a certificate issued by the town of Wellesley and approved by the state Department of Public Health.

“We hope people realize this is both justice and a joy, and we hope they support our family,'' said Roelofs, who gave birth June 4 to a boy who was conceived through artificial insemination. The birth certificate was issued June 29.

Under state law, married couples that have a child through artificial insemination are automatically recognized as parents.

Roelofs and Steinhauser said yesterday that denying them recognition as legal parents is rooted in discrimination that was correctly labeled as such in the court decision legalizing gay marriage.

“The prejudice has been recognized and we are now moving in the direction of justice,'' Steinhauser told The Boston Herald.

Officials with the state Department of Public Health said Thursday no final decisions have been made on whether to change the wording on birth certificates, which offer only spaces for a mother and father.

ThisisLondon

2004-08-01T15:42:00.000-04:00

ThisisLondon

This is so WRONG

Click here to print
This is
LONDON
16/07/04 - Showbiz! section

Jacko 'to become dad again'
By Metro

Michael Jackson is reportedly set to become a father for the fourth time, the Enquirer said.

A mystery actress was said to have been artificially inseminated with his sperm and is now pregnant with more than one child.

Jackson, who is awaiting trial on child abuse charges, allegedly chose the woman after she penned him a fan letter expressing belief in his innocence.

Jackson, 45, is said to have replied asking if she was willing to carry his child.

An insider said: 'Eagerly, she agreed. By early May she became pregnant. She had been on all sorts of medications to prepare her for the pregnancy.'

The source told the Enquirer the woman was expecting a multiple birth.

'There were five embryos implanted in her and four took,' the source revealed.

Jackson, who denies ten child molestation charges, has faced calls for his children - Prince Michael, Paris and Prince Michael II - to be taken off him.

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Find this story at http://www.thisislondon.co.uk/showbiz/articles/11996464?version=1
©2004 Associated New Media

News Story

2004-08-01T15:37:00.000-04:00

News Story

07/15/2004
State: "Safe Haven" Working

Milwaukee - Two babies are now in the arms of foster families after their mothers chose to drop their newborns off at West Allis Memorial. Those mother's identities will never be revealed, due to Wisconsin's 'Safe Haven' law. It allows mothers to hand over their newborn, with no questions asked. 19 babies have been adopted since Wisconsin enacted 'Safe Haven' three years ago.

CBS News | Who Is The Father? | July 15, 2004?12:58:20

2004-08-01T15:31:00.000-04:00

CBS News | Who Is The Father? | July 15, 2004?12:58:20

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Who Is The Father?
NEW HAVEN, Connecticut; July 15, 2004

Laura Howard was hoping her trip to a fertility specialist would make her dream of a child with the man she loves come true. But as she left the office, the doctor suddenly ran out to the lobby and called her back.

There was a grave mistake. Instead of being inseminated with the sperm of her fiancé, she received a vial of semen from another man.

Howard learned she was pregnant on June 1, about two weeks after her visit to the clinic. She is now haunted by questions: Who is the father? Does he have any deadly diseases? Will her fiancé stand by her, knowing the baby likely is not his?

"I don't sleep. I am always stressed," Howard said. "My fiancé is very distraught. He had no intentions of raising someone else's child."

On Tuesday, Howard, a 40-year-old nurse, sued her fertility specialist, Dr. Anthony Santomauro.

Medical malpractice attorney Madonna Sacco, who represents Santomauro, issued a statement acknowledging an error was made and said the parties were trying to resolve the issues.

"Ms. Howard asked for and was given prescriptions to interrupt the insemination process," Sacco said. "My client is terribly sorry that human error occurred and saddened that Ms. Howard decided not to take the medication she requested and was prescribed."

Fertility experts were surprised and troubled by the case.

"That's extremely unusual," said Dr. Joe Massey, a fertility specialist at Reproductive Biology Associates in Atlanta. "Clinics typically have a vigorous labeling system to prevent this."

But infertility law expert Mark Rothstein said some incidents might go unreported.

"This is a notoriously unregulated area that some of my colleagues have called the Wild West of medicine," said Rothstein, a lawyer and director of the University of Louisville Institute of Bioethics, Health and Law. "I think it happens and in many cases we don't know about it."

Rothstein cited the case of former fertility doctor Cecil Jacobson, who was convicted of fraud in 1992 in connection with his former clinic in Virginia. Jacobson tricked some patients into believing they were pregnant and lied to others when using his own sperm to inseminate them, fathering at least 15 of his patients' children, authorities said.

In another case, a jury last month awarded more than $400,000 to a North Carolina woman artificially inseminated with sperm that was "unwashed," or unprepared for insemination. Kelly Chambliss said she became violently ill right after the procedure.

Howard said she and her fiancé had been trying to conceive for years before she went to see Santomauro in May.

After realizing the mistake, Santomauro gave her a prescription for the morning after pill, Howard said, but she refused to take it. She said the doctor was "panicky" and encouraged her to get an abortion, but she said she decided to go forward with the pregnancy, citing her age and nearly five years of efforts to get pregnant.

"For me it's still my child," Howard said. "I've always wanted two."

Howard, who is black, believes the sperm came from a white man. Both of the other couples at the clinic that day were white, she said.

Howard would not identify her fiancé, saying he did not want to comment. But she said in an interview and in her lawsuit that the situation has taken a toll on their relationship.

She said there is still a chance her fiancé could be the father but she won't know until later in her pregnancy, when she can be tested.

Though she says she doesn't need to know the donor's name, Howard wants to know his medical history.

Her attorney, Bruce Jacobs, said employees at the fertility clinic have refused to disclose that information, although he suggested some progress has been made in talks between the parties. Jacobs said he's hoping to get a court order for the information or that the donor will come forward voluntarily.

Howard, who also has complained to the state Department of Public Health, said she is undergoing testing for HIV and other diseases and even worries that the father could seek joint custody. She has not been told whether the donor knows that she was impregnated with his sperm.

The lawsuit contends Santomauro failed to properly label the sperm sample or have a system in place to prevent such an error.

A doctor for 35 years, Santomauro was educated at Columbia University. He is affiliated with Bridgeport Hospital, Yale-New Haven Hospital and St. Vincent's Medical Center, according to the state.

Howard recalled how she eagerly anticipated the birth of her first child years ago, excited to think of a name, the clothes she would buy and the color of the room for the newborn.

Now she says she has too many worries to think like that. She said she has no idea how she'll explain the situation when her second child becomes older.

"I have to look at that child and say 'You're still mine' and love this child with everything in me," Howard said.

The Austin Chronicle: News: Babies Behind Bars

2004-08-01T15:04:00.000-04:00

The Austin Chronicle: News: Babies Behind Bars

HOME: JULY 16, 2004: NEWS: BABIES BEHIND BARS

Babies Behind Bars
In the mirror world of TDCJ, life goes on
BY LUCIUS LOMAX

Last year in Texas prisons there were 399 attempted suicides – 16 successful – and one accidental death, when an inmate fell off his bunk and cracked his skull. Three hundred sixty five inmates died of natural causes. There were 24 executions, and one ordinary homicide.

In addition, there were:

5,736 "major uses of force," including spraying of chemical agents, either from the guard's personal canisters and/or the industrial strength variety;

97 "disturbances" (defined as involving seven or more inmates) and 329 lockdowns, with one hostage situation;

425 alleged rapes of inmates, 947 weapons confiscated, and 781 employees arrested on various charges; there were 149 cases of "visitor arrest, misconduct or injury," and 38 discharges of staff firearms, including the accidental kind;

44 serious staff assaults, and 991 serious offender assaults;

164 cases of intentional exposure to body fluids (called "chunking"), in which an inmate spits, pees, or worse on a corrections officer;

In total, at the Texas Department of Criminal Justice in 2003, there were 13,072 "incidents" – officially defined as anything deemed to be "an event which has disrupted or may disrupt the normal, secure and orderly operation in the TDCJ."

But there's a more amazing statistic, mind-blowing because it is completely contrary to the general mayhem and bad-acting, both by prisoners and guards, for which Texas prisons are famous. This particular stat represents the Other Side of the Force: goodness and light, the blessed future, and (so we imagine) hope for humanity.

In the TDCJ in 2003, there were 284 babies born to inmates.

Multiple Partners
Giving birth in a Texas prison is not exactly a cause for unmixed celebration. The expectant mothers get good prenatal care and professional birthing facilities, and a brief period of postnatal affection and nursing. But shortly after the births, the infants are delivered to whatever outside care arrangements have been made for them, and the mothers return to the general prison population.

Who are the fathers of the children born behind bars? Most often, they're from the old neighborhood – but in at least a few cases, the father is apparently the state of Texas. More precisely, Daddy may wear a uniform.

There are no conjugal visits permitted in state prisons, but despite the best efforts of wardens and administrators, there is apparently booty to be had on the side. Sex between correctional officers and inmates is technically forbidden – a crime, in fact, for guards who indulge. "Sucking," as the practice is generally called by insiders, usually involves inmates exchanging sexual favors with guards in return for preferred work assignments, drugs, money, or goods which the prison commissary doesn't ordinarily carry, like perfume. Sometimes it's not outright commerce – often people on both sides of the bars just want to get laid. It is a polite fiction to believe that someone locked up for 20 years will not try to get his or her groove on. There is also no necessary gender bias in the hunt – female corrections officers can hook up too.

"I've seen female guards led off the unit without so much as a chance to tuck in their shirts," says one former TDCJ lieutenant. She notes that, as a supervisor, she found the most suspicious sign of a possible booty call to be a guard showing up at the prison when not scheduled for duty. Female guards, for instance, are said to be particularly attracted to some of the young male inmates, who often don't have much to occupy themselves except bodybuilding, and who, by definition, have plenty of that bad-boy charisma that some women seem to love. Eyes may meet furtively during strip searches. Fingers may touch in the chow line or at supervised exercise. The action goes horizontal from there.

"My brother has been locked up since he was 16, and he's got three babies with guards," says one nurse who occasionally works with the prison population. "I been free-world all my life," she marvels, "and I only got one."

In the case of babies born in TDCJ, however, the horizontal action is reversed. It's the more typical male guard and female prisoner tryst – a meet-you-behind-the-cellblock kind of encounter. Don't jump to the conclusion that guards are forcing the prisoners to have sex – only two guards, one male and one female, were charged with forcible sexual assault last year – because in many cases it's consensual.

"Most of the women are not complaining," said one official who often talks to prisoners/patients about sex in TDCJ's more than 100 state prison and jail facilities. Many of the women are said to want to become pregnant because of the better treatment given pregnant women, even if only such a simple luxury as a well-ventilated room. The prison system is not forthcoming about how many employees, if any, were charged with having consensual relations last year. Complaints would theoretically lead to DNA tests. The sex "is promoted by the women themselves, or by the guards. I suspect that legislators know," said the above official, "if they've been around for a while. They need to get control of the situation."

That's a view apparently held by those closer to the action as well. One TDCJ guard, who works at the prison hospital in Galveston and spends considerable time accompanying inmates over to the nearby public hospital to have their babies delivered, just shrugged as if that's old news. "Some of 'em come in [to prison] pregnant," she said. "Some of 'em get pregnant by TDCJ officers. It happens all the time."

Not according to the official line. A recent study by the prison system's general counsel of the 284 moms who gave birth in the big house last year found none who had been "in the system" more than nine months – the obvious indicator that impregnation took place within the walls of a Texas prison unit – though in four of those 284 cases, the TDCJ general counsel said it is "unknown" when the moms actually entered the system. (While we're on the subject of sex, an average of more than one inmate a day is contracting HIV in Texas prisons. That suggests there is booty to be had in the privacy of cells, inmate on inmate, at least some of it without consent.)

Healthy Babies
The statistics are apparently better maintained in the Texas Youth Commission, the state's juvenile incarceration system. Among that inmate population, there were 24 births in 2003. Seven of the 24 had been in custody for more than nine months, but a department spokesman explains, "Of those seven, all were in community placements on parole status at a time nine months prior to giving birth, save one who was on escape/abscond status at that time."

TYA also does better by its new moms than TDCJ. Depending upon good behavior, juvenile mothers are sometimes allowed to live for up to six months with their babies at a facility near Victoria. "In order to be eligible, this means behavior is under control and the youth is demonstrating understanding of triggers for offensive behavior, demonstrating leadership by appropriately confronting others, and demonstrating some victim empathy," according to TYA spokeswoman Pamela Ward. "The babies are three years of age or younger. Each mother and her baby share a room that consists of a bed for mom, a crib or toddler bed, a chest of drawers, limited shelving space, and a bathroom. All rooms have a sliding glass door and open into a common hallway with cameras to insure safety and security. Staff check – look in on – youth every 15 minutes at night." The program is called WINGS: Women in Need of Greater Strengths.

Studies show that prisoner mothers who are allowed to bond are less likely to reoffend. That's a theory also subscribed to in the adult prison system where, in the future, administrators hope to provide more bonding time for moms, who now only get about a day or so with their babies. Then family or foster care takes the newborn away.

"If we break that bond that was never made," one TDCJ official warned, speaking of the prison offspring, "we're creating a new generation of inmates."

Baby Alexis Nicole Daffern awaits a visit in the prison hospital from her mom, Carla Daffern.
photo by Jana Birchum

It's a tough sell at the Legislature, though. "If you're asking me whether I care that prisoners are not allowed to bond with their babies after birth," said House Corrections Committee member Rep. Pat Haggerty, R-El Paso, "the answer is no."

If all of this sounds a little sad, it is. But there's a kind of silver lining to this particular cloud, something that the state of Texas can recite with pride and shame at the same time. The clinical outcomes for the prisoner moms of TDCJ, measured by birthweights and absence of complications, are as good as in the free population of Texas.

"We take out all the negatives," explains Patricia Blair, a UT Medical Branch School of Nursing professor. Blair is tracking the prisoners' births for an academic study.

Blair, who is also a lawyer, notes that prisoner-moms live in an environment in which everything from nutrition to rest is controlled and supervised. Expectant mothers usually don't miss their prenatal appointments in prison, if only because a guard comes looking for mom if she doesn't show. Illicit drugs and booze are, theoretically, out of reach.

While happy with the good care that TDCJ and the university provides, Blair remarks that it's an odd commentary on the state of prenatal care in Texas that a woman has as good a chance of delivering a healthy baby in prison as in the state's "free world."

She adds that we should all be happy for these healthy babies, because they may have a better life than mom will ever know.

Oops! The following correction ran in our July 23, 2004 issue: In the July 16 News feature "Babies Behind Bars," we referred to "54 prisons and state jails" and to the "Texas Youth Authority." There are actually more than 100 state prison and jail facilities, and the correct title is "Texas Youth Commission." The Chronicle regrets the errors.

ic Teesside - Bond that can't be broken

2004-08-01T14:54:00.000-04:00

ic Teesside - Bond that can't be broken

Bond that can't be broken Jul 14 2004

By Barbara Argument, Evening Gazette

Thousands of "lost children" adopted as babies are desperately searching for their birth roots.

Paul Mallet is one of them. He believes someone, somewhere in Middlesbrough holds the breakthrough clue to help him find his mother.

Paul Mallet is in a crucial race against time to find the teenage mum forced to give him up for adoption.

He knows every year ticked off makes the reunion less likely.

And at the age of 42, Paul is determined to find his Middlesbrough mum before it is too late.

Driving him on is a heartbreaking letter from the frightened 16-year-old who handed him over for adoption.

The letter, written on July 2, 1962, from her home in Grove Hill, is awash with the pain of her unbearable loss.

In it, teenager Barbara begs pitifully to be allowed to see her beautiful baby son for one last time. (We are not revealing her full name at this stage).

She had cared for him from his birth on March 21 until he was handed over to adoptive parents on May 9 and the bond of love is plain to see.

"Please don't think that I want to take him away from the adoptees because I know what it is to lose him," writes the teenager.

"I should hate to upset them after they had waited so long for a child.

"But I don't feel as if I had a last look at him because my mother took him from me in the waiting room.

"Even if it is after the three months when I shall have no legal right to him, I should still like more than anything to see him just once more."

She wants to know if the adoptive parents will keep the name she gave him - Christopher. Or will they change it?

What does he weigh? Has he started to sit up? And has he any teeth?

They are the normal everyday questions that worry and concern every loving new mum.

Only young Barbara knows she will never again cuddle her baby or see him grow up through all the landmark childhood achievements. And she is aching with the pain.

"Would they mind very much letting me have a photograph?" she asks politely.

"A fortnight ago, I started working at the General Hospital here and I am liking it very much.

"When I'm not in the children's outpatients department, I go on to the children's ward.

"I feed many babies, but I've yet to see one as beautiful as Christopher."

When Paul was able to read the letter for the first time a few years ago, he was reduced to tears.

"You will understand why," he says. "I think she was persuaded to give me up and really didn't want to."

But Barbara had the misfortune to have her baby in straight-laced times.

Her family was ashamed and sent her away to give birth in secret at Stockton-in-the-Forest, near York.

Then, when her 'Christopher' arrived, there was only one realistic choice for despairing Barbara.

She had to give away the beautiful baby boy. The confidential letter of reply with a photograph was kind, but firmly to the point.

"Isn't it a lovely photograph?" the writer asks. "Christopher is very fit and well and is a great joy and source of wonderment to his adopting parents.

"He is a happy, good-natured little boy. As you can see he has a lot of hair, described as almost blond, with grey eyes and, as yet, no teeth."

And then the words that no doubt cut deeply into Barbara's wounded heart.

"He wakes up 'talking' in the mornings and lays all cosily tucked up until his daddy or mummy goes to fetch him, then they are greeted like long lost friends."

'Christopher' grew up as Paul Mallet in an RAF family who finally settled at Burton Fleming, in North Yorkshire. He went to boarding school at nine years old and university in Nottingham.

Now with twin boys, Oliver and Joshua, he lives in a Leicestershire village and is managing director of his own company.

"Searching for my mother was something I'd always thought about doing - some day in the future," he says.

"Then my adoptive father died and suddenly I realised time didn't stretch ahead for ever.

"Then there was this play on TV starring Julie Walters called 'My Beautiful Son' and it really hit home.

"I realised I had got to the stage when people are ageing and die and if I was going to look, it had to be now.

"I had felt it would somehow be disloyal to my adoptive parents, but since my father died, I felt the time was right."

The difficulty for Paul was where to start with the flimsy evidence he had.

He went to the Public Records Library in Birmingham and began trawling microtape after microtape, for hour after hour, for days on end.

Through records, birth and marriage certificates, he discovered Barbara had married again, to an RAF man and had given birth to a daughter.

He searched the electoral role on the Internet and sent 800 letters to every man of that name in the area he was from.

He thought he had tracked him down and was told the family were now in Australia. "But basically I was palmed off over and over again," says Paul.

"I believe I have the right man, but there is such an atmosphere of suspicion there nobody wants to talk. It was very disheartening."

And then there is the letter. "It has always been a question of sensitivities and going public," says Paul.

"But I need to find her and I do believe there will be those in the Teesside area who remember Barbara and the family.

"She might not be aware that I want to find her and she might not know there is an adoption register which puts parents and children in touch with each other.

"The difficulty is both have to register and though I have, she hasn't.

"Then there is the question of whether she is embarrassed or if she's told her new family.

"But the world is a very different place now and this is a chance for everyone to put things right.

"I cannot go on dwelling on this, I need to find her.

"I am the sort of person who will only give up when I have done absolutely everything to the best of my ability. And unless I do this, I know I haven't.

"I have to try everything to find her or I couldn't live with myself because I am not the sort of person to give in."

* If you believe you can help Paul in his search, e-mail: barbara.argument@eveninggazette.co.uk or phone 01642 234217.

Born Christopher Richard, March 21, 1962, Fulford Maternity Hospital, York.

Mother's name Barbara, born, 1944. "Medium height, hazel eyes, mid-brown hair."

Her address was Grove Hill, Middlesbrough, and she was a trained shorthand typist.

Paul believes his grandma was widowed when her husband died at the age of 39 of cancer. Barbara was six years old.

He thinks Barbara became a trainee nurse at Middlesbrough General Hospital in May or June 1962.

Actress Pauline Collins gave up a daughter for adoption more than 25 years ago. She wrote a book about the experience called Letter to Louise

MP Clare Short was reunited with the son she gave up for adoption as a student.

Pauline Prescott wife of the deputy Prime Minister John Prescott was reunited with the son she gave up for adoption. The politician was praised for the way he accepted him into their family.

Top

Perspective Adoptees seek access law to provide a ?sense of self? BY GLORIA STRAVELLI Staff Writer

2004-08-01T14:51:00.000-04:00

Perspective Adoptees seek access law to provide a ?sense of self? BY GLORIA STRAVELLI Staff Writer

For decades, information as basic as their mothers’ and fathers’ names, their true nationality and cultural heritage has been denied to adoptees in New Jersey.

"I’ve done nothing wrong, I’ve committed no crime, so there’s no reason for me or my mother to be kept apart by the law," said Thomas McGee recently. "Everybody has the right to at least know who their mother and father are."

Adopted when he was 4 months old, McGee is denied the civil right most others take for granted — access to his original birth certificate.

"The law treats me as though I’m somehow unworthy of having this basic information," the Oceanport resident said
Under existing New Jersey law, meant to protect the privacy of birth mothers, adoptees are blocked from seeing that document and are given instead an amended, post-adoption version that expunges the names of biological parents and substitutes those of the adoptive parents.

McGee, 55, testified June 4 before the state Senate Health, Human Services and Senior Citizens Committee, urging lawmakers to pass a bill that would give adoptees access to their original birth certificate and the information it provides about their origins, including the identity of their birth mothers and fathers.

"The flip side of creating a family is that another family ceases to exist," explained McGee, the father of two. "I’d like to know who I am. It’s not the government’s role to be the final arbiter between adults. It makes me feel that somehow I’m not trusted with this information — who I am and where I’ve come from. It’s impossible to convey to the people who don’t walk in our shoes what that feels like."

The legislation, S-1093, would amend existing statutes that have blocked adoptees’ access to birth information for the past six decades. Advocates for adoption reform estimate the records of some 150,000 adoptees in New Jersey are sealed.

The proposed bill, which gives access to birth records to adults over 18 and gives the birth mother the option of being contacted or not, is the subject of intense lobbying by opposing factions.

Proponents of adoption reform include the American Adoption Congress (AAC) and its affiliate, the New Jersey Coalition for Adoption Reform and Education (NJCARE).

The grassroots groups advocate for honesty in adoption on behalf of adoptees, birth parents and adoptive parents. They argue that the existing law passed in 1941 reflects the social attitudes of the time and denies New Jersey-born adoptees equal rights under the law.

According to Jane Nast, an adoptive parent and past AAC president, the groups have been trying to roll back the existing law for two decades. Nast, of Chatham, said the Senate bill moved out of committee last week and reform advocates are lobbying for support prior to a full Senate vote. In addition to NJCARE, social workers and representatives of two major adoption agencies testified in favor of the bill, she said.

The process will be repeated in the Assembly, where reform legislation has twice passed, then failed to gain Senate approval. Opposition to reform, Nast said, continues to come from the Right to Life movement of the Catholic Church and the National Council for Adoption, based in Washington, D.C.

"Right to Life says if the bill passes, birth mothers will have abortions because they don’t want children to find them years later," she said. "There’s no evidence of this.

"The NCFA says adoptive families will be destroyed. That’s crazy," countered Nash, whose two adopted children found, or were found by, their birth mothers. "Our family was not destroyed. It’s the best thing that ever happened."

Chances are good the legislation will make it through both houses this time, Nast said. "Each bill has a two-year life span, and we’re only six months into the bill. We have a year and a half to get it done."

Every state except Alaska and Kansas sealed records, but recently six states have restored access, Nast explained. In Oregon voters passed a public referendum to unseal records and 3,000-8,000 adoptees have accessed their original birth certificates.

"Our bill is based on the Oregon legislation that stipulates the birth parent can file a contact form," Nast said. "Statistics show that when the bill went into effect there in 2000, 460 birth parents filed contact preference forms and only 81 did not want to be contacted. Since that time, birth parents know that if their children want to find them, they can. Nobody is scared of it anymore."

In fact, according to Joe Collins, a private investigator who has conducted more than a thousand searches for adoptees, the great majority of birth mothers he locates are happy to be reunited.

"Most birth mothers, 98 out of 100, want to be found," said Collins, of Morristown, who has testified on behalf of the reform legislation. "Out of 1,400 families I have reunited, I haven’t had more than 35 women say no.

"They don’t feel they have the right to come look for the child because they were told at the time of adoption not to interfere with the child’s life and to go on with their own life," he explained. "But when they’re sought out, they’re quite happy to see how the child turned out and that they did the right thing.

"There’s probably no greater response I can remember than making a phone call to a birth mother and telling her the daughter she had in the 1960s was interested in meeting her and how did she feel about that," Collins said. "She said, ‘I’ve been praying for this phone call for 35 years.’ "

In fact, Walter Akstulewicz of Freehold Township has found an ally in his son’s birth mother. Akstulewicz and his wife, Hedy, adopted Dennis, now 24, when he was 2 months old.

"We told him right from the beginning that he was adopted," Akstulewicz explained. "Every now and then he’d bring it up. It was obvious to us that it was gnawing at him. He would ask, ‘Why did my mother throw me away?’ "

After his wife died four years ago, a friend advised Akstulewicz that the problems his son was experiencing were connected to his adoption issues and referred him to a support group in Morris County.

It was at the Morristown Post-Adoption Support Group that the lives of all four advocates for adoptees’ rights intersected.

The support group, an affiliate of AAC and NJCARE, meets the first Saturday of the month at the Presbyterian Parish House on South Street. Nast is a facilitator of the support group, which can be reached at nj-care.org.

It took Collins only a week to locate Dennis’ birth mother, who responded immediately to a letter from the son she had relinquished while she was still in high school.

"There was a blizzard the day they were supposed to meet," Akstulewicz recounted. "Susan said, ‘I’m coming anyway. I’ve been waiting 24 years.’ "

Now, Dennis’ birth mother and adoptive father stay in touch and work as a team to help keep their son on track.

"She’s treating him like a parent," he said. "He was thrilled that he found her, and she was thrilled she found him. She felt when she gave him up for adoption she gave up the right to find him."

McGee, Mid-Atlantic regional director of the AAC, found the Morristown group shortly after reaching a dead-end in his search for his birth mother.

His parents hadn’t told him he was adopted when a playmate broke the news to McGee, then 5 years old.

"I asked my mother and she said, yes, I had been adopted, and she told me I was special and chosen. At that point it seemed to satisfy me, and it didn’t really start bothering me until adolescence," he said.

"The curiosity had always been there. It was not a matter of replacing my mother and father; I needed to know who I was and where I came from."

By the time he saw an announcement for an adoption support group meeting in Hazlet in 1997, both of McGee’s adoptive parents had died.

At the support group, McGee offered the few details he had — he was born in New York City in 1946 and adopted when he was 4 months old through the Spence Chapin adoption agency.

The facilitator told him he was entitled to non-identifying information about his birth family and could call the agency and request it.

He did, and the information revealed details about his birth mother and her family. Without supplying names, it told him his mother was a young woman not quite 19 years old from a Minnesota farm family, that she was a striking young woman with blond hair and blue eyes, that his maternal grandfather was a Norwegian immigrant

He also learned that in New York State the original birth certificate and the amended post-adoption certificate have the same five-digit number that could be traced through birth indices stored in the genealogy room at the New York Public Library. McGee went and searched the records for 1946.

Births were listed by last name, but that was a piece of information he didn’t have. He pored over columns of names, looking for his birth certificate number and the date March 22.

Finally, he found the entry "Christopherson, Male" on the line with his birth certificate number and thought, "OK, now I know for real that I was born to somebody," he said. "The feeling I had was hard to express."

Three years into the search for his birth mother, McGee had gotten as far as he could on his own and turned to Collins through the Morristown support group.

The week before Christmas 2000, Collins contacted him and said he had located McGee’s birth mother, Dorothy Mae Christopherson Holte, and gave him biographical and contact information for his mother, her parents, and her siblings.

"All of a sudden I had a history, and it was unfolding," said McGee, who has since been reunited with an extended family of some 80-90 siblings, aunts, uncles, nieces, nephews and cousins, and has acquired a family history that dates back to the 1500s.

"They have opened their arms to me and welcomed me as family," he said of the new-found family that includes three half-brothers.

Once he had the contact information, McGee wrestled with the best way to contact his birth mother and decided to begin by contacting the older sister who had accompanied her to New York more than 50 years earlier.

After a few more phone calls, he felt confident enough to reach out and called his mother Jan. 2, 2001.

When he reached her, McGee told her he was adopted and that his search for his birth mother led to her.

"I said, ‘I just want you to know I was placed with a good family, got an education, that you have two beautiful granddaughters,’ " he said.

"I know this is difficult for you. I’ll call back in a few days.’

"She said, ‘Please, do. I prayed for you every day. I’m glad you’re OK.’ "

With their new relationship unfolding slowly, McGee arranged to meet his mother in March 2001. Now 31/2 years into the reunion, he says he is certain he made the right decision by reaching out to his mother.

"This has been a good thing for my mother and for me, and has helped the rest of family to heal and talk about something they’ve never been able to talk about openly," he said.

"This has given me the opportunity to finally have a sense of who I am. I’m OK with having a family heritage. That’s great. That’s my real self. To know where I came from and have all these wonderful people to connect with.

"The whole idea was just to find out who I was, where did I come from," McGee explained, "and in the process, I found me."

Journal Gazette | 07/13/2004 | Absent fathers, beware

2004-08-01T14:45:00.000-04:00

Journal Gazette | 07/13/2004 | Absent fathers, beware

Posted on Tue, Jul. 13, 2004

Absent fathers, beware

A little-known state registry gives the adoptive parents of children whose birth fathers are absent a great deal of protection while offering little to the fathers. And there’s nothing wrong with that.

Niki Kelly’s story Sunday informed readers of the state’s Putative Father Registry.

In theory, the registry gives men who are or believe they may be the father of a child born out of wedlock an opportunity to challenge any adoption of that child.

In practice it prevents men who didn’t sign up from later challenging an adoption in court.

Many such fathers may not even know the registry exists. That’s what happened to an Indianapolis man when the mother of his child, a Warsaw woman, asked the court to allow her husband to adopt her daughter. An appeals court last year upheld the adoption, even though the Indianapolis man never knew he could have registered, giving him the right to later fight the adoption.

The registry applies only if the father has never established paternity. And the state makes valid efforts to inform such fathers of the registry.

By law, notices of the registry are posted in license branches, hospitals and health department offices.

The Fort Wayne-Allen County Board of Health offers registry forms to men who come to sign affidavits declaring paternity. (Fathers register through the local or state board of health.)

In other words, any father who remotely shows involvement in his child’s birth has plenty of notice of the registry. Any father who legally establishes paternity has rights to protest an adoption. Any father who does neither should not be entitled to fight an adoption.

Such absent fathers should have no legal standing to stop a mother who wants to allow a new mate or another couple to adopt her child.

Boston.com / News / Local / Mass. / A homeland, through a lens

2004-08-01T01:59:00.000-04:00

Boston.com / News / Local / Mass. / A homeland, through a lens

THIS STORY HAS BEEN FORMATTED FOR EASY PRINTING

A homeland, through a lens
Photographer goes back to Vietnam
By Bridget Samburg, Globe Correspondent | July 11, 2004

Anh Dao Kolbe's mother gave her a camera when she 7, and she's been carrying it around ever since. "It was the perfect security blanket as a child," says Kolbe, 33, admitting she was shy .

Kolbe took her lens to Vietnam several years ago on her first trip back to her birthplace, following three decades as an adoptee from Saigon.

With Greek and German parents and a childhood spent in New YorkQatar, Oman, and England, Kolbe says, "I've had such a multicultural background that it's been hard to hold on to one culture. I had quietly hoped that going to Vietnam would make me more Vietnamese, whatever that means."

Much of what she found -- or saw through her camera -- is in the exhibit ''Misplaced Baggage" at the Brookline Arts Center through Friday.

The photographs represent two months of Kolbe's travels throughout Vietnam, which included finding the orphanages where she spent time as a baby. Now living in Brookline, Kolbe says she's never looked for her birth parents but was hoping, with her trip to Vietnam, to find a connection to her birth country.

"It's only in recent years that I've been running toward my culture," says Kolbe, adding that she was committed to traveling first as a photographer and second as a Vietnamese woman. "There were moments when it felt real and moments when it felt surreal."

At times she was mistaken for a native, even though she doesn't speak the language; at others she felt as much like an outsider as any tourist might.

Kolbe says she was looking to capture everyday life and people in Vietnam. With a self-described photojournalistic style, Kolbe took about 5,000 pictures, of which 20 are on exhibit.

Kolbe is also in the early stages of putting together a book of her photographs. "The photos say a lot by themselves," she says, adding that she doesn't expect to write much. "I feel like the purpose is to be a bearer of witness."

''Misplaced Baggage" is on exhibit at the Brookline Arts Center, 86 Monmouth St., Brookline, open weekdays 9 a.m.-4:30 p.m. Anh Dao Kolbe will be present 6:30-8 p.m. Friday to talk about her photos and experiences.

© Copyright 2004 The New York Times Company

Rocky Mountain News: Local

2004-08-01T01:49:00.000-04:00

Rocky Mountain News: Local

Safe Haven laws' usefulness debated
By Gwen Florio, Rocky Mountain News
July 10, 2004

Colorado's law allowing mothers to leave newborns in safe places without fear of reprisal was supposed to save the lives of infants such as the three found abandoned in Denver in two weeks. Two were dead; one died after three days on life support.

Liz McDonough, of the Colorado Department of Human Services, said nine babies have been left in safe places since the law was passed in 2000.

LancasterOnline.com: Biological father argues for triplets born to surrogate

2004-08-01T01:39:00.000-04:00

LancasterOnline.com: Biological father argues for triplets born to surrogate

LancasterOnline.com
Biological father argues for triplets born to surrogate

Published: Jul 29, 2004 8:24 PM EST

ERIE, Pa. (AP) - A judge said he will rule this fall on whether a surrogate mother who gave birth to triplets, or the biological father who hired her, will get final custody of the children.

Erie County Judge Shad Connelly heard two hours of testimony on Thursday from Danielle Bimber, 30, a married homemaker from Corry who gave birth to and has had primary custody of the triplets since November, and James O. Flynn, 62, the biological father of the boys. Thursday's proceeding concluded a custody hearing that had been continued from an all-day proceeding July 9.

Bimber signed a $20,000 contract to give birth to the embryos created using Flynn's sperm and an egg from an anonymous donor.

Bimber took the children home from the Hamot Medical Center in Erie against Flynn's wishes eight days after they were born. Bimber said she did that because Flynn and his fiancee didn't visit the children for six days after seeing the children Nov. 19 when they were born.

Flynn, a college professor from Kirtland, Ohio, said Bimber just wants the children to get money from him. Bimber said she's concerned for the triplets, because she said Flynn and his fiance have no emotional bond with the children.

Connelly said he'll rule after attorneys for both sides submit written arguments in mid-September. Because Pennsylvania has no law governing custody of surrogates, Connelly has said he'll base his decision on the children's best interests.

—

CBS 4 Denver: Lawmaker Raises Awareness About Safe Haven Law

2004-08-01T01:36:00.000-04:00

CBS 4 Denver: Lawmaker Raises Awareness About Safe Haven Law

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Lawmaker Raises Awareness About Safe Haven Law

Jul 9, 2004 12:33 pm US/Mountain
DENVER (News 4) State lawmakers want to make more women aware of Colorado's Safe Haven law, News 4 reports.

On Friday, the woman who got the bill passed now is pushing an awareness program.

The Safe Haven law allows for women to leave babies at a fire station or hospital within 72 hours of birth.

They can relenquish parental rights without facing prosecution.

State Rep. Gayle Berry said it's time to raise public awareness about the bill.

"We're not encouraging mothers to abandon their babies, we're encouraging them to save the lives of those babies," Berry said. "It's better to be a baby who is abandoned and to wonder who your parents are than to never have that option.

Berry said that since the law was passed in 2000, nine babies have been safely left in appropiate care.

Illinois Conservative Politics

2004-08-01T01:34:00.000-04:00

Illinois Conservative Politics

Not anti-adoption, just pro-truth

Friday, July 09, 2004

I have been following the exchange of letters on abortion and adoption, and feel I must comment. Like Sandy Young, I am a mother who surrendered a child to adoption in the late 60s, when this was presented as the choice for white unwed mothers from "nice" families.

I fully agree that shame was the major factor involved, and that this shame came from society, family, and others who would cast the first stone. Abortion was never a consideration for me, and would not have been a choice I seriously considered, legal or not. I have always found abortion morally repugnant and am personally pro-life, although I would not join either pro-life or pro-choice groups because of the lies and hidden agendas on both sides.

I am sure that if I had been somehow talked into having an abortion I would feel great guilt and regret. I am more than willing to listen and commiserate with women who have had abortions that they regret, and to acknowledge that their pain is long-lasting and real. I would not call them neurotic, or the exception to the rule, or point out that abortion was no problem and a good thing for other women.

I would ask that they, and you, grant me as a birthmother that same grace of not denigrating, denying, or trying to cover up the very real pain and guilt that I and women like me suffer as a result of surrender to adoption.

Both abortion and adoption surrender are events of pain and loss, and mark a mother forever. It is intellectually dishonest to allow women who regret abortions a voice, while at the same time denying the equal pain of mothers who have given up a child. In fact, many of the effects are the same; overwhelming guilt, depression, difficulty with intimacy and trust, low self-esteem, exaggerated fears that subsequent children will be somehow taken away, and a general feeling of unworthiness and dread that friends and family would turn away if the "awful secret" of surrender were known.

Mothers who were never supposed to know if their child was dead or alive really do not have an easier time than those who have had abortions.

No, nobody dies when a child is surrendered, and some of us are lucky enough for a second chance at reunion years later, I am one of these fortunate mothers, and soon hope to meet my son with whom I have been in contact for a while. But others are not so lucky, and find that the child they surrendered is dead, or very much damaged, or rejecting of the mother who went away. The damage of years of living with all the bad effects of surrender has already been done, and reunions do not fix everything.

I am not anti-adoption. In some cases, it is the lesser evil; in others, it is the greater good. The fact that I should have been helped to keep my child does not mean that nobody should ever surrender, or that adoption is not the better choice in some cases. Not all adoptions turn out badly, nor are all adoptions a fairytale perfect solution. Honesty demands telling the whole truth; not slanting it to pursue any cause, pro-life or pro-choice.

In some open adoptions that stay open, the loss and suffering for both adoptee and birthmother are less traumatic and more healing is possible. But adoption should never be sugar-coated as an easy fix with no pain and no regrets. It should not even be considered unless a mother and her family, or the father's family, are truly unable or unwilling to raise the child.

A mother considering abortion, adoption, or raising her child should know about the long-term impact of all choices, in order to make a truly informed decision. Only by telling all the truth will those who are truly pro-life, not just pro-adoption, earn respect for their cause.

Mary Anne Manning Cohen
Whippany, NJ

Politics News Article | Reuters.com

2004-08-01T01:29:00.000-04:00

Politics News Article | Reuters.com

WASHINGTON (Reuters) - For a few moments on Thursday, the only sounds in the U.S. Senate chamber were the sobs of a grieving father.

Oregon Republican Gordon Smith took the floor to introduce a youth suicide prevention bill named after his own dead son.

"He saw only despair ahead and felt only pain in his present. Pain and despair so potent that he sought suicide as a release. As a release," Smith said, recalling his son Garrett, who killed himself in his college apartment last September, one day before his 22nd birthday.

Smith recalled a "beautiful child, a handsome baby boy" that he and his wife Sharon adopted a few days after birth. He had vast intellectual gifts but struggled with learning disabilities, dyslexia, and bipolar disorder, sometimes called manic depression, Smith said.

The chamber was almost empty as Smith began to speak, as he lamented that there is "no owner's manual to help you bury a child, especially when the cause is suicide."

But by the time he had finished, several colleagues had lined up to embrace him. And two rose to tell of the suicides of their own fathers.

Nevada Democrat Harry Reid recalled attending Garrett's funeral, and hearing everyone speak so openly about the suicide. After his own father shot himself, Reid said, he was too ashamed to discuss it for years.

If a bill like Smith's had been in effect when his father was a young man, Reid said, "my dad may not have had all the problems that he had as he proceeded through life."

Oklahoma Republican Don Nickles also rose to say his father too had killed himself. "I'm not going to go into the details," he said. "But it's a lot of pain."

Endorsing Smith's $60 million bill, Nickles said, "I have no doubt as a result of us passing this legislation, we'll end up saving a lot of lives, maybe thousands of lives." The bill would help states develop prevention strategies and fund more mental health services on college campuses.

More than 30,000 Americans kill themselves each year and suicide is the third-leading cause of death for people aged 10-24.

New Mexico Republican Pete Domenici, who has been very public about his daughter's struggle with schizophrenia, had gone home early, but threw on a suit and dashed back to the Senate to sympathize with Smith. Domenici said he would make another push for the bill he's advocated for years that would require health insurers to treat serious mental illness the same way they treat physical illness and lashed out at fellow Republicans who had anonymously used a procedural move to block it. "I don't know who you are yet," said Domenici, "but I'll find out."

Safe Haven established for unwanted babies

2004-08-01T01:23:00.000-04:00

Safe Haven established for unwanted babies

Safe Haven established for unwanted babies
Wednesday, July 07, 2004

By Margaret Smykla, Tri-State Sports & News Service

A mandatory statewide program instituted recently at Jefferson Regional Medical Center in Jefferson Hills offers a Safe Haven to newborns at risk for abuse, abandonment and even death.

It enables a parent to turn over an infant whom the parent is unable or unwilling to care for to a hospital without fear of criminal prosecution, provided the baby is not a victim of abuse or criminal conduct.

The child cannot be more than 28 days old, and the parent can remain anonymous under the Newborn Protection Act.

The child is placed within the county's Office of Children, Youth and Families after receiving any needed medical care.

Parental rights are formally terminated, and a new family is sought. A parent who gives up a baby and later has a change of mind would be referred to CYF.

"We felt strongly that we needed to go through some legislative process as a way to protect children from abuse and death, and as a way to give these kids a fair start," said Stacey Ward, spokeswoman for the state Department of Public Welfare.

The department's Office of Children, Youth and Families oversees the program, which swung into operation earlier this year.

Two infants have been received, one in Clarion County in March, and the other in York County in April.

Both children currently reside in preadoptive homes.

Yet, parents are strongly encouraged to go through the formal foster care system to provide medical histories and health problem information on the child and families.

"But if that is not an option, then we're happy to have this program available," Ward said.

At Jefferson, pink and blue signs direct the parent to a back door in the emergency room area.

"We took extreme measures to protect the mother's anonymity," said Karen Kunak, director of emergency services.

There, by the door of what also serves as the grieving room, is a bassinet for placing the baby, quilts and a small clip board with questions for the parent concerning heredity and family medical history.

The questionnaire can be filled out then, or returned via mail.

A press of a button dials the phone number of a charge nurse 24 hours a day and alerts the nurse to the presence of the infant. The parent can remain on the phone, or simply leave.

All 20 hospitals in the UPMC system in southwestern Pennsylvania have similar Safe Haven programs.

Kunak said Jefferson would conduct education programs in local high schools in the fall about Safe Haven.

PRESS RELEASE: Embryo Adoption Study Flawed

2004-08-01T01:14:00.000-04:00

PRESS RELEASE: Embryo Adoption Study Flawed

Embryo Adoption Study Flawed
"Mom, why did you give me up?" is the usual question an adoptee asks when meeting her natural mother. But with embryo adoption, the question will be "Mom and dad, why did you donate me?" A woman who gives birth to a baby adopted as an embryo from another couple then implanted and gestated in her own womb may feel like the child is her real offspring. Will a couple who adopts in this way be prepared for the realities of adoption? Will the embryo benefit from being unfrozen and "saved" by adoption?

Marion, IA (PRWEB) July 6, 2004 -- Fiona MacCallum, research psychologist at the Family and Child Psychology Centre, City University, London, UK recently presented the results of a study on embryo adoption at the 20th annual conference of the European Society of Human Reproduction and Embryology. In this study, 21 adopters were interviewed when the children they had adopted as embryos were still only two to five years old. The study shows two-thirds of the adopters plan to continue to lie to these children about their own origins forever. On the basis of factors such as the warmth of caregiving, the quality of the care given and the behavioral and emotional functioning of the still very young children, MacCallum drew the conclusion that "...it is the level of commitment to parenting that is important, and not the presence or absence of biological links between parent and children".

Given the young age of the adoptees in this study, MacCallum's conclusion that the natural family and biological factors are unimportant to the child's development and identity is highly irresponsible. An adoptee's awareness of his own unrelatedness to his adopters evolves with the stages of his development. Commitment or love on the adoptive caregiver's part does not make up for the effects of adoption the adoptee experiences throughout her life. With the exception that they will not have the traumatic separation from their mother at the time of birth, embryo-adopted adoptees will face many of the same issues as other adoptees.

Experts acknowledge that adoptees have problems and propose openness in adoption rather than the secrecy of the closed adoption system in order to alleviate their suffering. The National Adoption Information Clearinghouse website information on the history of open adoption quotes: "Beginning in 1974, research demonstrates that some of the psychological problems observed in adolescent and adult adoptees...appeared to be directly related to the secrecy, anonymity, and sealed records of adoption." (Baran and Pannor, 1993)

A woman who gives birth to a baby adopted as an embryo from another couple then implanted and gestated in her own womb may feel more like the child is her real offspring. Will a couple that adopts in this way and tries to maintain the fantasy that this is their real offspring be prepared to assist the child through the realities of adoption?

Although the hurt of having been lied to about something as fundamental as your own identity is great, few adoptees are surprised to find out they are adopted – they have seen clues all along. Their personalities, interests, looks and even gestures differ from their adopters. Patty Schlossberg, a 39-year-old adoptee, states: "Until my natural family found me, I felt no connection with the rest of the world. I felt different, looked different, acted different. Even when I tried to be like my adopters, I couldn't say it right, couldn't walk right, couldn't talk right, didn't wear the right clothes. I felt like I stuck out like a sore thumb at home and even at school and work... Reality hits adopters eventually when they realize they can't 'mold' their adoptee to their needs or liking. There is a sense of disappointment on the part of adopters when they realize the adoptee can never be a replacement for the child they were unable to conceive."

The secrecy and lies of adoption build dysfunction into an adoptive situation. The denial of the adoptee's roots may protect the adopter's fantasy of "parenthood" but it contributes to the adoptee's problems. Having been told they are "better off" and expected to be grateful many adoptees don't associate their unrelated status and the denial of their origins with the other problems they experience in their lives. Some come to the realization in their later years that the secrecy and lies, not to mention a lack of knowledge of their updated medical history, has affected their lives greatly.

There has been a rapid growth in post-adoption services to manage adoption-related problems. Services include support, counseling, search for relatives separated by adoption, search for medical information, and even tours to China and Korea for adoptees with the misfortune of having been separated not only from their family but also from their culture.

As with donor insemination adoptees and other adoptees, if they are not told the truth, embryo adoptees may unknowingly date or even marry their own siblings or other relative.

Embryo adoption does not replace the adoptee's heritage and at the very least, if people insist on playing "God", they should find out as much as possible about the true parents and family including identifying information so they can find them and help their adoptees later. The effects of adoption and the need for information extend into future generations as well.

The natural parents should consider carefully the effects on their potential offspring. As human beings, people have an inherent need to feel rooted and connected. A great many adoptees are looking for healing for problems related to adoption. "Saving" an embryo only to create an adoptee who is being lied to by the people who should be supportive of them is a serious issue.

"Mom, why did you give me up?" is the usual question an adoptee asks when meeting her natural mother. But with embryo adoption, the adoptee in reunion will be looking at the emotional security of the kept siblings asking "Mom and dad, why did you donate me?" Then, will the natural parents develop post-traumatic stress and delayed but intense grieving reactions just like other natural parents who have gone before them? Or will they feel little connection and identify so much with the adopters that they cannot even recognize their own child's pain?

Laurie Frisch
Marion, IA

"Protecting the Rights of Mothers and Natural Families"

IOL: Crime & Courts

2004-08-01T01:08:00.000-04:00

IOL: Crime & Courts

This story has nothing to do with adoption but it's moving.

The curse of rape, visited upon children
Solly Maphumulo
July 05 2004 at 04:05AM

I was 14 years old when it started. We were living on a farm near Tom Burke close to the Botswana border where I attended a local school.

One afternoon I came back from school when I saw the farmer's car parked in the bush. He called me and told me to come with him. When I refused he pointed a gun at me and said 'I want to have sex with you'. He said I must lie down on the ground. Then he raped me.

I was confused and very, very scared. I did not know where to go for help. It happened almost every afternoon after that. He said he would kill me if I told his wife or his wife's father.

I could not tell my parents. I knew if I told them, my father was going to be fired and my whole family would suffer. My father needed his job to support us. I decided to endure the pains.

'I was confused and very, very scared'
It was a gruesome experience and I did not want to discuss it with anyone, not even my mother. I thought nobody would believe me because everyone respected him and called him 'baas'. I was still a virgin when he raped me. I can't remember how many times he did it. I told him he was hurting me but he did not care.

I became withdrawn and ashamed to play with my peers thinking they knew what had happened to me.

My buttocks ached so much that I could not walk properly. If my mom asked why I was limping I would tell her that I had hurt my foot while playing netball.

The man was old enough to be my father but he did not feel sorry for me when I cried. Every afternoon he would drag me into the bush and make me lie on the ground. I hated sex, but I did not have a choice. I wanted to run away but I did not know where to go.

A year later I fell pregnant. I knew my parents were going to find out. I told the farmer I was pregnant.

'I hate my father and I am angry with him'
He asked me not tell my parents that he was the father. He told me he was going to pay my school fees and support the child. He pleaded with me not to tell his wife because he said she was going to leave him.

But when I was eight months pregnant, my parents became suspicious. I was vomiting and my mom asked me why I was vomiting every time I had eaten. Then I had to tell my parents and our community why I had 'slept with a white man'.

I told my father how his boss had raped me and threatened to kill me. My father became very angry and confronted the farmer. My father was fired immediately and ordered to leave the farm. I could not face the community. I could not make them understand that it was not my fault.

I gave birth to a baby girl soon after we left the farm. We went to live in a nearby village. After my daughter was born, the small village was abuzz with the news.

It was difficult for me to take my baby for a walk. I had to keep her indoors. I was always unhappy because people laughed at me and blamed me.

People said it was a disgrace to give birth to a white child. Even today they still ridicule me and my daughter.

The mother's sorrows, it seems, were also passed on to her child, who is now grown up and who says the following about her own life:

"Growing up in the village is not easy. My playmates tease me and call me 'that white girl'. I am now 15 (years old) and in Grade 7. I try to explain to them I am not the one to blame but they won't stop. I can't explain to them that my mother was raped by a white man. They continue to laugh at me. I am always crying at school. Nobody likes me," she said.

"I hate my father and I am angry with him for what he did to my mother. I want him to support me and pay my school fees. I don't know why he stopped paying for my maintenance. My mother is a domestic worker and earns peanuts. I want to go to a multiracial school, maybe I will be comfortable there," she added.

The farmer reputedly said that he could no longer pay maintenance because his wife would find out what happened 15 years ago. The mother says the farmer has two other children with another former domestic worker.

The farmer lives in Botswana now. No charges were ever brought against him.

TheBostonChannel.com - Politics - 'Safe Haven' Bill Signed Into Law

2004-08-01T01:00:00.000-04:00

TheBostonChannel.com - Politics - 'Safe Haven' Bill Signed Into Law

'Safe Haven' Bill Signed Into Law
Bill Allows Parents To Leave Infants With Authorities

POSTED: 11:29 am EDT July 30, 2004
UPDATED: 11:31 am EDT July 30, 2004

BOSTON -- Lt. Gov. Kerry Healey will sign into law Friday a bill allowing new parents to safely leave infants with state authorities rather than abandon them on doorsteps.

The so-called "safe haven" law designates places, including hospitals, fire stations and police departments, where parents can anonymously leave a baby within seven days of birth without facing legal repercussions.

Similar bills died in the Legislature in recent years, but two recent case of abandoned babies drew increased attention to the issue.

"Baby Vinnie" was left on the steps of a Martha's Vineyard church last month, and survived despite suffering from hypothermia and hypoxia -- a shortage of oxygen.

Another baby was found earlier this week outside a Southampton, Mass., fire station and also survived despite hypothermia.

Safe Haven Available

2004-08-01T00:57:00.000-04:00

Safe Haven Available

Safe Haven Available

The bodies of three different babies have been found in Siouxland in the past several months and that's raising many concerns.

Bodies have been found in Jackson, Norfolk and Macy, Nebraska sending communities into a state of shock.

Two states in the tri-state area have Safe Haven laws. They're laws that make it easy to leave your newborn baby with someone who cares without even leaving your name.

Three babies, all found dead in a matter of months. After days of searching, one was found dumped in a landfill near Jackson, Nebraska. Another in a river that runs through Norfolk, Nebraska. Police found a third baby just last week in a Macy, Nebraska home. Investigators think it was abused. One woman says each body that's found just breaks her heart.

Judi Wiskus, local Social Worker, says, "it really is a living nightmare for me as a social worker. (I'm) horrified, shocked and very concerned that there is evidently no support system for these mothers."

Wiskus says Safe Haven laws in South Dakota and Iowa were created with desperate mothers in mind. The law says newborn babies can be handed over at hospitals, care centers or even nursing homes, no questions asked. Even though the law says those babies should be under 20 days old, Wiskus says age doesn't matter.

"We're not gonna check. You bring us a baby, we're not going to check age on it. You bring us a baby, we're going to take it," Wiskus said.

Nebraska doesn't have a Safe Haven law and so far, the law hasn't been used in Woodbury County. But Wiskus says it's still a much-needed program.

"There is no Safe Haven law in Nebraska at this time. I think with recent events that their state legislature will probably be looking at this, she added.

Babies that are brought under the safe haven law are immediately taken to the emergency room for a check-up. The mother or father then has 30 days to reclaim the baby. After a month, safe haven babies are put up for adoption.

Scotsman.com News - Latest News - China Baby Smuggling Ringleaders Get Death Sentence

2004-08-01T00:48:00.000-04:00

Scotsman.com News - Latest News - China Baby Smuggling Ringleaders Get Death Sentence

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Sat 24 Jul 2004

4:28am (UK)
China Baby Smuggling Ringleaders Get Death Sentence

A court yesterday convicted 52 members of a baby-trafficking gang that smuggled 118 infants for sale in southern China.

The ringleaders were sentenced to death or life in prison.

The case included a highly publicised incident in March 2003, in which 28 baby girls, none older than three months, were found hidden in nylon tote bags aboard a long-distance bus, according to the official Xinhua News Agency.

The case highlighted the scale of China’s thriving black market in babies, and came less than two weeks after police announced the arrests of 95 people in northern China in an unrelated baby-trafficking ring.

In the ruling yesterday, a court in the city of Nanning sentenced gang leaders Xie Deming and Cui Wenxian to death, Xinhua said. Four others were given suspended death sentences – a penalty that is often later commuted to life in prison.

Five gang members received life in prison, while 40 others were sentenced to at least 18 months, Xinhua said. One person was convicted but received no penalty, the report said without explanation.

The ring was based in the city of Yulin in the southern region of Guangxi, one of China’s poorest areas.

Chinese authorities say thousands of children are abducted or bought from poor families every year for sale to childless couples. Girls are sometimes sold as brides in rural areas with fewer women.

The trade is driven in part by China’s birth control policy that limits most couples to one child. The limit prompts some parents to kill baby girls in hopes of trying again for a boy. A purchased child that is registered as adopted doesn’t trigger the large fines or other penalties imposed by the “one child” policy.

According to Xinhua, Xie bought infants from midwives, health care workers or other baby-traffickers in Yulin and passed them on to Cui, who had them smuggled to buyers as far away as northern China.

Babies were drugged to keep them asleep while being smuggled, leading to at least one death, Xinhua said.

Communist authorities – led by Mao Zedong, who famously remarked that women “hold up half the sky” – prided themselves on raising the status of women. Upon taking power in 1949, they ended the pre-war custom of selling unwanted daughters to brothels or as servants.

But the trade has flourished amid looser social controls and tighter enforcement of birth control rules meant to limit the growth of China’s population of 1.3 billion people.

In the case earlier this month, authorities on July 13 announced the arrests of gang members who they said sold 76 infants bought from clinics in the northern city of Hohot, capital of the Inner Mongolia region.

News reports said they were born to migrant women, college students or other unmarried mothers, suggesting that some were sold by their parents.

Latest News:

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Bastards Prevail

2004-05-12T18:24:00.000-04:00

May 12, 2004

CONTACT:

Bastard Nation
The Adoptee Rights Organization
P.O. Box 271672
Houston, TX 77277-1672
1-415-704-3166

BASTARD NATION CELEBRATES NEW HAMPSHIRE LEGISLATIVE VICTORY -- ADULT ADOPTEES REGAIN ACCESS TO THEIR ORIGINAL BIRTH CERTIFICATES

Adult adoptees born and adopted in New Hampshire regained access to their own original, pre-adoption birth certificates following the enactment of Senate Bill 335 by the New Hampshire General Court. The new law will take effect on January 1, 2005, and will allow adult adoptees to receive copies of their original birth certificates upon request, without restriction. The bill's sponsor, Senator Lou D'Allesandro (D-District 20), led the successful legislative campaign and resisted attempts to place restrictions on the legislation, which would have resulted in much more limited access by adult adoptees to their own original birth certificates.

Rep. Janet Allen (R- Dist. 31) and the Deputy Speaker of the New Hampshire House of Representatives, Rep. Michael Whalley (R-Dist. 31), championed the legislation alongside Sen. D'Allesandro. Rep. Allen, an adult adoptee and member of the Legislative Committee of Bastard Nation: The Adoptee Rights Organization, made an impassioned plea for passage on the House floor, citing the fundamental fairness of treating adopted citizens the same as all others with regard to accessing their own government-held birth certificates.

Senate Bill 335 was originally drafted by Paul Schibbelhute, a birth father residing in New Hampshire and member of the New Hampshire grassroots group which supported the legislation alongside a partnership of individuals and national organizations including the American Adoption Congress and Bastard Nation: The Adoptee Rights Organization.

New Hampshire joins Alaska, Kansas, Alabama, and Oregon in providing adult adoptees with unrestricted access to their original birth certificates. Most other nations in the developed world open records to adult adoptees.

Bastard Nation applauds all those who worked hard to enact this law. We encourage the citizens of other states to enact similar legislation, because it's the right thing to do.
For more information on Bastard Nation, the world's largest non-profit group dedicated to ending decades of violations of adoptee rights around the world, with a focus on the U.S. and Canada, visit our web site http://www.bastards.org.
The list owners and Bastard Nation assume no responsibility for the
content of posts. Our policy and U.S. law prohibit the posting of
copyrighted materials without the owner's prior written permission.
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Virginia Courts use Adoptees Birth Certificate to punish gay parents

2004-02-17T00:49:00.000-05:00

http://www.washblade.com/2004/2-13/news/localnews/birth.cfm

Though equipped with other necessary credentials,

Fisher and Davenport lacked the one piece of paper

that would have moved their daughter to an

examining room right away: a Virginia birth certificate

with both Fisher’s and Davenport’s names listed as the

adoptive parents. Although they adopted Kati in

Washington, D.C., where they lived, Kati was born in

Virginia, and they had petitioned the state for a new

birth certificate. But the Virginia Department of Vital

Records had refused.

Judge denies request
A Richmond Circuit Court Judge ruled Feb. 4 that

requiring the state to issue new birth certificates

reflecting the unmarried status of a child’s adoptive

parents from another state contradicts Virginia’s

public policy prohibiting unmarried couples from

adopting. Judge Randall G. Johnson was responding

to a lawsuit filed by the Virginia chapter of the

American Civil Liberties Union in 2002 on behalf of

three gay couples seeking new birth certificates with

both parents’ names on them.“Virginia has a very clear law stating that when the

department of vital records receives a report of

adoption from another state, it must issue a new birth

certificate reflecting the new parents,” said Rebecca

Glenberg, an attorney with the ACLU. “It seemed

nonsensical that the department would take it upon

itself to create exceptions to a very clear statute.

“The importance of this case is twofold: First even if

Virginia chooses not to allow gay adoptions, it

shouldn’t be allowed to thwart other states,” Glenberg

said. “Secondly, Virginia shouldn’t be treating children

differently because of who their parents are.”

Adoption Rejects

2004-02-17T00:22:00.000-05:00

http://www.indystar.com/articles/1/121061-6411-009.html
February 15, 2004

BLOOMINGTON, Ind. -- Diana Lynn Groves presented

herself as a wealthy Christian who cared about

unwanted kids, according to people who dealt with

her.

Children born as far away as Russia and Ethiopia, and

brought to the United States by Americans desperate

for children, wound up in her custody without any

government oversight.

Diana Lynn Groves
Referred to Groves by word of mouth, three families

said they placed their children with her because they

could not cope with the children's severe emotional

and psychological problems. They believed they had

nowhere else to turn.

"We were looking at a lifetime of not sleeping," said

Fazale Rana, who, with his wife, adopted two children

from Mexico and placed them with Groves in 2002.

Investigators say Groves' home on the outskirts of this

college town was no sanctuary.

To control or discipline the children, the 53-year-old

woman would tape their hands to a wall and paddle

them with a tennis racket, the children told

investigators. Groves even placed one girl into a

clothes dryer and turned it on, the children said.

Just Plain Weird

2004-02-17T00:19:00.000-05:00

http://www.yomiuri.co.jp/newse/20040214woc3.htm
I am a 28-year-old housewife and mother of an 8-month-old baby girl.

Recently, my father suddenly visited me and asked me to take care of a baby boy to whom his mistress had given birth. He said the mistress was dead.

I'm already breast-feeding my daughter so I started feeding the boy and taking care of him as well. Naturally, I have become emotionally attached to him, and my husband said he can stay with us.

However, I'm concerned what might happen to the two children psychologically if they find out in the future that they are actually uncle and niece and have both been breast-fed by me.

I want to keep the boy as our son and I have started telling people that he and my daughter are twins.

How can I bring him up properly? Is there any way of making him my own child without his finding out about it in the future? Please give me some advice.

S, Toyama Prefecture

Dear Mrs. S:

Since you want to keep the baby boy your father brought to you and bring him up as your own, adoption is an option.

There is a legal way of making an adopted child look like the natural child on paper, although the child should be under 6. In this case, the relationship between the child and his or her real parents has to be completely terminated, and then the child will not be described as "adopted" in official documents.

However, since your relationship with your father is likely to continue, it is difficult to terminate the relationship between the boy and your father. It, therefore, might be best just to follow normal adoption procedures.

But I don't think it's possible to hide such a secret forever, because the children will find out they are not twins since their birth dates are different.

And you may give birth to more children in the future. Do you think you can always be fair to your adopted son and treat him the same way as you treat your other children?

Also, I wonder how your mother is feeling about the fact that you are taking care of a child who was given birth to your father's mistress.

Bringing up a child requires great responsibility, and emotional attachment can be temporary. I think you should decide whether or not to bring up the boy only after having serious discussions with your husband and parents and thinking about what is best for the child.

Sachie Dohi, lawyer

(from Feb. 11 issue)

Man's frozen sperm is used to impregnate exwife

2004-02-17T00:16:00.000-05:00

http://www.boston.com/news/local/articles/2004/01/31/father_wins_case_against_fertility_clinic

In one of the first legal cases in Massachusetts involving the largely unregulated field of fertility treatment, a Middlesex County jury awarded more than $100,000 yesterday to a Dennis man who said that a Boston fertility clinic impregnated his estranged wife without his permission and should pay his share of child support for his now 7-year-old daughter.

Bill for Open Records In New Hampshire

2004-02-17T00:12:00.000-05:00

http://www.seacoastonline.com/news/02022004/news/73843.htm
The legislation, Senate Bill 335, is being sponsored by Manchester Democratic Sen. Lou D’Allesandro.

"I have two adopted children, and my oldest asked me to put this bill in," D’Allesandro said. "My daughter has had a series of health problems, and maybe if we had had better information (about her birth parents), it could have helped."

Its backers say this bill is a compromise.

An attempt to open to adoptees all of their birth and adoption-related records, including medical records, failed in the House three years ago. Adoption agencies and attorneys said that bill unfairly exposed birth parents who expected that their identities would be forever confidential.

This session, the Catholic Church has come out against the bill, D’Allesandro said. "The Catholic Church is opposed to this because they think it could lead to an increase in things they oppose," he said.

The church is allegedly concerned that if the bill passes and mothers who are now considering adoption know that their children could locate them sometime in the future, they may choose abortion over adoption, the senator said.

More about Marshallese Baby Market

2004-02-17T00:03:00.000-05:00

Pacific Business News (Honolulu) - January 26, 2004
http://pacific.bizjournals.com/pacific/stories/2004/01/26/story1.html
Hawaii's role as a lucrative Marshallese baby market has gained national exposure, bringing to light potential abuses that some say the United States has ignored for years.

But U.S. officials are taking action to stop the now-illegal practice of coercing Marshallese mothers to fly to Hawaii and other states under a U.S. visa-free entry agreement to give up their babies for adoption.

U.S. acts to end adoption abuses
The amended Compacts of Free Association -- which allows Pacific Islanders unrestricted access to residence, employment, education and health care without a visa -- was signed by U.S. President George W. Bush Dec. 17 with a clause specifically to end potential abuses in the American adoption of Marshallese children.

Current Adoption Policy and Practice -a comparison between North America and Australia

2004-01-25T20:20:00.000-05:00

Current Adoption Policy and Practice -

a comparison between North America and Australia

Introduction

I am often asked about current adoption policy and

practice in Australia and how this differs from policy

and practice in North America. Although I have never

worked in a situation where adoptions were actually

taking place, I have had considerable experience in

post-adoption services for the last fifteen years and, in

that time, I have counselled many whose lives have

been affected by adoption. I have also been able to

acquire some understanding of current adoption

policy and practice from colleagues in the field. During

my visits to North America and through my contacts

with colleagues there, I have also gained some

background information on current adoption

practices in North America. It seems to me that there

are fundamental differences between what I

perceive to be happening with domestic adoptions in

Australia and what I perceive to be happening with

domestic adoptions in North America.

I recognise that adoption policy is, in both places,

subject to state rather than federal legislation and so

there are variations in policy and practice from state

to state. My comments are, therefore, of a general

nature only, as I appreciate that there are many local

variations. I am most familiar, of course, with policy and

practice in my home state of South Australia, but I am

aware that most other states in Australia operate in

similar ways. Adoption policy and practice in South

Australia are based on the South Australian Adoption

Act (1988) and have been in effect since that act

was passed in 1989. Since 1989, it has been possible to

appraise and monitor the outcomes of this legislation

and the act was officially reviewed in 1994. At that

time, submissions were invited from members of the

public, as well as groups with an interest in adoption.

Some minor alterations to the act were made on the

basis of this review and there have been no official

moves to make any alterations to the legislation since

that time.

South Australia was the first state in Australia to put in

place adoption legislation which seeks to protect and

support the relationship between a newborn child and

his or her families of origin, as well as allowing equal

access to adoption information when the adopted

child becomes an adult. Other states have followed

with similar adoption acts.

Adoption agencies

Private adoptions are illegal in all states in Australia. All

domestic adoptions are enacted by State

Government departments. There are no

commercially-based adoption agencies which are

licensed to manage these adoptions, which means

that there are no payments of any kind connected to

the adoptions of these children.

In contrast, in North America, private adoption

agencies are licensed to arrange domestic adoptions.

Because adoption has been allowed to acquire a

commercial status in North America, there are financial

advantages for agencies in arranging as many

adoptions as possible. Agencies in North America,

therefore, have an incentive to attract customers, just

as any other business does.

Many people have expressed to me that they find the

fact that money and children change hands in the

same transactions to be at the very least distasteful, if

not, in fact, immoral.

Expectant mothers

Expectant mothers in Australia, regardless of their

circumstances, are generally encouraged and

supported to prepare for raising their children. After

the birth, a Parenting Payment is available from the

Federal Government to anyone, regardless of their

gender or marital status, who is a permanent resident

of Australia and who has custody of a child. This

payment, which is means-tested, is a recognition by

the Australian government that children are the basis

of a country’s future. The government, therefore,

makes financial support available to parents to assist

them to provide for their children. As far as I am

aware, there is no corresponding payment available

at a Federal Government level in North America,

although I have been advised that there may be tax

benefits for parents who are in paid employment.

While there is still a degree of disapproval in some

quarters towards single parenthood, there is a much

greater level of acceptance in Australia than there

was in the past. This has resulted in a dramatic

decrease in the number of adoptions in Australia over

the last thirty years. Last year in the state of South

Australia (which has a population of more than two

million people), for example, only one Australian-born

child was adopted.

The term ‘birthmother’ (or ‘birth mother’) is currently

out of favour with many of the support groups in

Australia and certainly would never be used, as I have

heard it used in North America, to describe an

expectant mother. I have even heard the term

‘birthmother-to-be’ used to describe a pregnant

woman. This sinister use of the term ‘birthmother’,

before the birth has even taken place, implies that the

separation of mother and child is a foregone

conclusion. Expectant mothers in Australia, on the

other hand, are generally encouraged to

concentrate on their approaching motherhood

throughout their pregnancies and no decisions

regarding their child’s future are expected to be

made until after the birth has occurred. This is an

acknowledgement of the fact that it is not possible for

a mother to know how she will feel about her child until

after the child has been born.

Expectant fathers

I know that, in North America, fathers who are not

married to the mothers of their children have a difficult

time being heard. In South Australia, an unmarried

mother who is considering adoption will always be

asked to name the child’s father and attempts will be

made to include him in the decision-making process. If

the father is named on the birth certificate or if a man

is recognised by the court as being the father of a

child, then his consent is necessary before that child

can be adopted. The father will be allowed time to

establish paternity. If the father wishes to raise the

child, he has the right to do so. If the mother and

father do not agree with regard to the child’s future,

the matter may be decided by the Family Court. This

would happen before any consent to adoption had

been completed.

Consent to adoption

Under the South Australian Adoption Act (1988),

consent to adoption cannot be given until the child is

at least fourteen days old. Counselling after the birth is

compulsory and must be completed at least three

days prior to consent being given. The mother of the

child must also be given information in writing

regarding the consequences of the adoption, prior to

any taking of consent. After the consent has been

signed there is a period of twenty-five days during

which the consent may be revoked. This period can

be extended by up to fourteen days, but it cannot be

shortened.

In practice, the consent to adoption is sometimes not

finalised until several months after the birth. While this

may not be an ideal situation, it is felt to be of prime

importance that children have every opportunity to

be raised within their families of origin. This will prevent

the long term complexities in the lives of those children

and their parents, which would occur if an adoption

took place. During this period the child may remain

with the mother and/or father.

I have heard of cases in North America, tragically, in

which adoption consents have been signed even

before the birth, or very soon after the birth. I have

also heard of cases where attempts to revoke the

consent the day after it had been signed have failed.

Meetings with prospective adopters

In Australia there is never any contact of any kind

between expectant mothers and prospective

adopters. I know that there are many who agree with

me that such contacts are intrusive, disempowering to

the expectant mother and potentially exploitative.

They may even serve to encourage an inappropriate

sense of ‘ownership’ in the prospective adopters,

which, I believe, shows a lack of respect for and

understanding of the sanctity of the mother/child

bond. I am aware that this shocking practice is

considered by many to be unethical.

In South Australia, only after the consent to adoption

has been signed and after the twenty-five day

revocation period has expired will the government

department involved select adopters for the child.

After this decision has been made, a meeting may

take place between the prospective adopters who

have been selected and the mother, if the mother

requests such a meeting. Prospective adopters will not

have any contact at all with the child until after the

revocation period has expired and they have been

notified that they have been selected to adopt.

I find it hard to understand how anyone can support

the practice of having prospective adopters meet

with expectant mothers and try to induce them to

consent to the adoption of the child they are carrying.

I believe that prospective adopters are sometimes

even allowed to be present at the hospital while the

birth is taking place. I was appalled to hear that this

happens in North America. I find such behaviour

totally inappropriate and unethical. It concerns me

greatly that prospective adopters who behave in this

way are not thereby considered as unsuitable to

adopt.

Birth certificates

In South Australia, if the adopters are willing, they can

have their names added to the child’s original birth

certificate instead of having a new one issued. This

means that, after the adoption, the names of both the

parents and the adopters appear on the same

document, which is the child’s legal birth certificate.

The mother of the child has access to the original birth

certificate from the time that the adoption takes

place. The father also has access if his name appears

on the birth certificate.

Regardless of the type of birth certificate issued,

adopted adults in South Australia have access to their

original birth certificates and other documentation

pertaining to their adoption, when they are eighteen

years old. The original birth certificate has details of

their parents, including their names and addresses at

the time of the adoption. They may have access prior

to the age of eighteen with the consent of their

adopters. The mother of the adopted child also has

access to the replacement birth certificate when the

adopted child becomes an adult, at the age of

eighteen years. This document has details of the child’s

adopted name and the names of the adopters and

their address at the time of the adoption.

These documents are also available to the children of

the mothers, either if the mother gives permission or

after her death and to the children of an adopted

adult, if the adopted adult gives permission or after

their death. Similar access to adoption information is

available in all states, although in some cases, the

release of information can be prevented by a person

involved in the adoption. Fathers also have the right

to access information about their children under

certain circumstances. The legislation which allows this

access has been in effect in South Australia since 1989.

I know that there are some states in North America

where adopted adults are allowed to access their

original birth certificates but there are no states, as far

as I am aware, in which parents are allowed to access

the replacement birth certificates once their children

are adults. I look forward to the time when equal

access to adoption information, such as exists in South

Australia, will be accepted as a basic human right

everywhere in North America. This is an on-going issue

of social justice.

The right to raise a child

There seems to be an unhealthy attitude in North

America that there are some people who are

‘entitled’ to raise children (whether their own or

someone else’s) and that there are others who are

not. The result of this seems to be that, rather than

adoption existing to serve needy children, adoption

seems to exist to a large extent to serve needy adults.

In some sectors of the media in North America, the

idea that certain people have a right to acquire a

child, by any means at their disposal, seems to go

unchallenged. Although this misguided notion does,

no doubt, also have some support in areas of the

Australian media, I find this attitude to be much less

prevalent in Australia than it is in North America.

Removing children from families

I was very shocked to learn that, in North America,

parents who are married and already have children

are being persuaded to relinquish newly-born infants.

The subsequent separation of such a child from a

previously intact family is causing enormous losses, for

the child, for the parents, for the other children in the

family, for the grandparents as well as many other

members of the extended family. This does not, to my

knowledge, happen anywhere in Australia.

Apparently, having children while on a low income is

now perceived as such a crime in some parts of North

America, that this dreadful punishment has been

devised. If poverty is considered to be a

disadvantage to such children, then government

initiatives which address the issue of poverty would be

more useful to them than replacing the complications

created in their lives by poverty with the complications

created by adoption.

In my professional opinion as a social worker, any

prospective adopters who would be willing to acquire

a child in this way, from an established family, would

be considered to be unsuitable candidates to be

entrusted with child-rearing responsibilities. It seems

that a ‘supply’ of such children, who already have an

entire family of relatives, is being engineered to meet

the ‘demand’ created by affluent strangers, who wish

to attempt to manufacture a family through adoption.

I cannot comprehend how anyone could consider

such a transaction to be anything other than

exploitative and socially unjust.

Adoptions of older children

While there are many in North America who are

working in family preservation programmes to prevent

separations of mothers and babies, I am saddened by

the fact that there are still those who believe that

adoption is an appropriate outcome for older children

who are unable to return to live with their families.

Adoption is rarely considered to be an appropriate

outcome for such children in Australia.

I have heard it said in North America that adoption

can provide such children with a sense of security. In

fact, in my opinion, the opposite is the case. Children

such as these know who they are and to whom they

are related. These realities do not change, no matter

where the child is living. To deny that identity and

those connections by issuing the child with a false birth

certificate has, in fact, the potential to create an

enormous sense of insecurity. If their identity and their

family connections are so dispensable, then how can

a child in this situation develop any sense of reality and

permanence? We all know that being part of an

adoptive family does not provide protection against

abuse, death or divorce. Adoption, in fact, does not

guarantee permanence of any kind and is actually an

attempt to create relationships where none existed

previously, rather than honouring those relationships

which already exist.

In Australia, children who are unable to live with their

families can be provided with a safe home

environment, based on an arrangement which

accepts and honours the reality of their identity and

their existing relationships. This, I believe, can allow

them to heal and recover without involving them in

the deceit and denial associated with adoption. Some

of these children have already been traumatised by

the abuse or neglect which they have suffered. In my

opinion, it is unnecessarily cruel to add to their trauma

by subjecting them to an adoption.

Conclusion

I am not, of course, suggesting that every child in

Australia lives in an ideal family environment. However,

it is not considered to be appropriate in Australia to try

to solve the problems of poverty and abuse in families,

by removing children and arranging for them to be

adopted.

Adoption is not a commercial transaction in Australia

and it is gradually being replaced by other, more

effective means of providing homes for children in

need. This suggests to me that Australians respect the

advantages in life which cannot be bought, including

a sense of knowing who we are and where we fit, a

sense of heritage and ancestry and a respect for the

intrinsic value of family membership.

I look forward to the day when children all over the

world will no longer be removed from what are

perceived to be dysfunctional poor families and

placed in what too often turn out to be dysfunctional

affluent families.

© Evelyn Robinson, MA, Dip Ed, BSW

January, 2004

This article may be reproduced for non-commercial

purposes only, providing that

it is reproduced in its entirety and without alteration.

Evelyn Robinson, who is a counsellor, speaker and

author of “Adoption and Loss –

The Hidden Grief”, welcomes contact from interested

readers.

Clova Publications

PO Box 328

Christies Beach

South Australia 5165

Tel: +61 – 8 - 8384 5805

Fax: +61 – 8 - 8384 5815

E-mail: erobinson@austarmetro.com.au

Web site: www.clovapublications.com

Adopted child returned to his Father by court order

2004-01-25T16:22:00.000-05:00

Jan 23, 2004
Western Nevada County, CA

Casey Johnson lost his son to adoption 11months ago. The boys mother Martina Summers contracted with a private adoption agency. The agency did nothing to find or consult Mr. Johnson to inform him about the adoption proceeding and his rights as a father.

The Nevada County Court ruled the boy had to be turned over to his fathers custody.

The adoptive parents had been fighting against Mr. Johnson for months knowing he wanted the responsibility of being the child's father.

They said they plan to adopt internationally to avoid having to deal with untrustworthy birthparents.

http://www.theunion.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20040123/NEWS/101230078

Korean Adoptees

2004-01-17T23:02:00.000-05:00

According to the Global Overseas Adoption some 200,000 Korean Children have been adopted abroad.
John Hamrin a 38 yr old Swedish adoptee born in Korea leads the G.O.A.L organization. His has moved back to Korea to reunite displaced Korean born adoptees with their family's and culture.

http://www.goal.or.kr/
http://times.hankooki.com/lpage/nation/200401/kt2004011618112944430.htm

Utah Takes Advantage of Poor Unmarried Parents

2004-01-17T22:47:00.000-05:00

Utah's adoption laws are being challenged by fathers in North Carolina, Arizona and Alabama. Fathers rights are being trampled upon and most are not told their child may be placed for adoption. Each year hundreds of women travel to Utah to give birth. Many are lured to Utah by adoption agencies promising a better life for them and their soon to be adopted babys. Most mothers do not understand Utah's adoption laws and are not told once they sign the relinquishment papers their is no recourse.

http://www.suntimes.com/output/mitchell/cst-nws-mitch15.html

New Survey shows Adopted Adults should be able to view birth records

2004-01-17T22:26:00.000-05:00

Nov 25,2003 http://company.findlaw.com/pr/2003/112503.adoptiondocs.html

A recent survey found that over 84% of Americans think adoptees should have full access to their birth records.

Some estimate that six million children may have been adopted as children in the U.S. Currently only Oregon, Tennessee, Alabama, and Kansas have open records.

Pacific Islanders flown to U.S. by adoption agencies to place children in adoption

2004-01-11T01:00:00.000-05:00

sunspot.net - nation/world

In violation of Marshall Island law three US senators are asking Homeland Security Secretary Tom Ridge to block the practice of adoption agencies flying women to the U to give up newborns for adoption.

This practice has been outlawed for 2 years and the investigation was started by the Hawaii's Attorney General Office in regards to possible Medicaid fraud.

Americans are paying up to $30,000.00 for these children and birth mothers are paid up to a $100.00 a week plus expenses.

ebabes

2004-01-07T00:55:00.000-05:00

A mother who allegedly sold her baby over the internet has been arrested and had her child taken into care.

The 33-year-old woman from Keighley, West Yorks, was arrested in Southampton - where she had gone to give birth - on Dec 11 last year.

Her baby is now being fostered by social services and a second child is also subject to care proceedings.

A West Yorkshire Police spokesman confirmed a 33-year-old woman has been questioned in connection with offences under the Adoption Act.

He said: "She has been bailed pending further inquiries and a baby girl was taken into the care of social services in Southampton on the same day."

A Bradford council spokesman said: "We can confirm that two children are subject to confidential care proceedings."

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/main.jhtml?

Adoption Scheme

2004-01-07T00:53:00.000-05:00

HONOLULU -- A Kauai woman accused of orchestrating the purchase of Cambodian children and offering them to adoptive parents is expected to surrender Wednesday to federal authorities in Seattle.

Lauryn Galindo, 52, of Hanalei, is named in a federal indictment as a conspirator in the adoption scheme, along with her sister, Lynn Devlin of Mercer Island, Wash. Galindo and her lawyer, Mark Lane, are expected to meet with federal attorneys for the first time Wednesday.

Devlin, who runs Seattle International Adoptions Inc., pleaded guilty Dec. 10 to falsifying documents to obtain U.S. visas for Cambodian children. She is scheduled to be sentenced March 12 in Seattle.

Galindo has arranged hundreds of adoptions - both through her sister's firm and other adoption agencies - since first traveling to Cambodia in the early 1990s. Among her clients is actress Angelina Jolie, who adopted a Cambodian boy two years ago using Galindo's service.

Galindo has often been portrayed as a hero to Cambodian children for overcoming wartime conflicts, government bureaucracy and other obstacles to find homes for unwanted and impoverished orphans. Her spokesman, Steve Jaffe, said she maintains her innocence and is cooperating with federal investigators.

U.S. authorities have been concerned about Cambodian adoptions for some time and suspended American citizens' adoptions from that country altogether two years ago.

The Nov. 6 grand jury indictment claims Galindo and Devlin obtained visas illegally between 1997 and 1999 "to expedite the adoption process" and "enhance their profits." It claims the two led U.S. immigration officials to believe the children were orphans, when in fact they were bought from their mothers.

The two women charged about $10,500 for their adoptions, according to court documents.

http://www.kauaiworld.com/articles/2004/01/05/news/news03.txt

Angelina Jolie facing legal battle to remain custody of her adopted son

2004-01-06T01:47:00.000-05:00

Angelina Jolie was shocked to hear that her two-year-old child might not be an orphan and could have been sold by his birth mother in a desperate attempt to escape a poverty-stricken life.

The FBI has already closed down Seattle International Adoptions Inc., used by Jolie to adopt Maddox, after its former owner Lynn Devin pleaded guilty to false claims that some children the agency handled were orphans.

"I will never give my little boy back," Jolie has told a friend.

"I've given him a home, I've given him love and he's mine."

Ironically, Jolie's ex-husband Billy Bob Thornton voiced concerns about Maddox's parentage before they separated in July 2002.

"Billy Bob voiced strong fears that poor Cambodian women were being taken advantage of," said a source.

http://uk.news.yahoo.com/040109/325/eioqw.html

Adoptee fights State of Nevada to know whereabouts of sisters

2004-01-06T01:43:00.000-05:00

The Nevada Supreme Court ruled last week that a teenage girl in foster care has a right to learn the whereabouts of her three younger sisters.

The state Division of Child and Family Services had flouted an earlier court order that a visitation plan be established before final adoption and that the girls be given unlimited unsupervised visitation with one another, the court found.

The case involves four girls who became wards of the state in April 1998. The oldest is identified in the Supreme Court opinion as "A.M.S." and now is about 14.

http://www.reviewjournal.com/lvrj_home/2004/Jan-04-Sun-2004/opinion/22919435.html

Children for Sale

2004-01-06T01:36:00.000-05:00

Lauryn Galindo, 52, of Hanalei, is facing conspiracy to commit visa fraud charges in Seattle federal court relating to the adoption of Cambodian children.

Federal prosecutors charge that Galindo, along with her sister, Lynn Devlin, of Washington, and Devlin's company, Seattle International Adoptions, Inc., were buying Cambodian children from their parents and representing them as orphans.

According to the grand jury indictment, filed in federal court in Seattle on November 6: "It was the object of the conspiracy to expedite the adoption process for Cambodian children to United States families and to enhance their profits."

"The defendants would falsely represent to the United States Department of State and the Immigration and Naturalization Service the fact that adopted children were orphans, and would falsely represent the identity of adopted children," the indictment continued.

http://www.kauaiworld.com/articles/2004/01/05/news/news03.txt